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+--- Thread: RP-Relationship discussion (/showthread.php?tid=280)
Re: RP-Relationship discussion - Kashemia - 07-22-2010
Heh, I'm just gonna comment on what Castiel said first.
In most cases, I completely agree, I think people have a hard time seperating IC and OOC, and I've seen it first hand, where a girl got mad at me because my character danced with her husbands character at a party. There was no flirting, they barely spoke before or after, and yet, she got angry.
However, being engaged to a guy who quite possibly played the biggest tail chaser I've seen (Yes, Vahsyl), I'll have to say that it CAN work. It takes a lot of trust, but it's not something I've ever had an issue with. We have played relationships, we've even roleplayed sort-of-relationships-while-at-the-same-time-flirting-with-other-characters. It works because we talk about it and make sure that neither of us cross the limit to what the other person is comfortable with.
When we roleplay relationships, they are NEVER like our relationship. IRL, we never argue, we're quite annoyingly happy with eachother really, yet the rp relationships we've played has.. Never really panned out because they take ages to get started, because, well, they're never easy. I can't think of one time we've been even close to what we have in real life.
We're also both extremely aware of not isolating us self when roleplaying.
Another thing is, that while I possibly roleplayed romance with others in the past, my fiancé is just the person I right now am enjoying playing with the most. It doesn't mean that we don't roleplay with others, it doesn't mean that we will roleplay romance in XIV, but if it happens, I'm not gonna feel bad about it, because I know we can handle it.
Another comment to that is, that to the people who get upset about stuff like for instance your character IC'ly flirting with their girlfriends char or something, it would really help if they weren't playing a couple. It would probably be just as big a problem if they were not roleplaying a couple and you flirted with her char. Some people just can't figure out how to seperate IC and OOC, and it has nothing to do with being/roleplaying a couple
So yeah, this was just to show that while it very often can go wrong, and I've seen it too, it can work as well, you just have to have the right attitude about it
Re: RP-Relationship discussion - ArmachiA - 07-22-2010
Let's see, as a couple RPing:
Me and Ellion have been together for 5 years. We have never been romantic with each other ICly unless you count the push drag flirting we did in FFXI (6 years ago). Me and him just do not make compatible characters. Also, both of us understand the difference of IC and OOC. His character has dated before, as well and it's really no big deal. We are happy and secure enough in our own relationship to know that RP doesn't equal real.
It's all about how secure you feel about your own relationship, those running around being jealous over character interactions probably aren't all that secure.
Re: RP-Relationship discussion - Kashemia - 07-22-2010
ArmachiA Wrote:It's all about how secure you feel about your own relationship, those running around being jealous over character interactions probably aren't all that secure.
Yeah, that was pretty much what I was trying to say... Except in fewer words <.< That people who get upset over their partner in roleplay will probably get upset no matter if they're roleplaying a relationship or not.
I should start summing up my posts, I always babble so much that I think the point get lost somewhere in there.
Re: RP-Relationship discussion - Monadi - 07-22-2010
Goliam Wrote:Just read this thread. I am now officially terrified of even considering Romance RP.
It sounds like kicking a frigging hive of hornets. That are also covered in bees. That are on fire.
Yeah, seriously. When it goes right, it's really cool because it can be a really defining set of moments for your character development.
When it goes wrong, and not in a pre-planned kind of way? Man, that stuff can permanently eff up friendships and guilds and communities. It's definitely playing with fire. I can't imagine trying that stuff inside a smallish closed group again.
Re: RP-Relationship discussion - Kashemia - 07-22-2010
Heh, well, don't be too scared. I haven't had very many RP relationships, but for those I've had, I'm still very good friends with the "other part". It's not always terrible, you just have to chose your "partner" well... Make sure that you're on the same page, etc.
I'm worried that these threads start sounding like all I do is rp romance <.< I really don't!
Re: RP-Relationship discussion - Monadi - 07-22-2010
ArmachiA Wrote:It's all about how secure you feel about your own relationship, those running around being jealous over character interactions probably aren't all that secure.
This "secure in your own relationship" phenomenon isn't even just applicable to RP, either. I've seen many a couple have blow-up fights over their significant other merely talking to/befriending someone of the opposite sex online, even in non-RP raiding style guilds. Drama seems to follow couples online more often than I'd ever hope. I think the fact that it's roleplay just magnifies it. It's hard for a non-gaming, non-RPing significant other to understand that it's like acting and not acting out.
Re: RP-Relationship discussion - Monadi - 07-22-2010
Kashemia Wrote:I'm worried that these threads start sounding like all I do is rp romance <.< I really don't!
Heh, mine's starting to sound like all I do is complain about RP romance.
I'll be honest and say I am pretty genuinely scared of ever doing one of these again. Y'all have way more balls than I do; one bad experience is enough to make me super wary. I'll never rule it out 100%, but I don't think I'll ever play a character that could be perceived as "available" ever again.
Re: RP-Relationship discussion - Goliam - 07-22-2010
The moral of the story: Get a gamer significant other and brace for HORNETS COVERED IN BEES.
(That are on fire).
Re: RP-Relationship discussion - Kashemia - 07-22-2010
Well, to be completely honest, it's not just online. Drama follow some couples everywhere. I've known people freaking out because their partner had friends of the opposite sex, glanced in the direction of an attractive woman on the street or commented that an actor/actress was pretty.
It does seem to be very common on the internet too though.
