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+--- Thread: RP-Relationship discussion (/showthread.php?tid=280)
Re: RP-Relationship discussion - Eva - 07-22-2010
Ironic that this thread pops up on today's date...
I can write a very interesting novel, outlining the events of my life between August of 2005 and September of 2007. It's strange how two years of anger and resentment took probably about the same length of time to overcome after the endpoint. I would be upset about losing four years of my life, if not for the fact that I learned some extraordinarily valuable lessons.
Most of Sylph from FFXI knows all about this awful story, so I'll try to keep it brief, relevent, avoid naming any specific individuals, and I'll try to keep it relatively QQ-free. I might wind up going into more detail if there's an RPCV episode dedicated to the topic, which I know has been discussed.
I may at one time have been regarded as the jealous boyfriend type. I had issues in a prior relationship which left me insecure. But I did get involved OOCly with a character's love interest. After an extended friendship a couple of meetings, and countless hours of long-distance cell phone bill-rackage, I decided to move 1600 miles away from everything I knew on a leap of faith. The fact is the girl I had fallen for had greatly misrepresented herself, and if I wasn't so lovestruck I probably would have seen the warning signs even before I moved out there.
We had decided to maintain the RP romance, which had turned to a RP marriage by that point. It wasn't long before the problems manifested themselves. I trusted her, but I wasn't thrilled about some of the stuff she was RPing, and expressed this to her. Long story short, she turned out to be immature and a compulsive liar. I got burned by her, a couple people whom I considered online friends, and a flatmate who was at that time my best friend. There's more to it than that, but that's really the gist of it.
I've found a new relationship now, much closer to home. I'm not hopeful that she'll be a RPer with us (but it still remains to be seen, she did roll up a miqo'te the other night!). I've resolved that in all probability, I'm not going to do any relationship RP with Eva. Honestly, that was a large part of the allure of making a female character. Her storyline leaves off in such a way that she's more or less a widow, and while the possibility may be out there to do something lighthearted with it later on, it's going to depend on what I'm comfortable with, and how my RL girlfriend would feel about it. I do hope to have many IC friendships though.
I can't speak as to how people in RL relationships should RP their relationships. That should be up to them. But I will say that both parties involved should be in agreement and comfortable with the process, otherwise [melo]drama will almost certainly ensue.
Re: RP-Relationship discussion - Monadi - 07-22-2010
Eva Wrote:Eva's story
That is so tough and my heart aches hearing about such a thing happening. One of the worst things that can happen is when someone misrepresents him or herself online like that. It's terrible how our emotions can really get the best of us and make us blind to the danger signs, but that can happen in real life as well.
Re: RP-Relationship discussion - ArmachiA - 07-22-2010
Off Topic, but, you're a guy!?
Re: RP-Relationship discussion - Ellion Goto - 07-22-2010
ArmachiA Wrote:Monadi Wrote:Long story is long.
This sounds like something simuliar that happened to me, but I was on the other side. Also long response is long.
That's quite the similar stories for sure. I remember that scenario Armi. From what I remember we had some serious lack of communication situations within the guild as a whole. Probably due to unfamiliarity with each other but these things tend to happen. I think to be specific I remember my character being angry at both Armi's and the girl's male character for silly decisions made. My character was actually more annoyed with Armi's character than the girl's male character. Ellion actually got along with the male up until an event decision was made by that character that Ellion just completely didn't agree with. At this point he grew a distaste for the character which was all before Armi and the male character hit their crazy, weird relationship pew pew. So add in that relationship failure to the already existing rivalry that was building and that girl's male character had quite the chip on their shoulders I'm sure. However, since I have more RP time with Armi by default, those areas got explored by her character and not so much by the male character. So a heated tension built up between Ellion and GirlGuy (as I've grown to call him) and at one point I remember me asking if it was alright if my character could slug the girl's male one. The agreement was made and the outburst commenced! It was quite the Soap Opera overall. However the girl assumed that Ellion was against GirlGuy because I'm affiliated with Armi irl. Not really the case, because one thing to note, "you should always leave your RP shoes at the door when you're done." She just needed to RP with Ellion more to find out why. This is why communication between guilds/families is oh so important, and we must all understand that it requires a friendly atmosphere to be comfortable. We must be open with each other about what we want/intend and it gives an idea of where to go. But Armi and the girl never really resolved any of their issues because of lack of communication and theorycrafting for lack of a better term. It's a shame when sides are taken just because, with no justification other than "it's my friend so there" scenarios, so I feel for you if that happened.
And also, to be fair, the game itself was not very conducive to open-ended RP. It was strict in storyline that just kinda wedged characters to a certain setting. Not very fun to create a story around let me tell you.
As far as acceptance of videogame relationships go. Me and Armi are in a relationship, I have no problem with one of her characters knockin' boots with some other character because it's a videogame.It's a story in a fictitious universe involving people that's not really her, regardless of how much of her personality is put into it. Simply because who cares. It's a character.
Re: RP-Relationship discussion - Eva - 07-22-2010
Monadi Wrote:That is so tough and my heart aches hearing about such a thing happening. One of the worst things that can happen is when someone misrepresents him or herself online like that. It's terrible how our emotions can really get the best of us and make us blind to the danger signs, but that can happen in real life as well.Thanks. I do have a lot of memories from those days, both in RL and from the game, which I still treasure. I like to think that she was a good person who was just confused about who she was and what she wanted out of life. Everyone has their own story, and I know she had some issues of her own, and to some extent I know why, but it doesn't excuse what was done.
