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+--- Thread: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. (/showthread.php?tid=11586)
RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Virella - 05-13-2015
(05-13-2015, 01:18 PM)Max Wrote:(05-13-2015, 01:07 PM)Virella Douront Wrote: However I must agree that nagging behind people's back on Tumblr is a cowardly thing to do. Surely we do all do it on Skype, LS chat, FC chat or where ever really. But going semi public about it and not giving people the chance to defend them? That I don't like whatsoever, especially due to people being very aware that said person cannot respond back onto them.
OF: lol @ picture
OT: I have to slightly disagree with you there. Anyone can respond to your posts on tumblr (via reblog) if it's a public posting.
I also don't agree with the implication that it's only cowardly if you do it on Tumblr, but fine if you talk smack in linkshells, free company chats, or in skype groups. I mean, it's pretty much the same. You're probably more likely to rile up a sever-side mob in a FC/LS than a whiny FFXIV-tagged tumblr post.
![[Image: tumblr_nnc4c5PzNe1srvl1no1_250.png]](https://41.media.tumblr.com/c2914e41e5c9239beace5abd33e0656e/tumblr_nnc4c5PzNe1srvl1no1_250.png)
OF: thank you, yes, it is a glorious piece of art ain't it?!
OT: Not everyone has a Tumblr though.
That said it is still not a nice thing to do. But I'm just not going to be a saint here and go "OH! OOOH! You shouldn't do that!@$!@!!!!!". My point being here we all talk trash at times, however I find it cowardly when you go publicly with it and do not give the chance for the person to respond back. Some people are simply not keeping track of who is stirring what drama (like myself), or simply do not have a Tumblr.
Either keep your frustrations behind 'locked doors', keep it private or just address your issues with said person. I'm not going to be mother Theresa here and go "Oh no you are terrible, and shouldn't talk shit behind people's back." because we all do.
RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - TheLastCandle - 05-13-2015
Who is this "Tumblr" person and why are they hating on you? More importantly, why did their parents name them "Tumblr?"
RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Kellach Woods - 05-13-2015
It's not because people do it that it automatically makes the advice to not do it invalid.
I mean, how many smokers you hear saying you shouldn't start 'cause it's bad for you? Does that make the advice invalid?
Same thing here - Don't talk shit behind people's backs shouldn't be something we do, but we do it regardless. We often need reminders not to do it because otherwise we'll just treat others like trash and feel validated because a coterie of yes-peeps will be encouraging us every step of the way.
That being said, I am terribly disappointed, again, in this community.
RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Warren Castille - 05-13-2015
(05-13-2015, 02:53 PM)Kellach Woods Wrote: That being said, I am terribly disappointed, again, in this community.
We'll still save you a seat at the bar.
RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Verad - 05-13-2015
(05-13-2015, 02:53 PM)Kellach Woods Wrote: It's not because people do it that it automatically makes the advice to not do it invalid.
I mean, how many smokers you hear saying you shouldn't start 'cause it's bad for you? Does that make the advice invalid?
Same thing here - Don't talk shit behind people's backs shouldn't be something we do, but we do it regardless. We often need reminders not to do it because otherwise we'll just treat others like trash and feel validated because a coterie of yes-peeps will be encouraging us every step of the way.
That being said, I am terribly disappointed, again, in this community.
How might we regain your good graces? How can we turn that mime-frown upside-down?
RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Melkire - 05-13-2015
[Moderator Hardhat]
I split off / culled the links to tumblr (EDIT: along with associated griping). We're here to have a discussion, not to point fingers or to incite drama. If you can't take part without doing so, then please refrain from posting.
(EDIT 2: Beast of habit. Next time, I'll let the posts sit and mod-note them for actions taken)
[/Moderator Hardhat]
RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Flashhelix - 05-13-2015
Trying to guilt-trip people into not talking shit about people/things they dislike on their personal blogs isn't going to change anything. If it does anything at all it'll probably just give them more to gripe about.
RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Kalooeh - 05-13-2015
I never understood tumblr's issues with the rpc. I keep seeing people talk about how bad the community here is and I havn't seen any issues?
Granted I mostly hang out in the RP Discussion, Character Development, and Balmung events/directory (Mainly just reading people's stuff).
But it's pretty much looking like it's people starting stupid shit on tumblr over stupid things more than there being any actual major issues here.
Either way a big problem here is the hive mind issue people tend to get where they hear someone is a problem from someone else, in a very public place (like tumblr), and people take it and run with it. Often enough talking about problematic people is helpful for people like me who want to avoid certain types because of issues in the past, but often enough too I see people making claims about someone not actually all that bad, but because the people following them are friends/followers they will believe whatever the person says and often enough go on a witchhunt too
I have made a few friends now that are worried about others attacking me for publicly rping with them or mentioning their characters names in my stories, rp logs, wikis, etc, because someone said something about them or posted something out of context to make them look really bad, and because friends want to support friends or people want to support the people they are following and like, shit gets blown up and jerkasses start attacking people.
RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - McBeefâ„¢ - 05-13-2015
I agree Kalooeh.
It's just that sort of like submarines beneath the surface, all these battles rage on other sites and cliques.
Then they just come on here to launch their torpedos.
I wish this could just be a neutral ground for peoples beefs. A no beef zone. Like those cows in india they can't eat.
RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Nebbs - 05-13-2015
In simple terms I don't see how debating nuances helps.
Yes people will have their opinions, but we are all free to ignore those opinions. We get to choose how it affects us. So choose to ignore the hate (if you get hate) and be happy.
[EDIT - image removed after warning.. instead I wrote the answer. Sorry I am a picture person not a wordy person.]
[Edit 2 - btw thanks for the rep for the pic also ♥]
Mod Note: User was sent a PM, as this post breaches the "image macro / meme post" rule of Section 1. No warning issued for first-time violation. - Melkire
RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - McBeefâ„¢ - 05-13-2015
(05-13-2015, 04:44 PM)Nebbs Wrote: In simple terms I don't see how debating nuances helps.
Yes people will have their opinions, but we are all free to ignore those opinions. We get to choose how it affects us. So choose to ignore the hate (if you get hate) and be happy.
[EDIT - image removed after warning.. instead I wrote the answer. Sorry I am a picture person not a wordy person.]
[Edit 2 - btw thanks for the rep for the pic also ♥]
Mod Note: User was sent a PM, as this post breaches the "image macro / meme post" rule of Section 1. No warning issued for first-time violation.
If you don't see how debating nuance helps, you don't need to participate.
I think arguing about sports teams is dumb, but I don't interject myself into the conversation and tell people how wrong they are for wondering which team of men in brightly colored outfits is better at moving a ball around than another group of people in brightly colored outfits.
RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Nebbs - 05-13-2015
(05-13-2015, 05:05 PM)Natalie Mcbeef Wrote:(05-13-2015, 04:44 PM)Nebbs Wrote: In simple terms I don't see how debating nuances helps.
Yes people will have their opinions, but we are all free to ignore those opinions. We get to choose how it affects us. So choose to ignore the hate (if you get hate) and be happy.
[EDIT - image removed after warning.. instead I wrote the answer. Sorry I am a picture person not a wordy person.]
[Edit 2 - btw thanks for the rep for the pic also ♥]
Mod Note: User was sent a PM, as this post breaches the "image macro / meme post" rule of Section 1. No warning issued for first-time violation.
If you don't see how debating nuance helps, you don't need to participate.
I think arguing about sports teams is dumb, but I don't interject myself into the conversation and tell people how wrong they are for wondering which team of men in brightly colored outfits is better at moving a ball around than another group of people in brightly colored outfits.
I don't need to but I choose to. *hugs* I still don't think you will help anyone with nuances.. if it was even your exchanges I was referring to.
RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Gone. - 05-13-2015
(05-13-2015, 04:44 PM)Nebbs Wrote: Yes people will have their opinions, but we are all free to ignore those opinions. We get to choose how it affects us. So choose to ignore the hate (if you get hate) and be happy.
This greatly oversimplifies the negative sides of socialization. If you happen to have anxiety and/or self-esteem issues, ignoring things isn't an option, much less a consideration to begin with. It will haunt you for a very, very long time.
It's why sweeping harassment and bullying up under the rug just makes things worse by neglecting the issue entirely, if not harmful to those around us. Words can and do hurt, even kill. Just take a look at all the high profile suicide cases there have been over the past year. It's all the proof anyone needs.
That people don't seem to realize why situations like this are concerning honestly scares me.
RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Warren Castille - 05-13-2015
(05-13-2015, 05:14 PM)hauntmedoitagain Wrote:(05-13-2015, 04:44 PM)Nebbs Wrote: Yes people will have their opinions, but we are all free to ignore those opinions. We get to choose how it affects us. So choose to ignore the hate (if you get hate) and be happy.
This greatly oversimplifies the negative sides of socialization. If you happen to have anxiety and/or self-esteem issues, ignoring things isn't an option, much less a consideration to begin with. It will haunt you for a very, very long time.
It's why sweeping harassment and bullying up under the rug just makes things worse by neglecting the issue entirely, if not harmful to those around us. Words can and do hurt, even kill. Just take a look at all the high profile suicide cases there have been over the past year. It's all the proof anyone needs.
That people don't seem to realize why situations like this are concerning honestly scares me.
I'm inclined to agree. It's nice to tell people to be optimistic about these sort of things and I'm sure is coming from a positive place, but it sounds like "It's YOUR fault if people hurt your feelings!"
RE: If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC. - Nebbs - 05-13-2015
(05-13-2015, 05:14 PM)hauntmedoitagain Wrote:(05-13-2015, 04:44 PM)Nebbs Wrote: Yes people will have their opinions, but we are all free to ignore those opinions. We get to choose how it affects us. So choose to ignore the hate (if you get hate) and be happy.
This greatly oversimplifies the negative sides of socialization. If you happen to have anxiety and/or self-esteem issues, ignoring things isn't an option, much less a consideration to begin with. It will haunt you for a very, very long time.
It's why sweeping harassment and bullying up under the rug just makes things worse by neglecting the issue entirely, if not harmful to those around us. Words can and do hurt, even kill. Just take a look at all the high profile suicide cases there have been over the past year. It's all the proof anyone needs.
That people don't seem to realize why situations like this are concerning honestly scares me.
I agree and I don't think we can fix tumbler (it is a symptom of humanity not a cause), some things "just are" and resilience and support are the only defence, unless you have ways to sanction and rehabilitate people.