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+--- Thread: [Discussion] Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? (/showthread.php?tid=20684)
RE: Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? - Imo - 10-09-2017
Magitek limbs.
RE: Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? - Marisa - 10-11-2017
I wouldn't say its a red flag for "bad" rp, but more that I might not get much enjoyment from it. I'm not a huge fan of when people spend more time sitting in the quicksand talking about things they've done, rather than going out and actually doing stuff. It's fine if you like a more passive form of storytelling, but it seems like you'd be better off writing your own literature at that point.
RE: Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? - Maril - 10-11-2017
/Modhat onÂ
Please keep on topic. I refer to the OP, this topic is about red flags in RP/RP Partners, not RP pet-peeves. If you want to discuss RP pet peeves, creating a different thread would be more suitable.Â
/Modhat off
RE: Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? - Zhavi - 10-12-2017
The biggest red flag for me will always be when someone starts talking smack about a player because of a character's actions (and I'm not talking about god moding or whatnot), or starts becoming a liiiiiittle too invested in the player. Being a stalker is bad, mmkay?
Plus, I dunno, it makes me sad when a player I'm getting to know oocly feels the need to mention things like "I have a spouse/SO, and I am invested in this relationship, and not looking for ooc romance" -- because they've had bad experiences with other players not being able to separate that ooc/ic boundary. Building up a great rp partnership takes a lot of time and effort. It sucks to have to drop it for ooc reasons like persistent and unwelcome romantic interest. Hell, I tend to actively dissuade most ooc communications because of how many second-hand horror stories I've heard ever since my wee teenager days of MUD and PBP rp.
RE: Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? - Fox - 10-12-2017
(10-12-2017, 12:00 PM)Zhavi Wrote: Plus, I dunno, it makes me sad when a player I'm getting to know oocly feels the need to mention things like "I have a spouse/SO, and I am invested in this relationship, and not looking for ooc romance" -- because they've had bad experiences with other players not being able to separate that ooc/ic boundary. Building up a great rp partnership takes a lot of time and effort. It sucks to have to drop it for ooc reasons like persistent and unwelcome romantic interest. Hell, I tend to actively dissuade most ooc communications because of how many second-hand horror stories I've heard ever since my wee teenager days of MUD and PBP rp.
Unfortunately I've had to tell people this; it's why I also put "NoERP/ROM" in my personal search tags. It's aggravating to deal with constantly; and while I have friends who's characters have been involved with my characters in the past- it's in part to the fact that I trust them not to be manipulative or creepy. They're also people I have known for years and aren't some rando searching for relationships.
So honestly red flags for me are mainly people who try to push the IC-relationship on me when I say I don't rp it. Manipulation and "guilt tripping" also throws up flags I've dealt with people who are clingy and over-sensitive and it usually ends with them guilt tripping me because I play other games or I'm not online when they demand it.
RE: Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? - Kerrath - 10-12-2017
IC red flags:
For the most part, I'll RP with anyone so long as their stuff is reasonably lore-adjacent. it doesn't have to be exact, but it has to be believable. I don't really care that much if someone RPs that they have one of the Jobs even if it's one of the more exclusive Jobs so long as they reasonably adhere to the lore of the job, and even that has wiggle room for me.
Really, what I mean is that if you had to invent stuff for your character to work, I get wary. If your character came from a nation no one's ever heard of, I get wary. If your character is some sort of race that no one's ever heard of, I get wary. If you made up a brand new job that doesn't exist in the Final Fantasy universe, I get wary--unless it's pretty tame and understandable, I guess.
If you play as a Garlean, I get wary. I've seen it done well, but for every good Garlean, there's someone who's using Garlemald as a plot device to invent whatever anime contraption they want and import it into the FF14 universe--which can be troublesome.
If you play a Futa Nunh, I'm judging you and you need to go to church.
OOC red flags:
People who've got a lot of enemies. If you think everyone hates you, well, everyone is a lot of people and I'm fairly certain not everyone is actually an asshole, but the common denominator is you. Â
People who don't talk out their problems with their friends and other associates. I've seen this one A LOT. I've seen a lot of people who've got such an intrinsic built-in fear of confrontation that it hinders their ability to move past whatever they're dealing with. Yes, confrontation sucks, but it's a necessary element for managing conflict.
People who are too open about their sexuality. This is a personal taste one, and I get that not everyone shares my feelings here--but if I see an f-list in your search comment, I make the presumption that you're probably mostly in it for ERP. Also, I generally prefer not to know much about people's sexuality. It's none of my business, and I prefer it that way.
People who ic/ooc bleed. I don't care as much about this one because I don't engage in THAT much romance RP, which is where bleed might be a problem. I play with my girlfriend. Before she played, I was lucky enough that my romance RP partners were fairly chill. I don't really play a very antagonistic character, so I also don't often experience people who've got issues with feeling antagonized.
