-Lie to Myself-[Shortstory] - Printable Version +- Hydaelyn Role-Players (https://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/mybb18) +-- Forum: Role-Play (https://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/mybb18/forumdisplay.php?fid=27) +--- Forum: Town Square (IC) (https://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/mybb18/forumdisplay.php?fid=21) +--- Thread: -Lie to Myself-[Shortstory] (/showthread.php?tid=5612)

-Lie to Myself-[Shortstory] - Dante Abigor - 11-25-2013 [A short story outlining the current situations for Dante Abigor & Pheria Darkshines, while lightly touching on some of their past]     Part 1-These Were Memories....Right?          Pheria took a deep breath and descended into the lower decks of an unremarkable ship, carrying a lamp in one hand, a small neatly fashioned book. Walking into a now lit room, she closed the door behind her and set the lock into place; she somewhat allowed the sway of the ship on the water to carry her weight to an chair of metal make in front of a stong wooden desk. Half noting how cold the metal felt on her exposed back and shoulders, she dropped the lamp and book onto the desk, opening the latter with a sigh of impatience, finding going through the motions themselves annoying and dull. With her cold stare drifting across the pages of her jouirnal, she allowed one last look of caution towards the locked door before dragging herself off into an immersion into a world of her own making. This routine was more annual than anything, yet its significance was never clearly defined for her. As if rediscovering herself all over again, she drifted off into the journal containing pieces of herself, noting with slight amusement how neat yet childish her handwriting seemed, the letters obviously given much care and thought.            Passage 1         Once, I was but a normal girl with normal things and a normal life. For the first four and a half years of my life, I either was roused from my sleep by the smell of flowers, or the gentle blowing of a chilled wind. I would always run downstairs from my room to view the light welcoming me from the little hole in the door. My mother was always beautiful and loving, so kind and intelligent; it was hardly a wonder that every time I saw her it felt like I would be swallowed by her radiance, as if her very being threatened to take my everything into her. Then stereotypically as things often do, the world went wrong. Well on my way into my fifth year our tiny settlement was set upon by slavers. After razing their way through every other home in the vicinity they of course broke into ours. My mother attempted to negotiate with the filthy men to spare me. She would go willingly without any resistance if they only allowed me to go free. My kind, loving mothers radiance was so very great that she was unflinchingly and unthinkingly willing to throw her life away for the sake of her child. Afraid, I naturally wanted to go along with her choice. I mean, being a young weak and fearful child, it was natural that my first priority was my own safety beyond that of my own radiant mother. However, something inside of me blackened. That light would snuff itself out and leave me behind, all without asking me in the first place if I would even want that! Even worse, she was doing it on the pretence that leaving her radiant echo of a daughter behind all alone to fend for herself was a better answer? I dont believe that one bit. Perhaps instead of risking having to deal with and care for me as her child and fellow captive, she saw this as her chance to get rid of me altogether. Such a person would no longer be radiant and beautiful. She would just be an ugly mass of lies. Using the things I learned from my book about the body, I grabbed a nearby candle holder and struck her on the pressure point where her skull and spine connected. Remembering the entire time to smile, I used what little wits & courage I could gather to express my desire to accompany them, vowing to serve whatever need they required without complaint or fail. Emphasizing my greater potential as someone younger and weaker, they eventually agreed to take me along provided I could follow my first order: To destroy my home and my mothers(still living) body. Without hesitation I grabbed a candle and traveled into the cellar, lighting fire to the oil we used for lamps and burning wood. Having used the corner furthest from the staircase, the flames would take a little time to find their way to the house. After being bound in chains and bombarded with scary words, I was thrown into a cage on the back of a cart, and given a clear view on my former home as I rode away-clearly their intent being to break my spirit as soon as possible, although such concerns were malms from my mind. Based on how hard I struck her, and the point that was given blunt trauma, she should have a roused with a rather nasty headache not long after we departed. After recovering from her initial groggyness, her senses would have picked up the burning wood below her. Assuming the flames did not somehow overconsume at a rate faster than expected, she would have had plently of time to gain her bearings, move away from the danger, and survive with minimal to no burns. The house was also supported by stones, so there was little risk of a sudden collapse until the flames completely destroyed all wooden supports, a process that would mean the destruction of whoever remained inside anyway. Observing the unfolding chaos on my former home currently, I expected to feel some sadness or pain at the loss of everything I knew being taken in under two hours. There was nothing however. I simply did not care that everything was changing, and I felt absolutely concern for my mother either. I did not care about anything at all. Remember that.   