Hydaelyn Role-Players
Marriage: How do you handle it? - Printable Version

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RE: Marriage: How do you handle it? - ArmachiA - 05-19-2015

I've been RPing for a really long time and I've never actually gotten married ICly. I argued to death about why I thought it would be boring or it wouldn't work because there could be drama, or your partner could quit the game, or you one could get busy and then what?

But a bunch of people went "DON'T KNOCK IT TILL YOU TRIED IT." at me and I told them I'd be willing to give it a shot in this game if it ever came up. Begrudgingly.

That being said, I've considered having Armi starting to be open to do weddings. Technically, she's still a priestess, she never officially resigned, and still has the power a priestess holds. Plus, she's a bard. Since she's a very open person who is very into Love for Love's sake, I could see her officiating weddings of the interracial kind on the sly. It would be legal and binding, she's still a priestess after all!

But... there wasn't much lore - and still isn't alas - on worship and followers of the Twelve (Nymeia, specifically), so it's mostly stayed a consideration. I think it may be lore bend-y enough to work but who knows.

RE: Marriage: How do you handle it? - Shofie - 05-19-2015

Shofie is eternally bonded to a fellow miqo'te, and while for all intents and purposes what they have is a marriage, it's not technically a marriage. Since they're both miqo'te, but both have been raised in very non-traditional settings, they eschew the whole typical miqo'te lifestyle thing and more or less try to blend in with the city life. For them, their bond translates to a sense of utter devotion to one another.

Having said that, I have no qualms about people who want to rp marriage, or even marrying a miqo'te, though I do think of all the current races in the game, miqo'te would be the least likely to agree to an actual marriage, considering their cultural beliefs. I'm sure, however, that a miqo'te with enough motivation would agree to marriage.

I do feel like certain races would be unlikely to get married, but in roleplay, anything is within the realm of possibility.

RE: Marriage: How do you handle it? - Manari - 05-19-2015

Manari keeps hearing that term "marriage". Of course she is very traditional, so it's a very alien concept to her. She understands that it's something most of Eorzea does when two people really want to be together. She just doesn't understand what getting married changes. She's managed to wrap her head around why other people might want just one other person and the two of them never have any other mates, she just doesn't quite understand why those two people have to go do something called "get married". Can't they be together anyway?

RE: Marriage: How do you handle it? - Nako Vesh - 05-19-2015

(05-19-2015, 03:44 PM)Manari Wrote: Manari keeps hearing that term "marriage".  Of course she is very traditional, so it's a very alien concept to her.  She understands that it's something most of Eorzea does when two people really want to be together.  She just doesn't understand what getting married changes.  She's managed to wrap her head around why other people might want just one other person and the two of them never have any other mates, she just doesn't quite understand why those two people have to go do something called "get married".  Can't they be together anyway?

This is pretty much how Nako views marriage. She's only just attempting to comprehend the idea of monogamy.

RE: Marriage: How do you handle it? - Dogberry - 05-19-2015

Marriage is very easy, even in Eorzea.

Here's how it works. If you and your partner have a conflict of interests, you come to them lovingly, with an open and honest dialogue about what it is you need and want from the situation, and are willing to work with them to bring about a peaceful and harmonious compromise.

And then once you've done that you give in and do whatever they say because holy shit it's just easier that way.

RE: Marriage: How do you handle it? - Chris Ganale - 05-19-2015

(05-19-2015, 04:37 PM)Dogberry Wrote: And then once you've done that you give in and do whatever they say because holy shit it's just easier that way.

Quoted for truth.

RE: Marriage: How do you handle it? - Flickering Ember - 05-19-2015

(05-18-2015, 03:21 PM)Kismet Wrote: I take Eternal Bonding to be interchangeable with marriage both IC and OOC, because I'm pretty sure SE just called it that to get the homophobes to pipe down.

I came in here to say exactly this. I'm a little confused on why people wouldn't think Eternal Bond is marriage. SE straight up said that they were adding in a wedding system but then double backed and insisted it wasn't a wedding. (Painfully obviously to not offend folks who stand by old fashioned 'traditions.') I guess people might get the idea that it might not be a wedding due to SE's statements on it/the fact that a moogle says s/he doesn't have any real authority. However, I truly believe 100% these statements were meant to be appease those who are anti-gay marriage.

As for name changing, I believe that roegadyns at least are patriarchal. I don't think there is much evidence either way for the other races but I admittedly have not looked much into it. I feel like players bring in what they are used to in regards to name changing. (IE: 80-90% of women changing their last name to their husband's irl) Though, if I had to make a guess, Eorzea probably is generally patriarchal. (FFXIV generally seems to want to have Eorzea be a more 'equal' world but without stepping over a few of the traditional gender norms that society has not yet abandoned.)

RE: Marriage: How do you handle it? - Ilwe'ran - 05-20-2015

Going to share this : http://xivdb.com/?quest/67114/The-Ties-that-Bind click on dialogue you will see the whole dialogue of the quest which is all about love. This actually makes me thinking that it's more like a wedding than something which tie two people together regardless of their feeling for each others.
Though, when you select your ceremony type, you have access to 3 different sorts of ceremony : Lover's Kiss, Spinner's Hand, or Solemn Oath, the text as well as the NPC hosting those (Mogs, Elezen or Hyur) are completely different and I believe they hold some different purpose as well.
While the Lover Kiss seems to be like any classical marriage, the two others give some different vibes, particularly the last one which consists to sign a book together to seal a pact.


We do know that racisms is really present when it comes to this game, as well as what is shared about Ul'dah's classes is clearly showed during the Weaver quest where you help a miner to seduce an important merchant's daughter (remember what says that oh so annoying guy who tries to hit her, he explains that their parents will have an accord so they would get married).

Now how it should be when it comes to character ? I do think it's only up to your own feelings. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if X will decide that it will be a wedding IC while Y will consider it as a promise give to their brother in arms and Z doesn't acknowledge it as something IC. As for changing name ? It's up to you, we know few about the traditions on this side. What matters is only what it means to you and how happy it will make you feel. Your memories and feelings are way more important than how other people see that ceremony and anyway, the lore and the way the 3 ceremonies are done can help you to manage it IC, you could even add some discourse coming from another RPer to have a special ceremony during the 20mn of the reception. Why not after all ? The only limit is what you want to do, not really some game quests or even lore Wink !