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Sex-work and Harmful Language - PkThunda - 11-06-2015
This thread is written with the permission of the moderator Osric Melkire.
Hello! You may know me from my art, my characters in game, or not at all because I can be a recluse of the non-venomous sort. Either way, I would like to talk to you all about something important to me and several members of the community; harmful language towards and about Sexworkers.
I am a sexworker; I work as a phone-sex operator and used to do live-camera modeling. My mother was a sexworker, a stripper, for a majority of my young childhood. I also know others who work in the sex trade, from fellow phone-sex operators to strippers to escorts and sugar
babies. I even know some here in the RPC and FFXIV community.
It is because of this that I have to speak up and let people know that some language in regards to sex-work is not okay and is harmful to us. I know that not many people are well versed on this. It's not a topic that comes up very often unless you're a part of the community of sex-work. It is, however, important to learn and respect these things to prevent a hostile environment for a marginalized subsection of people.
I will explain why some words are considered slurs against sexworkers, and hope you understand enough to at least help make this site a safer place for some of its members. Please remember; while some words were acceptable to use in history, we are becoming more aware of those that are derogatory towards groups and learning to change our language.
Prostitute and Prostitution are slurs.
The word prostitute was not originally meant to describe a sexworker, only beginning to be used for such in the 16th-17th centuries. It has always had a derogatory meaning; it’s Latin roots meaning to debase and expose oneself shamefully for gain. It’s still used in this way today, which makes its use for sex-work all the more inappropriate. However, its use as a legal term gives the term the appearance of neutrality. This is a bit like thinking it’s okay to call gay people Sodomites because of the existence of sodomy laws.
Hooker is a slur.
A person of disreputable morals, ‘hooking’ or ensnaring their patrons. It’s implications, that sexworkers are dirty and immoral, are obviously not acceptable to describe a person or their work.
Whore is a slur.
I should not have to explain this one, but I will just in case.
The word whore is used against many people in an attempt to shame them, to equate them to the immoral and dirty sexworker. It’s used as an attack on both sexuality and the bodily autonomy of sexworkers.
Street-walker is a slur.
Street-walker is used to attack the most marginalized members of the sex-work umbrella. Even in other sex-work spaces, those that are outdoors tend to be ridiculed and treated as if they are lesser. It’s not a description of their work.
What are acceptable terms then?
Sexworker
Sexworker is an umbrella term for those in the sex trade. This is a general term that recognized that those in the trade are doing legitimate work.
Full Service Sexworker/FS Sex worker
This is used specifically for those who partake in physical intimacy with their clients for money.
Outdoor Sexworker / Street based sexworker
A more respectful way to describe a FS sexworker who works outdoors.
Escort
This term was used to separate the sex-work community from the derogatory term prostitute.
You may not agree with sex-work. That is okay. You do not have to. It is, however, not your say in which words should and should not be accepted. Just because you do not like the work, be it pornography or stripping, that doesn’t give you the right to degrade another human being on their choices.
Now, you may be expecting me to also tell you to stop saying certain words while in character.
I’m not going to.
I understand that sometimes characters are not good people and that some words are used in the game itself. That’s okay. I played a slaver when I first started here- that does not mean I condone slavery or trafficking in real life.
This is about making players feel safe, the same way LGBTQ or PoC should feel safe through the education of harmful language.
If you are interested in learning more and have questions, please feel free to PM me. I am more than happy to help people understand the work itself so long as they remain respectful and open minded enough to listen. Please do not try to debate in the thread.
RE: Sex-work and Harmful Language - McBeefâ„¢ - 11-06-2015
I disagree.
RE: Sex-work and Harmful Language - LiadansWhisper - 11-06-2015
I have a question...
If we're not allowed to disagree with you, then what is the purpose of posting this thread on a forum where...well...people discuss things? I mean, it seems a little silly to use this set of forums that are set up for discussion as your own personal blog and tell everyone they have to agree with you and they're not allowed to disagree with you. Because you said so.
Seems a bit silly.
RE: Sex-work and Harmful Language - McBeefâ„¢ - 11-06-2015
(11-06-2015, 02:30 AM)LiadansWhisper Wrote: I have a question...We're allowed to disagree, just not to debate.
If we're not allowed to disagree with you, then what is the purpose of posting this thread on a forum where...well...people discuss things? Â I mean, it seems a little silly to use this set of forums that are set up for discussion as your own personal blog and tell everyone they have to agree with you and they're not allowed to disagree with you. Â Because you said so.
Seems a bit silly.
So we can make statements like "Prostitute is a perfectly good word for people who prostitute themselves."Â
Just not allowed to debate the merits of those statements.
RE: Sex-work and Harmful Language - Flashhelix - 11-06-2015
(11-06-2015, 02:30 AM)LiadansWhisper Wrote: I have a question...
If we're not allowed to disagree with you, then what is the purpose of posting this thread on a forum where...well...people discuss things? I mean, it seems a little silly to use this set of forums that are set up for discussion as your own personal blog and tell everyone they have to agree with you and they're not allowed to disagree with you. Because you said so.
Seems a bit silly.
Pretty much this, the forum is called "Off Topic Discussion" for a reason. If you don't want people to actually discuss or debate the information you bring up, you might be in the wrong place.
RE: Sex-work and Harmful Language - McBeefâ„¢ - 11-06-2015
(11-06-2015, 02:34 AM)Flashhelix Wrote:Perhaps we could make a "Personal Crusades that don't matter" subforum. Then this can go into that.(11-06-2015, 02:30 AM)LiadansWhisper Wrote: I have a question...
If we're not allowed to disagree with you, then what is the purpose of posting this thread on a forum where...well...people discuss things? Â I mean, it seems a little silly to use this set of forums that are set up for discussion as your own personal blog and tell everyone they have to agree with you and they're not allowed to disagree with you. Â Because you said so.