And Goliam: Oh yeah, I'm just waiting for hell to break lose personally.
Re: RP-Relationship discussion - Smiling River - 07-22-2010
A baby dies when people mix up OOC and IC.
That being said I know of a few people who started IC relationship and moved on to an OOC one. How does this happen if there is an IC/OOC barrier? No idea. Personally I keep those completely separate, and am slightly irked by people that cross the boundary either way. Be it IC relationship turning OOC, or an OOC relationship influencing IC actions.
During my time in FFXI, I RP'ed 2 serious relationships and a few dates. I was in an RL relationship at the time too, and my gf understood the difference between an online game and reality? lol There really wasn't any competition. I really enjoyed the IC relationships though, they created a bunch of good RP and stories. My character was blind, so I was pretty proud of his prowess xD That is, until a guy started to steal his girl right there in front of him, but I couldn't do anything about it! Good times!
In FFXIV, Mason will start out with an NPC gf. It will be realistic since I'm in complete control of it. Eventually it'll end though, and after that I'd be open to all possibilities regarding IC relationships. As with everything else, it'd need to happen naturally IC. ERP is not for me personally, and I am worried about the OOC/IC boundary when others do it, but ultimately even that is not my business. That boundary better be there when they RP with me though, cause then it becomes my business lol
Re: RP-Relationship discussion - Aveline - 07-22-2010
LOL you could always tell those insecure couples in FFXI by how often they publicly referred to each other by pet names.
"Hey sweetness can you pls cure me?"
"You got it sexy. Good job with that WS."
"How long are we going to xp for before you wanna head up to work on your polearm skill?"
Rest of party: /PUKE
Or you'd just try to have a conversation with someone or make a friendly comment and the guy of the two of them would get all macho and be like "YOU TALKIN' TO MY WOMAN??"
My bf & I love playing games together, but we would probably stab the other if they tried something like the above. Also if I started up an RP romance with Aveline he would probably just endlessly make fun of me for it :X
Re: RP-Relationship discussion - Bear - 07-22-2010
I've always thought about RP romance, but I always make my characters too old, like my last guy was 83 years old, and everyone elses characters were like 20-30, it just doesn't ever work out lol, well... except for hookers hahahaha XD!
Monadi Wrote:When it goes wrong, and not in a pre-planned kind of way? Man, that stuff can permanently eff up friendships and guilds and communities. It's definitely playing with fire. I can't imagine trying that stuff inside a smallish closed group again.
Yeah in my last guild we had some people RP a marriage, and then they split up for some random RP drama (it was really good RP actually) and then every time they would see each other they would squabble in RP; however, after a period of time they started to get really pissed at each other IRL and got a little too involved in their characters, it screwed up their friendship and destroyed our group.
On the other hand, we had another RP marriage between the guild leader and a longterm member and it actually played into everyone's story and it worked out great, really enjoyable.
I don't think RP relationships are always bad, I think it's like 50/50, if people want to get into it I don't mind, just as long as they don't get too involved and let it ruin their friendships IRL, because that messes up everyone's fun
Re: RP-Relationship discussion - Kashemia - 07-22-2010
Aveline Wrote:"Hey sweetness can you pls cure me?"
"You got it sexy. Good job with that WS."
"How long are we going to xp for before you wanna head up to work on your polearm skill?"
Rest of party: /PUKE
*Is so going to start doing that, just to freak out Iroh*
Re: RP-Relationship discussion - Monadi - 07-22-2010
Aveline Wrote:"Hey sweetness can you pls cure me?"
"You got it sexy. Good job with that WS."
Rest of party: /PUKE
Bear Wrote:Yeah in my last guild we had some people RP a marriage, and then they split up for some random RP drama (it was really good RP actually) and then every time they would see each other they would squabble in RP; however, after a period of time they started to get really pissed at each other IRL and got a little too involved in their characters, it screwed up their friendship and destroyed our group.
That's the tough part, because even if you're not playing as the character itself and their emotions aren't your emotions, it's totally easy to come to really care about what happens to that character anyway. When things go wrong for them, it's a lot like watching a close friend get kicked in the nuts, and it's hard not to care, even if it's not a real person.
I suppose the best solution is to play totally unsexy characters.
Though the same problem could pop up just through genuine platonic-style conflict if it gets vicious enough, I expect.
Re: RP-Relationship discussion - Tyriont - 07-22-2010
Goliam Wrote:The moral of the story: Get a gamer significant other and brace for HORNETS COVERED IN BEES.
(That are on fire).
I like my (RP-romance) women like I like my coffee...COVERED IN BEES!
Aveline Wrote:Or you'd just try to have a conversation with someone or make a friendly comment and the guy of the two of them would get all macho and be like "YOU TALKIN' TO MY WOMAN??"
Fun response: "No, I'm talking to mine." Then stand back and watch the fireworks as said guy goes all Internet Tough Guy[size=xx-smal]tm[/size].
It's really easy to say "well, some people just can't keep IC and OOC separate so they suck". Not that anyone's doing that, but it's a common argument. Problem is, we play these characters a lot, RP them a lot. Get inside their heads. Especially those who don't use a lot of alts and just stick with the one character...in a way, they become an extension. It's only natural to feel some sort of "emotional feedback" which can pass over into OOC interactions. The key is to identify them ahead of time and take steps to stop it before friendships are lost, shells ripped aparts and dogs and cats wind up living together.