Hydaelyn Role-Players
If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Printable Version

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RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - McBeefâ„¢ - 05-13-2015

(05-13-2015, 12:55 PM)Eleni Wrote: Okay, let's all be honest here. We're humans. We're prone to feeling negative emotions and letting it get to us. It happens. 

But the best thing you can do, and this is more beneficial to you than anyone else, is to just let it go. Forget it. Done. You can vent about it and ponder over it, and then let it go. Or just simply go 'meh, whatever' and let it go. If it really gets to you, maybe vent to someone really close, and then let it go. 

I'm referring to people who get bashed on. I won't refer to people who like posting negative stuff (I don't know who or why, like I said, I don't even know what created this thread). For those who get hurt or are targets, just forget it. Forget it and move on. There will always be people who will have problems with you. It's best to just take a deep breath, get it out of your heart and mind, and move on. 

I know it's easier said than done, but once you do it, you'll feel better. And that matters. You have control over yourself only. So keep yourself happy and calm, and everything else will be just fine.

What others do is their problem and their business to handle. Not yours. Even if there are people who are against you, there will always be people who are fond of you. Hold your loved ones and true friends and good people close. If you have them, and they know you, doesn't matter what others think. 

Smile

My two SMILE gil.

Sorry but the answer to toxic/damaging behavior should never just be to 'suck it up'. If people are acting poorly and it affects myself and communities I enjoy, I'm going to try and figure out how to stop it, or remove its influence.

Maybe it can't be stopped, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be addressed.

RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Virella - 05-13-2015

Tumblr is a place for me were I post semi IC stuff, semi OOC stuff, and random stuff what 95% of the time have to do with FFXIV.

Personally I have no need to bring up names, people, their roleplay and what not for if I have issues with them I simply leave them be, or say it out loudly.
People tend to forget that these blogs are just blogs. Some people use them as their mechanic to cool off, others use them strictly IC, others use it for sillyness, others for art, or all of the above.

However I must agree that nagging behind people's back on Tumblr is a cowardly thing to do. Surely we do all do it on Skype, LS chat, FC chat or where ever really. But going semi public about it and not giving people the chance to defend them? That I don't like whatsoever, especially due to people being very aware that said person cannot respond back onto them.

And I felt this piece of art was a good fit this discussion. No really. This sums up my thoughts about Tumblr for 99% of the non-art, non-ffxiv posts.

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RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Nebbs - 05-13-2015

Did we arrive at "Haters got to hate"

RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Hammersmith - 05-13-2015

(05-13-2015, 12:56 PM)Kage Wrote: I'm just thinking about "call-out culture" and then thinking about several things that tumblr/INTERNET~ had that just goes to show how shit spirals

1) X-kit guy
2) Joss Whedon and his twitter move
3) That Australian guy who was pictured, shared on Facebook, and labeled a creep because a mom thought he was taking pictures of her kids when he was just trying to be 'cool' for his kids and take a selfie with a cardboard cutout of Darth Vader on May 4
Joss Whedon has legit issues.  His failings and the response to them are a completely different kettle of false-equivalency fish compared to the other two who, as I understand it, actual innocents.

RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Hammersmith - 05-13-2015

(05-13-2015, 01:08 PM)Nebbs Wrote: Did we arrive at "Haters got to hate"
Yup.

RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - g0ne - 05-13-2015

(05-13-2015, 01:06 PM)Natalie Mcbeef Wrote:
(05-13-2015, 12:55 PM)Eleni Wrote: Okay, let's all be honest here. We're humans. We're prone to feeling negative emotions and letting it get to us. It happens. 

But the best thing you can do, and this is more beneficial to you than anyone else, is to just let it go. Forget it. Done. You can vent about it and ponder over it, and then let it go. Or just simply go 'meh, whatever' and let it go. If it really gets to you, maybe vent to someone really close, and then let it go. 

I'm referring to people who get bashed on. I won't refer to people who like posting negative stuff (I don't know who or why, like I said, I don't even know what created this thread). For those who get hurt or are targets, just forget it. Forget it and move on. There will always be people who will have problems with you. It's best to just take a deep breath, get it out of your heart and mind, and move on. 

I know it's easier said than done, but once you do it, you'll feel better. And that matters. You have control over yourself only. So keep yourself happy and calm, and everything else will be just fine.

What others do is their problem and their business to handle. Not yours. Even if there are people who are against you, there will always be people who are fond of you. Hold your loved ones and true friends and good people close. If you have them, and they know you, doesn't matter what others think. 

Smile

My two SMILE gil.

Sorry but the answer to toxic/damaging behavior should never just be to 'suck it up'. If people are acting poorly and it affects myself and communities I enjoy, I'm going to try and figure out how to stop it, or remove its influence.

Maybe it can't be stopped, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be addressed.

I understand. I'm not saying that it shouldn't be addressed. And I'm not saying 'suck it up'. I'm saying that there's no point in holding onto it. Sure, find a way to fix it. Sure, try to remove its influence. But don't let it damage you. Because if that happens, then aren't you letting it be successful?