Seems a bit silly.
Pretty much this, the forum is called "Off Topic Discussion" for a reason. If you don't want people to actually discuss or debate the information you bring up, you might be in the wrong place.
RE: Sex-work and Harmful Language - Teadrinker - 11-06-2015
I don't understand what you hope to accomplish with this.
I respect you and what you do and your right to do it but you can't change the definitions of words.
whore
noun \ˈhȯr, ˈhu̇r\
Definition of WHORE
1
:Â a woman who engages in sexual acts for money :Â prostitute; also :Â a promiscuous or immoral woman
2
:Â a male who engages in sexual acts for money
Full Definition of PROSTITUTE
transitive verb
1
:Â to offer indiscriminately for sexual intercourse especially for money
2
:Â to devote to corrupt or unworthy purposes :Â debase <prostitute one's talents>
— pros·ti·tu·tor
\-ˌtü-tər, -ˌtyü-\ noun
If I call someone one of these words it means they exchanged sexual acts for gain of some kind. That is when I use these words. I don't use them to slander people. However, if people view the act of accepting gain in exchange for sex as slanderous then...that's on them.
For example, I know a girl who exchanged nudes for a raid spot in a static and gear. She's a ho and I called her such and people got butthurt about "slutshaming."
I don't know. This thread is going places.
RE: Sex-work and Harmful Language - Oli! - 11-06-2015
Would sexworkers qualify as an oppressed minority, out of curiosity?
No malice intended, I'm legitimately curious considering this post and its reasoning.
RE: Sex-work and Harmful Language - McBeefâ„¢ - 11-06-2015
(11-06-2015, 02:38 AM)Oli! Wrote: Would sexworkers qualify as an oppressed minority, out of curiosity?She's mad no one cares about this as much as she does.Â
No malice intended, I'm legitimately curious considering this post and its reasoning.
And she wants us to know why we're bad because of that.
RE: Sex-work and Harmful Language - Pastry Army - 11-06-2015
While I agree with the shared sentiment that not being able to discuss something in a Discussion thread comes off as a bit silly, I will stamp my opinion on this thread. Because I am simply that way on things.Â
It is interesting to be able to see the view point of someone who is actually in the field open up and share what, to them and others at large, are considered derogatory and insulting vocabulary to their particular field of choice.
RE: Sex-work and Harmful Language - V'aleera - 11-06-2015
(11-06-2015, 02:37 AM)Teadrinker Wrote: I don't use them to slander people. However, if people view the act of accepting gain in exchange for sex as slanderous then...that's on them.
What's your policy on descriptive racial terms?
RE: Sex-work and Harmful Language - McBeefâ„¢ - 11-06-2015
(11-06-2015, 02:43 AM)V Wrote:(11-06-2015, 02:37 AM)Teadrinker Wrote: I don't use them to slander people. However, if people view the act of accepting gain in exchange for sex as slanderous then...that's on them.
What's your policy on descriptive racial terms?
Could you give some examples of what those might be?
RE: Sex-work and Harmful Language - LiadansWhisper - 11-06-2015
(11-06-2015, 02:41 AM)Pastry Army Wrote: While I agree with the shared sentiment that not being able to discuss something in a Discussion thread comes off as a bit silly, I will stamp my opinion on this thread. Because I am simply that way on things.Â
It is interesting to be able to see the view point of someone who is actually in the field open up and share what, to them and others at large, are considered derogatory and insulting vocabulary to their particular field of choice.
The thing is, basing your understanding of an entire field of work off of one person's opinion is...probably unwise. I have been friends for years with a lovely woman who has been a phone sex operator for quite some time (and has done cam shows and similar), and I asked her about this very subject a few days back. Her response? "I don't consider it a slur."
But I also would think that the word "prostitute" wouldn't fit her job description, anyway. And I'm not sure that she would describe herself as a sex worker, and I'm sure that there's at least someone out there who would consider being called a "sex worker" derogatory.
In my state, "prostitute" is literally a job title. It isn't used as a slur, it's simply a descriptive title for someone who literally sells physical sex for money. The term that appears in our legal code? "Prostitute." But I've never seen it used as a slur against a person. Truth be told, the word has too many syllables to be really effective as a slur when you're raging at someone. I've heard slut, whore, ho, hooker, and other, much less printable words used. But "prostitute"? No. That's a legal term, and that's what it's referred to in courts.
RE: Sex-work and Harmful Language - V'aleera - 11-06-2015
(11-06-2015, 02:44 AM)McBeefâ„¢ Wrote:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_ethnic_slurs(11-06-2015, 02:43 AM)V Wrote:(11-06-2015, 02:37 AM)Teadrinker Wrote: I don't use them to slander people. However, if people view the act of accepting gain in exchange for sex as slanderous then...that's on them.
What's your policy on descriptive racial terms?
Could you give some examples of what those might be?
RE: Sex-work and Harmful Language - PkThunda - 11-06-2015
(11-06-2015, 02:38 AM)Oli! Wrote: Would sexworkers qualify as an oppressed minority, out of curiosity?
No malice intended, I'm legitimately curious considering this post and its reasoning.
It's a good question!
Yes. Sexworkers can be considered an oppressed minority- especially Full Service Sexworkers.
FS sexworkers have higher rates of violence against them compared to women in other working fields. Despite the accepted murder rate for 2004 is 2004 per 100,000, the rates are muddled due to what is deemed legal work or illegal work.
I remember in Canada regarding a serial murder case where Robert Pickton murdered 6 and buried a suspected twenty working women on his property- all of which didn't even get a missing persons report on their disappearance.Â
Many other serial killers tend to go for sexworkers as they are often not reported missing.