RPC has moved! These pages have been kept for historical purposes

Inessa Hara · **10-23-2014, 09:29 AM**

This mainly cam from a bout of random and funny insanity that happened across several Linkshells yesterday.

The concept is simple, basically, command your characters as you would command them to do something if this were an old insert command based adventure RPG. The command itself doesn't have to be serious. It can be stupid and insane. and you're characters may not listen to you're command if they don't want too, but you still have to write out a short RP segment of how they react to the almost non-existent voice that gave them the command.Â Â Â ._.

Ill go first.

=> Inessa, throw off you're clothes and dance like a ballerina in a public area while bleating like a goat.

Reaction: What insanity is this? You wouldn't dare to throw you're clothes off in a public place, and the idea of dancing like a ballerina fills you're stomach with disgust. You will however, contemplate bleating like a goat, especially during a battle, where you're battle cry that sound's like a bleating goat will be the symphony that heralds you're foe's imminent and brutal demise.

Melodia · **10-23-2014, 09:46 AM**

=> Melodia, go sit next to that man at the bar and flirt.

Reaction: Are ye.....I can no' do....*blushes* I'm no' even....Ye know I'm on duty, right? I'll haul ye t' the damn brig ye keep this up! Flirtin' on duty.....*walks away, voice fading as she walks* ...of all th' insane ideas...."

Inessa Hara · **10-23-2014, 10:01 AM**

=>INESSA, DO THE PREVIOUS COMMAND THIS INSTANT.

You defy the voice in you're head that makes such rude demand's of you. You are thinking of bleating like a goat. Isn't that enough?

=>Fine. Inessa, what would you rather do then?

You wish to spend you're time helping others and playing with children. Despite how much you can piss off others, children always seem to love and want to play games with you, and when there are not other pressing matters to attend to, you oblige them, playing games such as tag or hide and seek.

=>BOOOOORING. INESSA, KILL SOMETHING ALREADY.

You outright refuse the notion of killing another person. You are okay with killing monsters and hunting animal's for sustenance, but you refuse the thought of killing another person unless they are the first to agress you.

ProvaDiServo · **10-23-2014, 10:11 AM**

=> Petra, Target Brass Blade A, HiddenArt1</exe>

Reaction: You sigh deeply, understanding that by engaging in this behavior you will blow your cover. Had this lalafelan brass said anything to disrespect you? No, but your body wills you to knock the poor bastard on his rear. Your conscience pleads with your impulse not to follow through with the attack, but it is too late. You have already launched the poor man skyward with your leaping uppercut as all of pearl lane hears your resounding battle cry.

Telluride · **10-23-2014, 10:40 AM**

=> NATHAN, VERBOSE

Maximum Verbosity. And if you'd been paying attention, mate, you'd have noticed that this command isn't actually recognized by the parser, but I put this little gem of a response in to make you feel like you were in control of this game. I mean, who do you think you are, a speech writer? What kind of mentally mucked-up monkey actually goes around saying things like "Go North" and "Open Mailbox" and "Kill Troll With Sword"? We don't even have trolls in this game and if we did...

[THREE SCREENS OF TEXT LATER]

... we'd be luckier with the Roegadyn if you'd stop worrying about finding a grue in every dark place? Now, where in the seven hells were we?

=> INVITE BARMAID TO TABLE

Well, it's about bloody time somebody read the manual!

You kick up your feet and cross your ankles as the incredibly tall and shapely Roegadyn barmaid comes by, and direct a lurid and probably overbearing comment towards her: "Get me something with a full body and a robust bouquet, love, and if a little extra chat with you is on the menu, I promise you the tip will be more than worth your time."

Inessa Hara · **10-23-2014, 10:49 AM**

=>INESSA, I GROW TIRED OF THE CHATBOX BEING FLOODED BY NAUL JOKES FROM THE IMPUDENT MASSES. SLAY IT IMMEDIATELY.

You dont know what the hell a chatbox is. Is it some kind of contraption or ancient allagan device? Who knows...

=>Inessa, strife with the lad who just tossed a lalafell down the street.

You would have drawn steel on the man by now and fought him... that's if the Lalafell was dead. The little man is fine and well but a bit bruised from the experience. You decide to ignore him.

