Hydaelyn Role-Players
If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Printable Version

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+--- Thread: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. (/showthread.php?tid=11586)

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RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - TheLastCandle - 05-13-2015

(05-13-2015, 11:08 AM)Alothia Wrote:
(05-13-2015, 11:03 AM)TheLastCandle Wrote: I'm not even sure how to respond to the implication that there's a Tumblr hive mind. So.. I won't. 

I apologize if it comes off as if I meant there's a Tumblr hive mind.

I just meant that in general, we, as people, tend to have a hive mind sometimes. It doesn't matter where it is. We follow where we see there are people, we agree with people because other people agree with them. It happens anywhere. It's just an aspect of human behavior. Sure, there are those people who don't go along, but I think there's an overwhelming majority that will follow the leader, no matter what the venue is. That's all I was trying to say. Smile

And I tend to think that "following the leader" is much more common when you actually have leaders: those names highlighted in blue, for example. Or people with several thousand posts despite only having been active for a year or so. (Not knocking it, mind you - just sayin'. Y'all post a lot, people probably notice that ever-increasing number beneath your avatar.) I still don't see anything that bespeaks a "hive mentality" and I guess I have a little more faith in people in general having the ability to form their own opinions on matters. -chuckles- Silly Candle, go home.

RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Cato - 05-13-2015

(05-13-2015, 11:16 AM)allgivenover Wrote:
(05-13-2015, 10:40 AM)Graeham Ridgefield Wrote: So you've never:

- Complained about a teacher behind their back when they gave you homework
- Expressed exasperation over the behaviour/attitude of a friend/colleague
- Confided in a friend your frustration towards something a relative/partner has done
- Received a perceived dirty look from a stranger and then mentioned it to someone else later in the day

Of course I have. None of these behaviors are shit talking.

This is shit talking:

Graeham is probably just another yaoi obsessed girl roleplaying a "bisexual" guy in an eye rolling way. You know that way where you can tell the person has never been in an IRL relationship before and you can just tell? Her only saving grace is that Graeham isn't Miqo'te.

THAT is shit talking. It's subjective mean spirited opinion that doesn't even care about the truth. Also please note I don't think any of this. It's just an on the fly arbitrary example.

This is not shit talking:

Graeham made a post that conflates telling a friend about a dirty look as shit talking. I think that's way off the mark. It's kind of irritating that people think my public disagreements and opinions about how role play should be means that I must participate in the same closed door private shit talking they all do.

I was more referring to the fact that pretty much everyone has done it at some point whether knowingly or not and that there's varying degrees ranging from harmless to harmful.

RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Blue - 05-13-2015

(05-13-2015, 11:27 AM)Graeham Ridgefield Wrote: I was more referring to the fact that pretty much everyone has done it at some point whether knowingly or not and that there's varying degrees ranging from harmless to harmful.

Agreed. I disagree with the "public" part, but often times, venting privately to a friend about someone or something actually has a beneficial effect on our stress, it makes us less angry. When I get frustrated with someone, I usually talk about it with a friend in private, we bitch a bit, make fun of it/him/her, and the day after I'm good with that person like nothing had happened. Had I not done it, maybe I would still be cranky, and maybe I would've decided to confront that person directly and turned a worthless, small argument into an endless drama that could have caused a lot more harm to both me and him/her than it was worth.

Here in Italy we have a saying that was passed over by our sailors: "Decrease our salary, but let us complain." Big Grin It's basically my philosophy of life lol, those who know me know that 99% of the time I speak up, I do it to complain about something. It's not that I hate life, I just have much more fun complaining about it! (And I'm not the only one, go down the streets and you'll more often hear people complain about the weather, their boss, their partner, their mother-in-law, rather than commenting on what a beautiful day it is. Complaint is scientifically more pleasant than talking of happy things is, that's why we have satire entertainment too!)

I'm derailing from the topic so here's my tl;dr: Venting is fine, shaming is not. Keep it in private with people you trust.

RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - McBeefâ„¢ - 05-13-2015

I'm gonna shun you so hard otto.

For being such a meanie pants.

I'm triggered.

Reblogging this.

(Is meanie pants an insult that will give me a warning? Time to find out.)

RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Hammersmith - 05-13-2015

I've got too much experience with people who actively leech the resources and support of a community and then shit-talk it in every other arena.

Fuck those guys.

RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - OttoVann - 05-13-2015

(05-13-2015, 11:58 AM)Natalie Mcbeef Wrote: I'm gonna shun you so hard otto.

For being such a meanie pants.

I'm triggered.

Reblogging this.

(Is meanie pants an insult that will give me a warning? Time to find out.)

You'll be back. All I need to do is take my shirt off.


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RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Nebbs - 05-13-2015

OMG are you still going on about this? 

Lock it now before it implodes the forum in a .. lost the plot black hole

RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Unnamed Mercenary - 05-13-2015

(05-13-2015, 12:17 PM)Nebbs Wrote: OMG are you still going on about this? 

Lock it now before it implodes the forum in a .. lost the plot black hole

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RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Alothia - 05-13-2015

If we're going to keep it open, we should get back on track. But if everyone has said their peace, then let it die. ^^

RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Kellach Woods - 05-13-2015

The best part about staying relatively unknown in most RP circles is that I'm not involved in stuff like that. I have a tumblr, but I don't really follow much of anyone and barely post on it. It's there if I want to use it for stuff and follow other people.

As such, I'm not seeing most of the negativity unless directly linked to it.