RE: Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? - Nako Vesh - 10-12-2017
(10-07-2017, 03:51 AM)Arashin Kujqai Wrote: Tbh, I feel people need to loosen up their judgements a bit more. More specifically any prejudgements they hold. Some red flags may indicate warning or something bad but that alone doesn't actually constitute the person is bad or something's wrong with them or RP'ing with them. Everyone's got a life of their own specifics and understandings both IRL and in game, just should respect each other and move on with it. Maybe I sound too "peace and love" atm but I think some areas of RP in many servers would get along much more if they just learned to have fun and loosen up themselves a bit, than to get offended or see reasons to not get along over all the reasons they COULD get along with.
I mean, this is a nice stance to take if you can afford to. Petty gripes with RP style aside, some of us have some very good reasons for being cautious about certain behaviors. People like to joke about how the internet doesn't affect real life, but it really can, and for some of the more vulnerable out there it can actually become dangerous.
RE: Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? - Arashin Kujqai - 10-12-2017
(10-12-2017, 11:45 PM)Nako Vesh Wrote:Agreed. No one's saying not to be cautious but my comment leans more towards being open minded than just backing right out the door at first glance. In the end, everyone should be comfortable doing their own thing and not have to feel judged for whatever it is. I say "feel" judged because people will and undoubtedly judge regardless because it's just human to. Doesn't mean we have to put that kind of insecurity on each other though. Which is another red flag I have to keep a lookout for usually... RL comes first, in game 2nd, but we don't have to bring our RL into the game and onto others.(10-07-2017, 03:51 AM)Arashin Kujqai Wrote: Tbh, I feel people need to loosen up their judgements a bit more. More specifically any prejudgements they hold. Some red flags may indicate warning or something bad but that alone doesn't actually constitute the person is bad or something's wrong with them or RP'ing with them. Everyone's got a life of their own specifics and understandings both IRL and in game, just should respect each other and move on with it. Maybe I sound too "peace and love" atm but I think some areas of RP in many servers would get along much more if they just learned to have fun and loosen up themselves a bit, than to get offended or see reasons to not get along over all the reasons they COULD get along with.
I mean, this is a nice stance to take if you can afford to. Petty gripes with RP style aside, some of us have some very good reasons for being cautious about certain behaviors. People like to joke about how the internet doesn't affect real life, but it really can, and for some of the more vulnerable out there it can actually become dangerous.
RE: Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? - Aegir - 10-13-2017
(10-12-2017, 03:20 PM)Kerrath Wrote: IC red flags:
If you play as a Garlean, I get wary. I've seen it done well, but for every good Garlean, there's someone who's using Garlemald as a plot device to invent whatever anime contraption they want and import it into the FF14 universe--which can be troublesome.
![[Image: tumblr_oxs1a0U4ek1vmupjpo1_1280.jpg]](https://78.media.tumblr.com/957708cb16b6679056f75895be4cae7c/tumblr_oxs1a0U4ek1vmupjpo1_1280.jpg)
RE: Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? - Kerrath - 10-13-2017
(10-13-2017, 03:41 PM)Aegir Wrote: snipped picture of garlean gaspingwell i don't get SUPER wary but for me it goes back to inventing shit.
ive seen people use garlemald as a magic box from which to pull all sorts of bullshit where they say their character comes from garlemald and is an invincible warrior goddess with immortality who has an aura that instantly nullifies all magic cast in their general vicinity and she was genetically modified to be the perfect warrior and simultaneously modified to be extremely sexy with big hips and breasts.
i have no time for downloading all of that dlc into my rp
tbh if you dont do any of that nonsense thats really all it takes for me to be fine with your garlean. hell, id love nothing more than to play an extremely fascist garlean nationalist with flowing beautiful hair, a cape, and a general tendency to naturally stand in contrapposto at all times.
RE: Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? - Faye - 10-13-2017
I'm admittedly wary of Garlean role-players, too. At first it was because I came across too many people just using "Garlean" as synonym for "evil." That's not to say Garleans can't be and often aren't evil, of course, but I just came across a lot of people who seemed to have both no reasoning for their characters behavior and no understanding of Garlemald. It was like they asked themselves, "How can I make my character a villain? I know, I'll have them be a Garlean so they're evil!!"
Nowadays, I see less of that and more... people role-playing Garleans, but playing them as openly loyal yet wanting it to be goofy, fun, slice-of-life social RP tavern-hopping with no consequences allowed (until they find some excuse for their character to go full bad-ass and beat people up with their Magitek prowess)? It's made me even more wary than I was before. Which may be a bit hypocritical coming from someone with a Garlean and a half-Garlean, but decent Garlean RP has always been difficult to find.
