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Greetings, my fine and festive fellow Eorzeans. I, Dovan Dracht, friend and constant ally to all who revel in revelry, am pleased to announce a shindig on the shore, a soiree upon the sand, the celebration of the season! On [Eorzean equivalent of Saturday, September 6th, 6PM CST], join everybody who's anybody in Mist, Ward 4, in celebrating both the close of the Moonfire Faire, and the "Rising," which, as I understand it, commemorates six (relatively) quiet years of having not even one additional moon dropped on our collective heads. We are calling it the "Moonfire Farewell and Rising Falling Beach Party and Screenshot Contest." (...well, *I* am calling it that. Others seem to have settled on "Moonfire Farewell" or "that one beach party, you know?" Tch. Pearls before swine.)Â
The face of a man you can trust
Picture it now, in your mind's eye: you and your attractive companions, cutting dashing figures in yukata or swimwear, and cutting a rug with the latest bomb-themed dance moves. (Not cutting a *literal* rug, of course - how wasteful!) Splashing in the surf, sunning yourself on the pristine sand. Champagne toasts at sunset, and the opportunity to discover, once and for all, if you do, in fact, like long walks along the beach. Ooh and ahh over the fireworks display in the company of your friends, lovers, and perhaps lovers-to-be, for how can they resist such an evening of scantily-clad whimsy and romance?
My admirable associate Adolar reminds me to remind *you* of the diverting contest we've arranged. We've recently come into a windfall of curious magiteknical wonders - flat, crystalline lenses the size of a student's slate. When activated, such a device reproduces on its surface (the "screen") the image of that at which it was pointed (or "shot," as it almost seems to fire out a blast of light as it captures the image, or "screenshot."). How came we by these marvels? Best not to concern yourself with the details. Consider them "salvaged," "repurposed," or "liberated," if you will. Now, the contest element comes from you (yes, you) utilizing aforementioned device to capture a scene of beauty, amusement, or, my personal favorite, unbridled sexiness, centered around the theme of the Moonfire Faire and/or Rising celebrations. Our supplies, though plentiful, are still limited, so we must ask you to grace us with only one or two of your artistic visions.
For prizes, we've quite the summertime treat. The Black Sails, in the course of their totally legitimate business endeavors, happened across a certain amulet, a talisman, if you will, which seems to constantly radiate the heat of the South Seas island from which it was liberated. (There's that word again - what heroic liberators we all are!) The heat does not harm the flesh, but wearing a flammable shirt in conjunction with the talisman is not recommended by Maelstrom Fire Marshal Groenswyv, shall we say. When worn about the neck, as one typically does with a necklace, it causes strange swirls of ink to cover one's shoulder and upper arm, in a manner both geometric and aesthetically pleasing. It is a fascinating process, and, from what I understand, only mildly excruciating.
Wondrous though this technology is, this image lacks the resolution to show his tears.
The second item is a fine fashion with a tragic tale. It is said that a handsome pirate captain of some renown came to be plagued by a particularly aggressive gigantshark. The shark would ram the sides of his ship, and even tried to leap up on deck with him, so he had to put the creature down. When he hauled the beast out of the sea to gloat in his victory, he saw no shark, but a bikini-clad woman, dying on the captain's own harpoon. She had been a swimmer ensorcelled, who yet loved the captain despite her finned form. As she died in his arms (which so often occurs in these sorts of stories), the captain was said to remark, "She stormed into me life like Leviathan himself, but left as gentle as a sea breeze in summer." Whether you are stirred by this possibly apocryphal offering, or merely by the thought of you or your lover donning this attractive garment, surely you can agree it is a worthwhile prize.
Miqo'te not included in prize package.
Various refreshing and enlivening beverages will be available for purchase courtesy of The Fourth Wall, Mist Ward 4's only worthwhile (and possibly only) drinking establishment. Remember to buy at least two bottles of champagne - one to drink, one to spray. Three, I suppose, if you intend to, say, launch a ship. If you wish for us to make use of your or your company's generosity in some way for this noteworthy event, please alert me or Adolar regarding your intended contribution, so we may credit you appropriately, and sing praises unto your name. If you wish to utilize this lively party as a platform for one of your tedious pet causes, do take a number  - I believe the bleeding-hearts of Area of Effect have that element covered. They'll be collecting donations for those wounded or displaced in the Calamity. The Eorzean Gambit's contribution of copious amounts of alcohol is, I think, a sort of charitable work in its own way.
The Fourth Wall. One wonders how often items therein are broken.
In conclusion, join us for an elegant evening of starlit conversation, and inebriated, nearly-naked adventurers playing with incendiary devices. What could possibly go wrong?