=>INESSA, DRESS UP IN A SEXY MAID OUTFIT AND PERFORM FANSERVICE FOR THE PEASANT MASSES.

What?

OttoVann · **10-23-2014, 11:08 AM**

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] yum install Franz-Controls -y

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] Franz-Controls shirt -Rv

Aaron · **10-23-2014, 11:12 AM**

Aaron say something funny and stupid!Â

"You."

Telluride · **10-23-2014, 11:16 AM**

=> EXAMINE MIQO'TE

Which one? The place is overrun with tails flitting about. You were already busy doing this anyway, so help out there! Oh, all right, there are two particular Miqo'te females in here that catch your attention, mostly because they seem to be looking in all directions at once, as if some disembodied voice were trying to tell them to do something and they just didn't know what to do about it.

=> GET MIQO'TE

Your Ma taught you better than to do that in a crowded place, mate. Any way, don't forget that this game is rated T for Teen.

=> LEWD MODE

Look, mate, this is FFXIV: The Great Eorzean Empire, not Leather Goddesses of Phobos.

=> DRINK MADJACK RED

Smooth going down. Good call.

=> WAIT

Time passes...

Inessa Hara · **10-23-2014, 11:19 AM**

=>Inessa, Slay Bahamut in Final Coil, Save the world, get laid.

You think to yourself that slaying Bahamut would give you immense street cred so you keep that in mind. You are also thinking about running off on an epic adventure to save the world, but you don't much care for getting laid and would like to avoid that part entirely.

=>Inessa, you must get laid after you save the world. This is mandatory for all world saving hero's.

You begin to start ignoring the voice in you're head, very sure that he and/or she is a very bad influence.

**Unnamed Mercenary** · **10-23-2014, 11:20 AM**

(10-23-2014, 11:08 AM)OttoVann Wrote: [OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] yum install Franz-Controls -y

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] Franz-Controls shirt -Rv

Franz# pacman -S shirt

Franz# pacman -R Franz-Controls

ProvaDiServo · **10-23-2014, 11:54 AM**

=> Petra, Twerk for the refugees

You can only guess that the voice wishes for you to dance for the addicts of street, which you will not. No self respecting woman would.

=> Petra, do a barrel roll !

You laugh at the idea but you hop into an empty barrel and roll in it down the street. Your giggles and "Wheee!"s are promptly replaced by dizziness and vomiting.

OttoVann · **10-23-2014, 11:57 AM**

(10-23-2014, 11:20 AM)Unnamed Mercenary Wrote:
(10-23-2014, 11:08 AM)OttoVann Wrote: [OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] yum install Franz-Controls -y

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] Franz-Controls shirt -Rv

Franz# pacman -S shirt

Franz# pacman -R Franz-Controls

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] useradd Coatleque -c "Coatleque Crofte"

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] passwd Coatleque
[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] purevil

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] su - Coatleque

(now what do I do)

**Unnamed Mercenary** · **10-23-2014, 11:58 AM**

(10-23-2014, 11:57 AM)OttoVann Wrote:
(10-23-2014, 11:20 AM)Unnamed Mercenary Wrote:
(10-23-2014, 11:08 AM)OttoVann Wrote: [OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] yum install Franz-Controls -y

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] Franz-Controls shirt -Rv

Franz# pacman -S shirt

Franz# pacman -R Franz-Controls

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] useradd Coatleque -c "Coatleque Crofte"

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] passwd Coatleque
[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] purevil

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] su - Coatleque

(now what do I do)

retconÂ everything with "sudo rm -rf /"

OttoVann · **10-23-2014, 12:10 PM**

(10-23-2014, 11:58 AM)Unnamed Mercenary Wrote:
(10-23-2014, 11:57 AM)OttoVann Wrote:
(10-23-2014, 11:20 AM)Unnamed Mercenary Wrote:
(10-23-2014, 11:08 AM)OttoVann Wrote: [OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] yum install Franz-Controls -y

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] Franz-Controls shirt -Rv

Franz# pacman -S shirt

Franz# pacman -R Franz-Controls

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] useradd Coatleque -c "Coatleque Crofte"

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] passwd Coatleque
[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] purevil

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] su - Coatleque

(now what do I do)

retconÂ everything with "sudo rm -rf /"

No way m8 we just made her a user, now she must enter commands.

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RPC has moved! These pages have been kept for historical purposes