Passage 432          I have finally pinpointed the exact time that the sudden change in my perception began. In the year 1572, there was a sudden outbreak of a phenomena known as the echo. The effects varied slightly from person to person, but this is the closest description of the current condition my eyes have been afflicted with since before this incredibly inconvenient Calamity struck. I am able to relive the past events of the lives of others. Unable to control it, I conducted various tests aimed to find the trigger for the echo. After many unfortunate failures I remembered the basic information that it would vary from person to person, and so began to test on myself, finding rather quickly that my trigger happened to be literally how my eyes processed light! Upon extensive research I found that light apparently carries something similar to waves in the water, of course with obvious differences but similar nonetheless, and completely impossible to percieve with the naked eye. Frustrated that I would need to concoct some tool to even begin researching further into the echo, it dawned on me that rather than concocting a new tool to further my research, I simply needed to concoct new EYES. My experience in alchemy however was not at a level that I should attempt to dive into theoretical experiments on myself and expect perfect success. In the end, while my eyes can now percieve the waves of light necessary to trigger the echo, they now also apparently "capture" light. On the positive side, this aids greatly with seeing in areas devoid or lacking light, my eyes now using the waves expelling from my eyes to reflect a clear picture of solid mass back into them. On the negative side, once my eyes capture too much light they overload, apparently unable to process the data any further, rendering sudden blindness for unpredictable amounts of time.Beyond that, my dark blue eyes that my father adored are now..altered. Leaving that issue and its solution aside, I now had all the tools I required to begin researching into the echo. Perhaps this ability could assist me in finding my papa? Allowing these thoughts to eat into my psyche like parasites I began testing vigorously. While initiating the echo was simple enough once mastering the process of manipulating light captured in my eyes, the next challenge presented itself in the application. How to use it? While snooping through the lives of others was surely interesting and useful in its own way, such a boring way of sifting through information was more or less useless in the face of my current system. So the next experiment involved testing stimuli within the echo itself. For instance, if one could experience points in anothers past as if they were actually there, then that means what you are actually viewing is not a memory of something that has transpired, but rather the reflection of a memory adapted to transpire as if you were actually there yourself at the time of occurence, with a set and unchangeable ending set in place. With this theory in mind, I plunged myself into memories with the assumption that the reflections within the memories themselves would almost always react in a way similar to their real world counterpart. Most tests proved successful to the letter. With this new tool at my disposal, it became possible to gauge how others would react to certain stimuli without having to do it in the flesh. Multiple choices attained! That said, the side effects of continued and constant use are rather....undesireable, making this new tool one to be used with both care and....well...caution.        Passage 523         I have found another interesting use for my abilities! Similar to the funneling multiple choice method, I discovered that its far less stressful and less time consuming AND dangerous to simply- A loud creak on the door nearby snaps Pheria out of her delightful world of self immersion. Immediately standing and drawing the the custom axe her father made for her, unfolding the deceptively heavy weapon instantly, walking fearlessly towards the source of the creaking.    Part 2-Not Lonely       Dante could do nothing but blink slowly at the young Miqo'te girl sitting in the tree a small ways away from him, feeling reassured that his troubled expression was hidden behind his mask. Taking but a moment to process everything that she had just said, he weighed his options.  On one hand, the girl was clearly inexperienced at her job. Going for the overly dramatic appearance when hiring him wasnt that strange,but dangling such enticing information in front of his face without a clear escape route or having him in some position that would make ambush easier was clearly the mistake of an amateur. Even worse was her location-a lone and brittle looking tree alone in the middle of Thanalan, and having no weapons with range to speak of. If he wanted, he could snap the tree with a well placed punch and be upon her before she met with a painful collision with the ground, using further pain as a means to tell him everything she knows.  