RE: Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? - Mermaid - 10-14-2017
This talk of Garleans and "inventing shit" reminded me of one. Two words that will always make me raise a brow and check how badly you might be stepping on the canon are noble and nobility. It's always a coin flip whether they're fine or whether they're snowflakey. For every one doing it right there's another who hasn't done their research or is trying to insert themselves into some part of the lore they shouldn't. For every one that has done extensive research or writes it so damn well that their tiny mistakes don't matter there's two going "Tee hee! I'm a princess!". Then to add insult to injury you can tell those 'princesses' know they're breaking canon because they always come from some island or place that's never been mentioned. Pretty much every girl ever has wanted to be a princess at some point in her life but maybe you should find a setting/system/etc that supports it?
Maybe it's just one of my buttons because I was once guilty of making a noble character without researching the culture first. I was still new to the setting, the information wasn't on the sites I was using as resources, and I assumed a less common ethnic group would have a society similar to the more common one. It really opened my eyes to the importance of researching lore.
RE: Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? - Kaiverta - 10-14-2017
(10-04-2017, 09:20 AM)Mermaid Wrote: I feel like this must have been discussed here before but I wasn't able to find an existing thread. Sorry if I've unwittingly created a thread on a commonly discussed topic!I think 'maybe this scene isn't for me' is a personalized thing. Your red flags might be different from mine, so it's not a blanket statement that applies to everything.
What are some red flags for you when it comes to role play you're involved in or people you're role playing with? Things that make you think things like "maybe I shouldn't RP with this person" or "maybe this scene isn't for me". How do you deal with it?
I feel like I should be offering my own opinions and experiences to start this thread off but, as with most topics like this, some experiences are as recent as the past month or two and I worry about people involved finding these forums.
Red flags for ME, as based on previous encounters (from which I have learned, thank gawd) are things like:
Fangirling. To a degree this is okay, but when it gets to the point that the person is 'jokingly' saying that they're sad you're RPing with someone else and not them, usually they're legit jealous or annoyed about it, and eventually the behaviour turns into serious 'you can't RP with them, RP with me' behaviour.
Setting up IC drama. I personally almost never pre-plan RPs. I like spontaneity more than planned situations, but sometimes planning things is required. It becomes an issue when the other person says things like, "Omg it's so juicy, I love it!" Basically when it becomes gossip.
Isolation. I had one person isolate me for four years (when I was a lot younger and more susceptible. It hasn't happened since). My IRL life was fine, because I was able to separate the two. Basically, this person was telling me very passive-aggressive 'bad things' about every other person that I RPed with (absolutely everyone), and I learned later that she was also badmouthing me (again, in a subtle way so it came across as logical, level-minded truth, not insane bitchfest nonsense) to everyone else, so I ended up only RPing with her, every day, all day, for two years (the next two get complicated and aren't required for this example). The community was ruined for me because I took her word for it instead of hearing both sides, and I didn't (and don't) like to gossip and ask people about it anyway, so I allowed her to isolate me. Never agaiinnnn!
Those are the main red flags for me. There are other smaller ones, but I can't think of them at the moment. I've learned to spot them and change my 'behaviour' to avoid them, thankfully. Haven't had online drama for about five years.
RE: Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? - Faye - 10-14-2017
(10-14-2017, 10:21 AM)Kaiverta Wrote: Setting up IC drama. I personally almost never pre-plan RPs. I like spontaneity more than planned situations, but sometimes planning things is required. It becomes an issue when the other person says things like, "Omg it's so juicy, I love it!" Basically when it becomes gossip.
I don't understand the issue here unless I'm misinterpreting this. Not everyone likes soap opera style drama in their RP (I think that's more a matter of personal preference but I guess could be a "red flag" if someone has had bad experiences with that or believes it's indicative of some bigger problem) but it just sounds like... someone getting excited about the RP? Shouldn't that be a good thing? I love when scenes and role-play actually evoke some sort of reaction, or when the person I'm RPing with is excited for things we have planned, that's the whole fun of RP.
RE: Red Flags in RP/RP Partners? - Parvacake - 10-14-2017
(10-14-2017, 04:44 PM)Faye Wrote:I think what they mean is when someone preplans this kind of thing purely for drama's sake. Less so for progressing a story and moreso because they want to recreate Days of Our Lives: Eorzea Edition.(10-14-2017, 10:21 AM)Kaiverta Wrote: Setting up IC drama. I personally almost never pre-plan RPs. I like spontaneity more than planned situations, but sometimes planning things is required. It becomes an issue when the other person says things like, "Omg it's so juicy, I love it!" Basically when it becomes gossip.
I don't understand the issue here unless I'm misinterpreting this. Not everyone likes soap opera style drama in their RP (I think that's more a matter of personal preference but I guess could be a "red flag" if someone has had bad experiences with that or believes it's indicative of some bigger problem) but it just sounds like... someone getting excited about the RP? Shouldn't that be a good thing? I love when scenes and role-play actually evoke some sort of reaction, or when the person I'm RPing with is excited for things we have planned, that's the whole fun of RP.