Working on my character's background, any feedback is welcome as this is my 1st attempt to write a full story totally in English for English speaking audience with very little Roleplay knowledge and poor writing skills (I DRAW comics, I don't write them).
I read I'm supposed to post this link somewhere else, will do... but later, right now I gotta start writing before I forget the details.
Please remember that this is under construction and I might even stop writing on the middle of a sentence and post it anyway. That is because I'm a full-time multitasker and would hate to lose whatever I wrote just cuz I went AFK and didn't save.
Names have a very high importance for me, and because of that, I cannot just pick up or make up a name, use it and be happy about that. Therefore, all names here (or absence of one) are subject to change, anyways... I still have one more week to decide on them.
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Lyall's story began before he was born, in the city-state of Gridania.
Iyanna, daughter of Melisande (a fine weaver) and Faber (an skilled armorer,) had meet a handsome and strong sailor/captain (adventurer/mercenary?) who happened to have business with her father at that time; it was love at first sight. They soon married and moved back to Limsa Lominsa from where this man is from. He owns a ship and makes a living from fishing deep in the sea. Within a couple of years, they had 2 kids: a boy and a girl.
One day, Iyanna's husband was hired to carry out a special task, he had to take his ship to a certain place and it would take weeks or perhaps months before he could come back home. (Details about this to be fine-tuned once I learn more about FFXIV to figure out what could they possibly ask him for).
During that time, Iyanna meet a man. He wasn't handsome, but he treated her like a princess and she couldn't avoid to fall in love with him (I know, all elezen are beautiful, we are talking about *her* taste). Long story short, they got too intimate and as a result, she got pregnant. She was so ashamed of her self, this incident would certainly taint the name of her family and hurt her husband's pride. She asked this man to never come to her sight again and she locked herself at home until her husband returns. If anyone noticed her belly, she would say she is gaining weight and laugh out of it.
One night, she had a conversation with her husband. She explains that the life in Limsa Lominsa is too stressing for her and as a consequence she is gaining weight. She express her desire to go back to Gridania, the quiet and the scenery of her hometown, would help her relax and she would come back once she feels better. Her husband tried to convince her to stay and assure her that he would do his best to provide her with a quiet environment and perhaps hire a doctor to help her out. But she refused and added that she hasn't seen her parents for years, maybe that is all she needs. Reluctant, he accepts and arranges for her an escort to take her to Gridania.
Once in Gridania, Iyanna explains the situation to her mother, of how she is pregnant out of wedlock and how she needs her help. Melisande advices that the kid should not be born, it will only bring disgrace to the family. Iyanna responds that there is nothing wrong with giving a baby a chance to live. If it was any other person, Melisande would condemn the idea and would walk away, but it is her daughter who is in this unfortunate situation and therefore she feels compelled to help.
Next day, Melisande and Iyanna hire a chocobo ride to the Ferry Docks near Ul'dah. They tell everyone that Melisande is going to Limsa Lominsa to meet her grandchildren. Faber is to stay and continue with the armor selling business... not that he cared to go anyway, he has never been a family person. In real, they go to Ul'dah, and will stay there until the baby is born. Once born, Iyanna returns to Limsa Lominsa and Melisande to Gridania, with the baby, she is going to take care of him as requested by her daughter.
Melisande presents the baby as an adopted child and gives him their family name, Athazer, while Lyall was the name chosen for him by Iyanna. Some say that Melisande, after seeing her grandchildren, missed the time of when she had her own child. Others say that they needed a boy to take over the family business when the time comes. Others go even further, saying that Melisande had ask Faber for another child since the beginning, but Faber was too busy at his workshop making armors that it could never be done, so she had to adopt one by herself. But why from Limsa Lominsa when there are enough orphans in Gridania ?? No one could come up with an answer for that, neither did dare to ask.
Some of Melisande's friends where concerned about her capability to take care of a baby at her age; there is a lot of difference between taking care of a baby or a grown up kid. But every little attempt to help her out, even on the most simple of the things such as picking up something that Melisande accidentally dropped, caused her to become upset and assure them that she is not that old. So they step outside and justify themselves by thinking that taking care of the baby is this old woman's wish and they should not interfere, moreover they would only hurt her pride. Anyway, she was a great mother for Iyanna and has always been very nice to the kids. They give it for granted that she will do her best to take care of the baby and if she ever needs help, she will ask it, for the sake of the child.