Armi Wrote:Off Topic, but, you're a guy!?I've never really been secretive about this: <!-- l --><a class="postlink-local" href="http://www.ffxiv-roleplayers.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=61">viewtopic.php?f=12&t=61</a><!-- l -->
You'll hear my less-than-feminine voice on RPCV podcast episode 4 whenever it gets uploaded. I guess I don't advertise the fact as much since I think people will view the character differently - which is not what I want.
Re: RP-Relationship discussion - ArmachiA - 07-22-2010
Actually I completely thought you were a girl, which makes me believe you'll probably be one of the better RPers
And even if Drama happens in guilds (Which it does, I've been in my fair share, or in the middle of my fair share XD) It's good to hold on to the GOOD memories, so, after some time has past, amends can be made. I'm not a believer in holding grudges.
Re: RP-Relationship discussion - Eva - 07-22-2010
While I wouldn't necessarily say I hold any grudges, there are a few people out there I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire...
Re: RP-Relationship discussion - ArmachiA - 07-22-2010
I used to think that about my exhusband... but now, well I wouldn't piss on him, but I'd certianly be willing to find a hose.
(He's on the forums and in my guild, sup Ex?
)
Re: RP-Relationship discussion - Tyme - 07-22-2010
I wasn't in a role play ls when I played FFXI but about 3-4 years after I had started the game, I found out everyone thought I was a girl... even people who I had told I was a guy when I started...
Re: RP-Relationship discussion - Eva - 07-22-2010
You're probably a better person than I am, Armi. I'm a lot more cyncial and jaded than I used to be. There are a few people here 'from those days' who've wronged me and I will be civil to them, but I have no desire to RP with any of them. I would say it's nothing personal... but, it kinda is...
Re: RP-Relationship discussion - Ellion Goto - 07-22-2010
Eva Wrote:You're probably a better person than I am, Armi. I'm a lot more cyncial and jaded than I used to be. There are a few people here 'from those days' who've wronged me and I will be civil to them, but I have no desire to RP with any of them. I would say it's nothing personal... but, it kinda is...
I share this concept with you Eva. Armi has told me though that there really is no point to it and that people change and she's right.
[size=xx-smal]but it doesn't mean I have to oblige them.[/size]
Re: RP-Relationship discussion - ArmachiA - 07-22-2010
^lawl.
I don't consider myself better or worse than anyone, just... well, I've made my share of mistakes and certainly don't want anyone holding on to a grudge about me. Even if they made mistakes too, I'm willing to get past it and talk about it (You know, after the initial yelling fit
)I really just treat people how I want to be treated. We are flawed beings. I'm willing to own up to my mistakes and apologize for them, I can only hope that the person who wronged me (And whom I've wronged) will someday want to do the same.
Re: RP-Relationship discussion - Monadi - 07-22-2010
Eva Wrote:You're probably a better person than I am, Armi. I'm a lot more cyncial and jaded than I used to be. There are a few people here 'from those days' who've wronged me and I will be civil to them, but I have no desire to RP with any of them. I would say it's nothing personal... but, it kinda is...
Ditto on that. Though I would actually probably help someone who'd wronged me if they needed it (with water, not piss), because... well at the end of the day no one's perfect, I would seriously never ever trust them again when it comes to roleplay. RP is my hobby and it shall not be trifled with.
Re: RP-Relationship discussion - Gavriel - 07-22-2010
ArmachiA Wrote:I used to think that about my exhusband... but now, well I wouldn't piss on him, but I'd certianly be willing to find a hose.
(He's on the forums and in my guild, sup Ex?
ewff.
Anyway, besides my creepy encounters with lonely middle-aged women who constantly tried to rape my chracter in EQII, there was one who was different. She was the one who first introduced me to the Guild (The Vagabond Knights). Both of us played orphaned Wood Elves, so our characters were naturally drawn to each other and became good friends. As a result, we ended up becoming good friends. Almost every day we would do something together for a few hours. Generally this involved finishing a few quests and then going to some very scenic spot to just chat OOC about life.
I started to think she had developed a little OOC crush on me. Of course, I had a little OOC crush on her as well. Nothing too crazy or anything. I just really enjoyed her company (and of course her wood elf bewbs were hot! ...kidding). Eventually I found out that her husband was also in the Guild. He started to get a little jealous of me I think (they were both in their early twenties by the way). After a while they both started logging in less and less.
Anyway, I haven't seen this girl in a few years. I've always wanted to know where she got off to. Does she even still do role-playing? I have no idea.
Windsoar!
Where are yoooouuuu!
Re: RP-Relationship discussion - Goliam - 07-22-2010
Monadi Wrote:Eva Wrote:You're probably a better person than I am, Armi. I'm a lot more cyncial and jaded than I used to be. There are a few people here 'from those days' who've wronged me and I will be civil to them, but I have no desire to RP with any of them. I would say it's nothing personal... but, it kinda is...
Ditto on that. Though I would actually probably help someone who'd wronged me if they needed it (with water, not piss), because... well at the end of the day no one's perfect, I would seriously never ever trust them again when it comes to roleplay. RP is my hobby and it shall not be trifled with.
You ruffle my feathers enough, you don't get piss. You get piss & pitch. Though Ive long decided that looking for troubles just not the way to do things.
Still, the only people who really get on my bad side are those who take things like way, way too seriously. Taking RP/Playing seriously is fine and all but, Salsa dancing jesus, some of the stories here are just...
Well worrying.