Am I even making any sense? Undecided

RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Max - 05-13-2015

(05-13-2015, 01:07 PM)Virella Douront Wrote: However I must agree that nagging behind people's back on Tumblr is a cowardly thing to do. Surely we do all do it on Skype, LS chat, FC chat or where ever really. But going semi public about it and not giving people the chance to defend them? That I don't like whatsoever, especially due to people being very aware that said person cannot respond back onto them.

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OF: lol @ picture

OT: I have to slightly disagree with you there. Anyone can respond to your posts on tumblr (via reblog) if it's a public posting.

I also don't agree with the implication that it's only cowardly if you do it on Tumblr, but fine if you talk smack in linkshells, free company chats, or in skype groups. I mean, it's pretty much the same. You're probably more likely to rile up a server-side mob in a FC/LS than a whiny FFXIV-tagged tumblr post.

RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Verad - 05-13-2015

There is no problem. I'll stay on the RPC as I please, thank you.

RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Warren Castille - 05-13-2015

I think it's worth pointing out the difference between venting and making an attack post, though.

"God, was Warren drunk? He died to Meteor every time and kept pulling without ready checks. What a stupid jerk!" is venting.

"Warren Castille of Balmung is a toxic entity in LotA. He's repeatedly let himself die to easily avoidable mechanics, he kept pulling without informing the group and is just a troll. Vote kick him if you ever see him!" is making an attack post.

I think most people attempt to vent, first and foremost. No one likes wasting time! It's reasonable to gripe about someone doing dumb things. The trouble comes about when you decide this person must be systematically shamed and destroyed because they did things you don't like in a video game.

RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Verad - 05-13-2015

(05-13-2015, 01:26 PM)Warren Castille Wrote: I think most people attempt to vent, first and foremost. No one likes wasting time! It's reasonable to gripe about someone doing dumb things. The trouble comes about when you decide this person must be systematically shamed and destroyed because they did things you don't like in a video game.

Sometimes they have it coming. This is especially true if evidence of predatory behavior is available.

RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Unnamed Mercenary - 05-13-2015

(05-13-2015, 01:27 PM)Verad Wrote:
(05-13-2015, 01:26 PM)Warren Castille Wrote: I think most people attempt to vent, first and foremost. No one likes wasting time! It's reasonable to gripe about someone doing dumb things. The trouble comes about when you decide this person must be systematically shamed and destroyed because they did things you don't like in a video game.

Sometimes they have it coming. This is especially true if evidence of predatory behavior is available.

What about when it's hearsay at best?

RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Verad - 05-13-2015

(05-13-2015, 01:30 PM)Unnamed Mercenary Wrote:
(05-13-2015, 01:27 PM)Verad Wrote:
(05-13-2015, 01:26 PM)Warren Castille Wrote: I think most people attempt to vent, first and foremost. No one likes wasting time! It's reasonable to gripe about someone doing dumb things. The trouble comes about when you decide this person must be systematically shamed and destroyed because they did things you don't like in a video game.

Sometimes they have it coming. This is especially true if evidence of predatory behavior is available.

What about when it's hearsay at best?

What mood am I in that day?

RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Warren Castille - 05-13-2015

(05-13-2015, 01:27 PM)Verad Wrote: Sometimes they have it coming. This is especially true if evidence of predatory behavior is available.

I do agree with you, but I also feel that it's too easy for people to feel justified in making those accusations.

RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Unnamed Mercenary - 05-13-2015

(05-13-2015, 01:31 PM)Verad Wrote:
(05-13-2015, 01:30 PM)Unnamed Mercenary Wrote:
(05-13-2015, 01:27 PM)Verad Wrote:
(05-13-2015, 01:26 PM)Warren Castille Wrote: I think most people attempt to vent, first and foremost. No one likes wasting time! It's reasonable to gripe about someone doing dumb things. The trouble comes about when you decide this person must be systematically shamed and destroyed because they did things you don't like in a video game.

Sometimes they have it coming. This is especially true if evidence of predatory behavior is available.

What about when it's hearsay at best?

What mood am I in that day?

A White-Knight-y one. Angry. Rageful. But you can't name names, because that'd definitely expose the victims you feel you need to protect.

RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Verad - 05-13-2015

(05-13-2015, 01:35 PM)Unnamed Mercenary Wrote:
(05-13-2015, 01:31 PM)Verad Wrote:
(05-13-2015, 01:30 PM)Unnamed Mercenary Wrote:
(05-13-2015, 01:27 PM)Verad Wrote:
(05-13-2015, 01:26 PM)Warren Castille Wrote: I think most people attempt to vent, first and foremost. No one likes wasting time! It's reasonable to gripe about someone doing dumb things. The trouble comes about when you decide this person must be systematically shamed and destroyed because they did things you don't like in a video game.

Sometimes they have it coming. This is especially true if evidence of predatory behavior is available.

What about when it's hearsay at best?

What mood am I in that day?

A White-Knight-y one. Angry. Rageful. But you can't name names, because that'd definitely expose the victims you feel you need to protect.

Then I think I need to post a thread on the RPC about the problem despite the absence of evidence because I'm sure everybody will "know" it's true.