Indeed, while Lyall was still a baby, Melisande took good care of him, always gentle and prompt to satisfy every little need the baby could have. It wasn't until Lyall became mischievous as any little boy of his age would be (between 3~5 yo). Melisande wasn't in the mood of having to deal with an annoying little kid running around the house breaking stuff, making noise and getting in trouble. So whenever she wasn't in the mood to yell and the boy was too energetic, she would take him outside and let him become someone else's problem. As the kid groew up and was more receptive for words, she would scold him for a long time, telling him how useless and annoying he is and that he just should be quiet and not cause troubles. He was still a little kid (about 5~7 yo) but was expected to carry on duties responsibly and reprehended if he didn't.
As any kid, Lyall would constantly try to gain the approval and praising words from his parents, but instead, every little attempt backfired. Like in one occasion, Melisande ran out of marmalade for that night's dessert, so she ordered Lyall to bring in some berries from their garden. While he was picking up the berries, Lyall found a stone that he believed was beautiful and rare. That stone was so special in Lyall's eyes that he thought that if he gave it to his mother, she would be so happy and thank him for such a beautiful gift (like if that stone was real jewelry). Excited with the idea, Lyall ran to his mother and present her the stone, she instead yell stuff at him like: "I sent you to get me berries, not stones, Don't you know the difference ??" *throws stone thru the window* "I order you to do something and you laugh at my back !! You go an play instead of doing what I requested, Is that how you respect me ?? I already have the water boiling !! What are you waiting ?? You are so useless, you can't even do a simple task !!"
Despite the rough treatment, he still love his parents and dream of the day in which his mother will finally recognize him. But again and again, every attempt to please his mother fails, making him wonder if she actually hates him. Every time it would seem more clear to him that Melisande hates him. Lyall would expend most of his nights trying to remember what he did to his mother to hate him that much, but would fall asleep before finding the answer.
One day, Lyall gets into a fight with another kid. That kid was making fun of the mistakes Lyall's parents do because of their old age. Lyall had the kid defenseless on the floor, when the kid said: "Why are you mad at me ?? Don't you see ?? They are old enough to be your grandparents parents !!" Lyall takes a moment to think and compare the other kids parents with his. The kid was right, his parents are very old. Lyall was about 9 years old when he realized he might been adopted.
.
.
.
Thanks for reading, send any corrections/observations/ideas if you feel like it. Or post it here ?? I think I read you can do that if I allow that, and I don't mind... feedback is great !! xD
I read I'm supposed to post this link somewhere else, will do... but later, right now I gotta start writing before I forget the details.
Please remember that this is under construction and I might even stop writing on the middle of a sentence and post it anyway. That is because I'm a full-time multitasker and would hate to lose whatever I wrote just cuz I went AFK and didn't save.
Names have a very high importance for me, and because of that, I cannot just pick up or make up a name, use it and be happy about that. Therefore, all names here (or absence of one) are subject to change, anyways... I still have one more week to decide on them.
===========================================================================================
Lyall's story began before he was born, in the city-state of Gridania.
Iyanna, daughter of Melisande (a fine weaver) and Faber (an skilled armorer,) had meet a handsome and strong sailor/captain (adventurer/mercenary?) who happened to have business with her father at that time; it was love at first sight. They soon married and moved back to Limsa Lominsa from where this man is from. He owns a ship and makes a living from fishing deep in the sea. Within a couple of years, they had 2 kids: a boy and a girl.
One day, Iyanna's husband was hired to carry out a special task, he had to take his ship to a certain place and it would take weeks or perhaps months before he could come back home. (Details about this to be fine-tuned once I learn more about FFXIV to figure out what could they possibly ask him for).
During that time, Iyanna meet a man. He wasn't handsome, but he treated her like a princess and she couldn't avoid to fall in love with him (I know, all elezen are beautiful, we are talking about *her* taste). Long story short, they got too intimate and as a result, she got pregnant. She was so ashamed of her self, this incident would certainly taint the name of her family and hurt her husband's pride. She asked this man to never come to her sight again and she locked herself at home until her husband returns. If anyone noticed her belly, she would say she is gaining weight and laugh out of it.
One night, she had a conversation with her husband. She explains that the life in Limsa Lominsa is too stressing for her and as a consequence she is gaining weight. She express her desire to go back to Gridania, the quiet and the scenery of her hometown, would help her relax and she would come back once she feels better. Her husband tried to convince her to stay and assure her that he would do his best to provide her with a quiet environment and perhaps hire a doctor to help her out. But she refused and added that she hasn't seen her parents for years, maybe that is all she needs. Reluctant, he accepts and arranges for her an escort to take her to Gridania.
