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+--- Thread: Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall (/showthread.php?tid=9147)
RE: Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall - MikoBehnen - 12-04-2014
I'm new to RP so I'm still worried I'm going to do something wrong, but I'm a huge outgoing dork-wad both in game and out. I also make a super wing-woman for those less so, so I can hang out and randomly drag you into RPs with me if you want ^_^Â
And if anyone sees me running around, feel free to just jump in and start something! I'm learning via practice makes perfect atm so the more interaction the better.
RE: Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall - Enteris - 12-04-2014
I have to say I've run into the same issue as the OP. During our company's hiatus, I made an alt and joined another company. This company is bustling with all sorts of characters that are all wonderful to role play with... but it still feels very clique-y despite my best efforts to become part of the crowd. This is by no means meant to be an attack on that company or its members, but time zone difference means little when even the people that are on while I am on and actively attempting to be an accepted member still seem to prefer their little cliques.
Cliques are an unfortunately natural thing that are hard to avoid forming. Even my company can probably feel clique-y at times despite our best efforts to go out of our ways to rp with and involve every last member.
Another unfortunate truth is that these cliques aren't limited to free companies. "City-wide" cliques are a reality in this community as well. There is an in crowd in each city state that is fairly difficult to get accepted into, despite the friendly attempts made by the members of that clique. Again, not a statement against any members of the community, just a statement of my observations.
It is, of course, on the outsider to put in a fair attempt as well. You only get out of rp and communities as much as you are willing to put in.
As to your issue with your FC, speaking to leaders is indeed a good idea to attempt to see what can be done. However, I wouldn't recommend going into the conversation expecting the leaders to be willing to rearrange the entire company schedule to accommodate you. Put bluntly, without trying to be rude, if you join a company knowing full well that their timezones don't match up with yours... you have little room to complain. (Please note that is a general "you", not speaking to any specific person.) It would be rather nice for the company to accommodate you, but unrealistic and unfair to expect them to.
Edit: side note: autocorrect on a phone can be very annoying when typing a post of this size.
RE: Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall - Steel Wolf - 12-04-2014
(12-04-2014, 12:08 PM)Enteris Wrote: -really good stuff n' things that I'm snipping here for brevity's sake-
Wow, you did ALL THAT on a cellphone?! Gods love ya. My fat thumbs could never manage that.
I have large paws.
I would never assume an ENTIRE established FC would mold themselves around my schedule--that'd be just...pretty bloody arrogant of me, honestly. In my defense, I had no idea there would be a schedule conflict until I had posted and mentioned my schedule and stacked it against the calendar of events.
Be that as it may...getting myself out and about on the times I AM around seems the most obvious solution to this whole thing. Bee Gees backing track optional. I'm gonna have to plug my nose and jump into the deep end of the adult pool at one point or the other, I suppose.
RE: Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall - Gegenji - 12-04-2014
(12-04-2014, 12:23 PM)Steel Wolf Wrote: Be that as it may...getting myself out and about on the times I AM around seems the most obvious solution to this whole thing. Â Bee Gees backing track optional. Â I'm gonna have to plug my nose and jump into the deep end of the adult pool at one point or the other, I suppose.
It still scares me to do that sometimes, so don't feel bad if you get nervous about doing it.
Also, sometimes just doing oddball things will draw people in. I got into a... rather amusing RP recently just from having Chachan running around the Quicksand like a dork. High-strung dude who wanted to be a 'Sworn flipped and was shouting about how the Lala would trip and bust his head open and die... or trip up someone else with similar results.
It was both goofy and entertaining that Chachan was the straight man in the situation.
RE: Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall - Verad - 12-04-2014
At what point does one feel like they are "in" rather than "outside" when it comes to RP? What's the criteria for being "in"? And does anyone ever specifically define themselves as being part of a clique, or is that something that other people do for them?
RE: Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall - Warren Castille - 12-04-2014
(12-04-2014, 03:09 PM)Verad Wrote: At what point does one feel like they are "in" rather than "outside" when it comes to RP? What's the criteria for being "in"? And does anyone ever specifically define themselves as being part of a clique, or is that something that other people do for them?
I can only answer the first one and a half questions, but I think you're "inside" when you've got all the RP you could ask for and "outside" when you want to RP and have no catalyst or source for it.
Edit to answer the last part: Generally speaking, if you're known for hanging out with a group of more than two people, you can safely expect observers to consider you being in a clique. To those being observed, it's closer to being amongst friends.
RE: Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall - Gegenji - 12-04-2014
I was expecting a Burger King style paper crown and explosion of confetti once I made it "in." I am sure to be disappointed.
RE: Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall - Steel Wolf - 12-04-2014
(12-04-2014, 03:13 PM)Warren Castille Wrote:(12-04-2014, 03:09 PM)Verad Wrote: At what point does one feel like they are "in" rather than "outside" when it comes to RP? What's the criteria for being "in"? And does anyone ever specifically define themselves as being part of a clique, or is that something that other people do for them?
I can only answer the first one and a half questions, but I think you're "inside" when you've got all the RP you could ask for and "outside" when you want to RP and have no catalyst or source for it.
Bingo.
It's all a completely personal perceptual sort of thing. And rather nutbar as well, I will be the first to admit.
it's not a feeling I find easy to shake, though, as nutbar as the feeling sounds. So I'm not sure I'm explaining myself terribly well, but...yea. It's a matter of perceived inclusion to conversations, stories and adventures with others in the game's space--adventures that involve more emotional and imaginative involvement beyond "Hop in to the Duty Finder", anyways.
