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Yangh · **07-07-2014, 09:28 PM**

I've been back to this wonderful game for a little over a week now, I love this game.

Now today, I had a very odd interaction who's name I will not mention. I approached this person, greeted them OOCly and was met with a bunch of OOC dot [ ... ] then a complete shun.

I sent this person a /tell and was ignored and thusly took it to PM's as I'm was and still am baffled as to what the hells is going on.

The response I got in the PM was cryptic and slanderous to boot. I've apparently done "Something" that warrants the line "I know enough about you that I would rather stay away and have no contact with you at all."Â

Let me stop here for a moment. I've never met this person until today. I was away for almost TWO MONTHS prior and had never met or even HEARD of them during m y RP time before.

The next line that followed I found a little odd.

Normally I would contact you to talk, and I have, just not on this character.Â You made everything that was said about you true.Â

This line is even MORE odd. Firstly,Â I'veÂ been back a little over a week. I've not been prodding for any type of information by anyone. I'd have noticed. Secondly, this just smacks of word of mouth. Again, i've been away for a long time, how exactly can oneÂ determineÂ theÂ typeÂ of person theÂ PLAYER is when they've neither been here nor been asked as such.

Again this is thin and this i my situation. I do not come here seeking conflict but resolution. The person in question WILL NOT respond to my PM's and so i'm left with no choice but to make this issue public.

I will NOT be slandered based on word of mouth laced with thin, BASELESS cloak and dagger wording.

I ask for advice, I don't want to make enemies and I honestly believe this is a huge misunderstanding somewhere...

Please help Sad

Val · **07-07-2014, 09:34 PM**

In my experience, you're hardly ever going to find a community where everyone adores you. As much as it sucks and I'm sure you don't honestly know why, if they aren't willing to at least explain it to you then the best thing you can do is move on.

From the brief time I've managed to RP with you, you seem to have a great deal of friends and are a genuinely nice person to be around. I wouldn't sweat it. If they wish to keep their distance from you, let them keep their distance. You do the same and try to focus on having fun rather than what some random person might say or think =)

Melkire · **07-07-2014, 09:36 PM**

1. Why does it matter what one person thinks of you?

2. Why are you airing both your laundry and theirs?

3. This seems like kindergarten-esque drama. "Teacher, why doesn't this other kid want to play with me?"

4. You know this thread is inevitably going to get locked due to #2 and #3, right?

5. My personal advice: move on. There are plenty of people who don't want to RP with me, and there are plenty of people I don't want to RP with. It's not the end of the world.Â

tl;dr: Positive attitude makes a huge difference.

EDIT: Also what Val said.

Yangh · **07-07-2014, 09:38 PM**

(07-07-2014, 09:36 PM)Melkire Wrote: 1. Why does it matter what one person thinks of you?

2. Why are you airing both your laundry and theirs?

3. This seems like kindergarten-esque drama. "Teacher, why doesn't this other kid want to play with me?"

4. You know this thread is inevitably going to get locked due to #2 and #3, right?

5. My personal advice: move on. There are plenty of people who don't want to RP with me, and there are plenty of people I don't want to RP with. It's not the end of the world.Â

tl;dr: Positive attitude makes a huge difference.

EDIT: Also what Val said.

I realise this will get locked but its deeply upsetting to be slandered treated in such a way for no reason. I don't expect this of this community. Sad

[EDIT] - I'm airing as stated in post. They've shut down communication and its DEEPLY upsetting. I or anyone else does not deserve to be treated this way just for trying to RP with someone.

Faye · **07-07-2014, 09:41 PM**

My advice is, honestly, to ignore it. The type of people who do this nonsense aren't the kind of people who are willing to listen to reason, and even if they were, they aren't the type of people you'd want to befriend. In a previous MMO through my activity and involvement in the community my name became relatively well-known on the server, and I apparently became an easy target for people to spread false rumors about or decide they hated me for no reason.

Sadly, as I've never hidden my identity, that reputation apparently followed me here to XIV where players of that other MMO who I've never met, spoken to, or even consciously seen in either game have continued to gossip or refused to associate with me because they "know what I'm like" despite never having even spoken to me.

Having ridiculous rumors spread about you is sort of a blessing in a way--it weeds out the people you shouldn't waste your time on.

Gwen · **07-07-2014, 09:45 PM**

Don't pay attention to them. I am sure it is based entirely of of something Yangh said IC'ly and taken seriously OOC, as most things like this are.

But you and all your friends know that you're a great person so... (And I know I'm a hypocrite for saying something like this since I'm a sponge) You shouldn't let it get to you, they don't know you! And if it is because of something said IC then I'm sure they'll realize the error of their ways when they fall out with the friends they currently have for the same reasons.

FreelanceWizard · **07-07-2014, 09:56 PM**

Melkire's prediction is correct. I'm preemptively locking this thread; the last time we had one of these where names were not named, they came out anyway and the thread turned into a drama fireball. Sad

I'll also echo the advice that there will always be passive-aggressive people, rumour-spreaders, and even nice people who will pleasantly turn you down for RP for whatever reason (a clash in RP style, lore interpretation, dislike of your character concept, or what have you). I'm sure there's some people here who hate me and would like nothing more than to nuke me and my character from orbit. As a wise man once said, "Haters gonna hate." The best approach is to not worry too much about it...

...but that said, I'd also recommend cultivating a healthy "meta" perception of your character and RP. A certain amount of second-guessing of your own RP is a good thing, IMO; it drives improvement and helps avoid the "special snowflake" trap.

If you'd like to start a new thread about advice on how to handle the sorts of situations in a general sense, please feel free, but I recommend perhaps giving yourself a day or two to cool off.

Require advice.

RPC has moved! These pages have been kept for historical purposes