Once in Gridania, Iyanna explains the situation to her mother, of how she is pregnant out of wedlock and how she needs her help. Melisande advices that the kid should not be born, it will only bring disgrace to the family. Iyanna responds that there is nothing wrong with giving a baby a chance to live. If it was any other person, Melisande would condemn the idea and would walk away, but it is her daughter who is in this unfortunate situation and therefore she feels compelled to help.
Next day, Melisande and Iyanna hire a chocobo ride to the Ferry Docks near Ul'dah. They tell everyone that Melisande is going to Limsa Lominsa to meet her grandchildren. Faber is to stay and continue with the armor selling business... not that he cared to go anyway, he has never been a family person. In real, they go to Ul'dah, and will stay there until the baby is born. Once born, Iyanna returns to Limsa Lominsa and Melisande to Gridania, with the baby, she is going to take care of him as requested by her daughter.
Melisande presents the baby as an adopted child and gives him their family name, Athazer, while Lyall was the name chosen for him by Iyanna. Some say that Melisande, after seeing her grandchildren, missed the time of when she had her own child. Others say that they needed a boy to take over the family business when the time comes. Others go even further, saying that Melisande had ask Faber for another child since the beginning, but Faber was too busy at his workshop making armors that it could never be done, so she had to adopt one by herself. But why from Limsa Lominsa when there are enough orphans in Gridania ?? No one could come up with an answer for that, neither did dare to ask.
Some of Melisande's friends where concerned about her capability to take care of a baby at her age; there is a lot of difference between taking care of a baby or a grown up kid. But every little attempt to help her out, even on the most simple of the things such as picking up something that Melisande accidentally dropped, caused her to become upset and assure them that she is not that old. So they step outside and justify themselves by thinking that taking care of the baby is this old woman's wish and they should not interfere, moreover they would only hurt her pride. Anyway, she was a great mother for Iyanna and has always been very nice to the kids. They give it for granted that she will do her best to take care of the baby and if she ever needs help, she will ask it, for the sake of the child.
Indeed, while Lyall was still a baby, Melisande took good care of him, always gentle and prompt to satisfy every little need the baby could have. It wasn't until Lyall became mischievous as any little boy of his age would be (between 3~5 yo). Melisande wasn't in the mood of having to deal with an annoying little kid running around the house breaking stuff, making noise and getting in trouble. So whenever she wasn't in the mood to yell and the boy was too energetic, she would take him outside and let him become someone else's problem. As the kid groew up and was more receptive for words, she would scold him for a long time, telling him how useless and annoying he is and that he just should be quiet and not cause troubles. He was still a little kid (about 5~7 yo) but was expected to carry on duties responsibly and reprehended if he didn't.
As any kid, Lyall would constantly try to gain the approval and praising words from his parents, but instead, every little attempt backfired. Like in one occasion, Melisande ran out of marmalade for that night's dessert, so she ordered Lyall to bring in some berries from their garden. While he was picking up the berries, Lyall found a stone that he believed was beautiful and rare. That stone was so special in Lyall's eyes that he thought that if he gave it to his mother, she would be so happy and thank him for such a beautiful gift (like if that stone was real jewelry). Excited with the idea, Lyall ran to his mother and present her the stone, she instead yell stuff at him like: "I sent you to get me berries, not stones, Don't you know the difference ??" *throws stone thru the window* "I order you to do something and you laugh at my back !! You go an play instead of doing what I requested, Is that how you respect me ?? I already have the water boiling !! What are you waiting ?? You are so useless, you can't even do a simple task !!"
Despite the rough treatment, he still love his parents and dream of the day in which his mother will finally recognize him. But again and again, every attempt to please his mother fails, making him wonder if she actually hates him. Every time it would seem more clear to him that Melisande hates him. Lyall would expend most of his nights trying to remember what he did to his mother to hate him that much, but would fall asleep before finding the answer.
One day, Lyall gets into a fight with another kid. That kid was making fun of the mistakes Lyall's parents do because of their old age. Lyall had the kid defenseless on the floor, when the kid said: "Why are you mad at me ?? Don't you see ?? They are old enough to be your grandparents parents !!" Lyall takes a moment to think and compare the other kids parents with his. The kid was right, his parents are very old. Lyall was about 9 years old when he realized he might been adopted.
.
.
.
Thanks for reading, send any corrections/observations/ideas if you feel like it. Or post it here ?? I think I read you can do that if I allow that, and I don't mind... feedback is great !! xD