RE: Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall - Melkire - 12-04-2014
(12-04-2014, 03:09 PM)Verad Wrote: At what point does one feel like they are "in" rather than "outside" when it comes to RP? What's the criteria for being "in"? And does anyone ever specifically define themselves as being part of a clique, or is that something that other people do for them?
Personally, it's nowhere near the forefront of my mind whether I'm "in" or "out" or if I'm part of a "clique" until I see/overhear discussions such as these. Then I start examining where I'm at in terms of contacts, potential sources of RP, etc., and how often I'm in touch or out of touch with strangers, and it's only then that I go "oh, I'm probably in a clique... well shit, now I feel bad" despite there being no rational reason for getting down on myself.
Until someone cries "clique!", the only distinction in the forefront of my mind is, "how much roleplaying have I been doing lately?" To be brutally honest, yes, cliques and cliquish behavior can be a problem, but the whole concept of "cliques" can also be an awful excuse for one's own inability to break out of their comfort zone and into a larger community.
Case in point, I'm not as comfortable hanging around the Quicksand as I once was, mainly because I don't recognize most of the people I see in there these days. That's an example of my personal "comfort zone" keeping me from interacting with folks I don't know. I'm not going to blame that on the "clique" I'm in, or the "cliques" of the folks that hang in the Quicksand. I'm going to blame that on myself and my refusal to actually go chat with other folks.
RE: Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall - Steel Wolf - 12-04-2014
(12-04-2014, 03:19 PM)Melkire Wrote: Personally, it's nowhere near the forefront of my mind whether I'm "in" or "out" or if I'm part of a "clique" until I see/overhear discussions such as these. Then I start examining where I'm at in terms of contacts, potential sources of RP, etc., and how often I'm in touch or out of touch with strangers, and it's only then that I go "oh, I'm probably in a clique... well shit, now I feel bad" despite there being no rational reason for getting down on myself.
...which reminds me, moar clarification--I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad here. Far from my intent. :c More advice on how to break out of my own shell, because I agree, the thought or concept of cliques being a thing needs to be torn down by me and my own insecurities.
(12-04-2014, 03:19 PM)Melkire Wrote: Until someone cries "clique!", the only distinction in the forefront of my mind is, "how much roleplaying have I been doing lately?" To be brutally honest, yes, cliques and cliquish behavior can be a problem, but the whole concept of "cliques" can also be an awful excuse for one's own inability to break out of their comfort zone and into a larger community.
Precisely.
I WANT to get out of my little rut and was asking for advice on how to do just that. I would love for my own perceptual nonsense to be washed off. I wanna work on that.
Figure asking folks is one of the first and best steps.
Again, not wanting to make people feel bad or guilty or anything like that. Just...this all looks like fun. Wolfy wanna play too. :3
RE: Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall - Gegenji - 12-04-2014
(12-04-2014, 03:25 PM)Steel Wolf Wrote: Again, not wanting to make people feel bad or guilty or anything like that. Â Just...this all looks like fun. Â Wolfy wanna play too. :3
If it's any consolation, I'd totally be up for playing with you if we can stumble across each other in-game. I can bring Gran, too!
RE: Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall - Kage - 12-04-2014
Honestly, other than just going out there and not giving a damn about how it works out there's not much 'advice' people can give you.
Try going into the Quicksand once a day. pick one person to talk to and RP with. I can guarantee one person might be sitting by themselves at a table or on their lonesome at the railing. Maybe strike up a conversation with someone at the bar stools.
RE: Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall - Verad - 12-04-2014
(12-04-2014, 03:25 PM)Steel Wolf Wrote: Precisely.
I WANT to get out of my little rut and was asking for advice on how to do just that. Â I would love for my own perceptual nonsense to be washed off. Â I wanna work on that. Â
Figure asking folks is one of the first and best steps.
Again, not wanting to make people feel bad or guilty or anything like that. Â Just...this all looks like fun. Â Wolfy wanna play too. :3
This is all fine, of course, and my questions were meant more in a general philosophical sense than to undermine your own interests. People discuss the issue of "cliques" and cliqueishness, of being inside and outside, and it does, as you indicate, often appear to be a perceptual problem. There are times that I do not feel particularly "in" despite all evidence to the contrary, so I know it can occur.
As for your situation, short of the obligatory "show up at the Quicksand and do not run from the old Duskwight selling junk to you" recommendation, does your character have any short-term goals that you could use as a motivator to approach strangers?
RE: Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall - Steel Wolf - 12-04-2014
(12-04-2014, 03:38 PM)Verad Wrote: As for your situation, short of the obligatory "show up at the Quicksand and do not run from the old Duskwight selling junk to you" recommendation, does your character have any short-term goals that you could use as a motivator to approach strangers?
...that's actually a great angle. Thank you for that.
Well...she's basically a sellsword/ronin of a sort. She's always willing to learn more about her burgeoning martial skill with the axe and the means of its use. Also, she has same axe to grind against Garleans for the death of her husband at Carteneau, so anyone willing to chop Castrum faces should look her up.
Otherwise, any odd jobs needed...that don't require a great deal of finesse and caution. She's bad at cloak and dagger stuff. Being about 8 fulms tall makes that hard.
RE: Kool-Aid Man'ing Through the Clique Wall - Gegenji - 12-04-2014
(12-04-2014, 03:53 PM)Steel Wolf Wrote: Otherwise, any odd jobs needed...that don't require a great deal of finesse and caution. Â She's bad at cloak and dagger stuff. Â Being about 8 fulms tall makes that hard.
What about babysitting precocious purple porkers?