I personally don't see why stirring shit up is so gratifying, and I don't see how ANYONE can reasonably think that this kind of stuff won't get traced back to them. I mean you have a character blog MAYBE THE PERSON MAINTAINING THAT BLOG IS THE SAME AS THE PERSON WHO PLAYS THAT CHARACTER.

RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Enteris - 05-13-2015

(05-13-2015, 09:56 AM)LiadansWhisper Wrote:
(05-13-2015, 09:52 AM)Unnamed Mercenary Wrote: I think it's because a of a recent influx of people trying to say "this is my personal blog/diary/journal" to get away with "PSA: I THINK THIS PERSON IS BAD AND EVERYONE SHOULD HATE AND AVOID THAT PERSON TOO!" posts. ...it's not a personal piece of writing when it's literally being used to promote negative behavior. ...We're all adults (or close enough in the border cases) to know how to be respectable people. I don't see the need to publicly post something that will be forever indexed and searchable (by let's just say Google for speed) forever.

I'll admit that I've seen a lot of what I can only call witch hunts (sorry, but it applies) wherein a person is accused of something fairly awful, and while there is no proof, they are essentially labeled the antichrist, with people exhorting others to publicly shun them, etc.

It's one reason why I avoid Tumblr in general (tho I have an account there), and why I tend to look at people who are seriously into Tumblr with a squinty eyes.  I know there are many people on Tumblr who are nothing like that, but it's really hard to tell just in general.
I actually had this happen to me back in the beginning times of Path of Oschon. Former members apparently felt I treated them unfairly in regards to a number of things and decided to rant about it on their tumblrs... Stating things such as avoid Path of Oschon, the leader Raandal Bennett, his wife Daphine Rysen, etc. etc.... Then a bunch of their tumblr buddies decided to raise their pitchforks and "spread the word".

I was called things like masogynistic because I told my wife to "go make me a sammich, woman!" In /fc chat. Even though these members had direct interaction with one of my characters that was a very empowered and strong woman in a position of power. But, you know, playing around with my -wife- in fc chat was a big no no. 

Apparently I was also making fun of their characters and the like. Very anti-gay (their words), even though I have male and female characters that delve in such activities.

Blah blah blah. At the end of the day, it doesn't really bother me because they're faceless names to me that are just looking for a reason to be offended/upset. I have no quantifiable proof that what they did effected our recruitment in one way or another and, honestly, I don't care because the people we DID get into the company were great and many wonderful memories were had.

The biggest thing that bothered me, really, was the fact that they never once took the time to talk to me (or my wife) about the issues they had.... that were apparently building up over weeks to months.... and instead opted to write their rant on tumblr.

At the end of the day... I moved on. This is still in my mind, not because it bothers me, but because it's ridiculous how, for lack of a better term, silly people can be. Like I said, even with them doing this I still had great times and wonderful memories made with all of the people that did join and interact with our company.

Tl;dr: I, and my wife and company, have been the target of one of these "witch hunts". It's easy enough to just shake it off and move on knowing full well that the silly people are only hurting themselves by missing out on the great times I personally had.

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RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Seye Qhesu - 05-13-2015

My two gil. Quick and simple.

No one should ever try and tell another they don't belong somewhere. If people are venting about the RPC off site then I say let them. If they are venting about people from the site off site then let them. Even if they are talking about me I wouldn't care. If they need to vent I say let them. If they trash talk someone or something on a site and not to their face then it shows their character.

RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - g0ne - 05-13-2015

Okay, let's all be honest here. We're humans. We're prone to feeling negative emotions and letting it get to us. It happens. 

But the best thing you can do, and this is more beneficial to you than anyone else, is to just let it go. Forget it. Done. You can vent about it and ponder over it, and then let it go. Or just simply go 'meh, whatever' and let it go. If it really gets to you, maybe vent to someone really close, and then let it go. 

I'm referring to people who get bashed on. I won't refer to people who like posting negative stuff (I don't know who or why, like I said, I don't even know what created this thread). For those who get hurt or are targets, just forget it. Forget it and move on. There will always be people who will have problems with you. It's best to just take a deep breath, get it out of your heart and mind, and move on. 

I know it's easier said than done, but once you do it, you'll feel better. And that matters. You have control over yourself only. So keep yourself happy and calm, and everything else will be just fine.

What others do is their problem and their business to handle. Not yours. Even if there are people who are against you, there will always be people who are fond of you. Hold your loved ones and true friends and good people close. If you have them, and they know you, doesn't matter what others think. 

Smile

My two SMILE gil.

RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Kage - 05-13-2015

I'm just thinking about "call-out culture" and then thinking about several things that tumblr/INTERNET~ had that just goes to show how shit spirals

1) X-kit guy
2) Joss Whedon and his twitter move
3) That Australian guy who was pictured, shared on Facebook, and labeled a creep because a mom thought he was taking pictures of her kids when he was just trying to be 'cool' for his kids and take a selfie with a cardboard cutout of Darth Vader on May 4

RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - D'aito Kuji - 05-13-2015

(05-13-2015, 03:21 AM)Clover Wrote: I use Tumblr on a daily basis, and I must say that I never notice any drama. Granted, I can't check every single entry from the FFXIV tag, but still, I don't understand where the idea that Tumblr is a dramafest for immature people came from (?_?)
Most of the things I see are people posting screenshots and having fun.

As for this case in particular, I can't comment because I don't know what it's about.

I usually come here to see the drama.