On the other hand however she may simply be a hireling to hire him. In this case, she would know nothing of import, and the real employer behind this entire scene would leave forever possibly with him being left to stumble in the dark and having no way to get closer to his goals. Further, assuming she is the true informant, harming her may forever seal her lips anyway-some people tend to be strangely spiteful like that.      After going over the options in his head quickly Dante allowed himself a nod in the girls direction. "Your name is P'Lami right? I will work for you." Dante truly had no emotion to speak of, instead feeling a wave of skeptiscism and apathy wash over him in its place like a defense against impending disappointment. P'Lami however, was perhaps wearing a face reminiscient of the embodiment of joy itself. Flipping from the tree with suprising agility made even more suprising considering how old and brittle the tree seemed, she landed with relative ease and little sound of impact in front of Dante. Still smiling, she beckoned him to follow her, tail swaying to and fro as she went. Suddenly turning and grabbing Dante in a tight hug, she teleported them both to an unknown destination.     The red haired Elezen woman slowly prepared a pitcher of water. Having heard the entire exchange via linkpearl, she knew that the man in question had accepted the job-and around now would be undergoing the "test" to prove that he is indeed the man in question. Her elegant fingers enjoying the cold sensation of the glass on her skin, she idly allowed herself to sit without thinking, drifting with her fingers across the table onto a small pile of papers. Focusing her eyes onto the pile, she raised them to her face, her green eyes reflecting the stark white and black of ink and paper.     "Dante the Shortblade.." she said aloud, reading over the uncommonly small profile. Exact date of entrance into the world of assassination unknown. Locations most sighted are Coerthas and Limsa Lominsa, prior to the Calamity. Contracts ranging from miniscule to high Class. Erratic activity record. Commonly known in society as someone who will do anything if payed the proper amount of coin, uncommonly making his willingness to kill rather public to any who ask. age unknown....classification of Dunesfolk or Plainsfolk unknown....Teeth confirmed to be uncommonly sharp, and confirmed use in combat....assassination methods considered increasingly animilistic in reflection to the difficulty of the hit. "Ugh...." Bonslette squirms in place while considering how she was to deal with such a person. Went inactive approximately six years ago, then disappeared altogether from most documentation and majority of populations memories five years ago, very few documentation even remaining crediting his existence...."Gods, this man sounds like a monster that would hide under my bed at night, or at the very least  something told to children at night to keep them obedient!" Lost in her nightmarish imaginings, Bonslette finally broke her expression of stoicness, her eyebrows creasing in worry. "I dont wanna meet him~! It isnt fair I dont want to do it I dont want to I dont wanna!!!" Half rolling about on the table, she allowed herself a few minutes to have her freakout, returning to her original position and coughing as if someone had witnessed the act when she finally finished.      "At any rate, he likely wont make it here. His test consisted of  fighter four of our most accomplished agents at once, followed by another assassin of similarly estimated ability-all fights to the death. If he went soft six years ago, then he wont be lasting long against our test, let alone comple-" Bonslette was not able to finish her audible self reassurance, as suddenly Dante burst through the door himself, having kicked the door in, with a nervous and uncomfortable looking P'Lami following a ways behind him, refusing to look in any set direction for long.   His cloak and mask were splattered with blood, and for a second Bonslette thought she saw a flicker of light flash behind the eyeholes of his mask. "This person is a monster.." she thought aloud, covering her mouth and opening her eyes wide with panic as she realized what she had just done. Contrary to her belief, she was not immediately smashed into jelly and forced to bear witness to the gruesome consumption of her flesh in her dying moments. Instead, he sat down next to her on the table and stared quietly at her, ears wiggling slowly as he waited for further instruction. Although still terrified of the man, Bonslette thought that she could feel a semblance of similar longing from him as he sat patiently, awaiting her words.         I dislike this woman, he thought, head racing with emotions that burned at his nerves like hot coal on ice. Why am I the one who is always called a monster? What exactly have I done but what they have asked? Arent they the monsters for asking me to kill people as nothing more than a stupid test!? I cant take it. I want to tell them. I want to say it. I want to make them feel what I feel about them! But I cant. They know who has my daughters axe. If it really is Pheria...then I will have a purpose again. I wont be useless. If it is her killer, then.......well I can avenge her. I will make the killer feel every single bit of my hatred for them before I allow them to die in the most painful way possible. And then I will have nothing again. But I'll find something. Im not lonely at all. I'll show her that I will not need her, even if she is dead. That is a contradiction. No it isnt. You seem really crazy when you argue with yourself in your head you know? But Im not crazy. Point made. This is just self reflection, nothing more. Stop reading more into it than necessary, you are simply another side of my personality taking a more conscious but temporary form to assist in self value. Like a duel ego, you are the opposite and antagonizing thoughts racing through my head to hamper proper and rational thought. You will not be successful while my daughter is the subject of the discussion. Your daughter huh? Are you even aware of what a father is? Arent you simply using her to combat that consuming feeling of loneliness and desire for acceptance? "...." Wiping the blood from his cloak with his glove, he awaited the information he so desperately wanted.      Part 3-Plastic Life               Dantes mind was a torrent of confusion and irritation as he rocked about in the boat off of the coast, mind reeling in desperation to see a definitive end to all of the madness of the day. The night air did little to cool him down, and the small splashes of water here and there did little to alleviate his mood at all. If anything, all the further stimuli was causing even more irritation than reducing, his goal in mind a place that he needed to be at NOW. Unused to this feeling of urgency, Dante did not know how to deal with himself. Expecting his worries to ease as the ship that he intended to board came into view, his desperation only grew. Realizing that it was irrational, yet unable to stop himself, he jumped from the boat to swim to the ship, unsure what was motivating him, but knowing that he had to get there as soon as possible. In his rush, Dante neglected to remember that he was wearing his heavily modified armor. Its weight was enough to make him tired after just a few hours of simply moving, and the density was recently proven thick enough to halt the penetration of a serrated spear. That said, he began to sink like a rock. Realizing his mistake he quickly began to unlatch the armor from his body as quickly as his body could find them. Making his way to the top with only his gauntlets and sword in hand, he threw his cloak into the blue without hesitation when he realized the resistance it was earning from the water.     Finally reaching the ship half dead tired already from all the mindless struggling, he clawed his way onto the deck, standing to see a group of men standing on deck, all with swords and axes, and all of them drawn and ready to kill. Realizing that all of them had their attention focused on the lower deck of the ship- or rather the entrance leading to it, Dante moved rather quickly, walking through the crowd while still dripping wet. Upon being touched by the first man to his left, Dante immediately pushed him overboard, the splash earning him the attention of the rest of the crew. Observing carefully he counted out the opposition, assessing the situation. Eight. Eight is the number of people between myself and Pheria. If only they were not here....oh. Thats right. Im going to have to kill them anyway. They are about to attack me. Is it better this way? I dont want to think about it. I only need to reach Pheria. Without her, I will have no real purpose again. No real place.   Almost in the most cliche way possible, the man closest to Dante raised his sword into the air and screamed at the top of his lungs, "Lets kill this little squirt first then we can 'andle the bitch down below!" He was the next to die, as Dantes exhaustion gave way to rage, his sword pierced all the way through the mans chest down to the hilt. Feeling his eyes grow hot, he grabbed the dying mans swordarm and lunged it with effort towards an axe wielder. The man managed to block the attack, only to be caught off guard by Dantes heavy punch to his groin, made even more painful by his weighted gauntlets.Pushing him aside, Dante barely managed to move his head to the right in time to dodge a thrust from yet another sword, earning a scratch on his mask in the process. Channeling his rage again, Dante broke the mans arm and kneed the man in the throat, killing him.  Not even half way through the men, and already Dantes fatigue had begun to stretch him to his limits. Walking around and fighting in the armor all day had taken its toll, and the struggle in the water before his arrival was the final nail in the coffin of his stamina. Realizing that unless he moved quickly to flee or did something that would allow him to get to Pheria before the other men, then he would die, and he would fail. For some reason that thought made him more frantic than anything. Stuggling to keep his balance, Dante began to use the last of his stamina to compress air into his hands. Intending the blast to be a short burst, he allowed the sphere he usually created from the air currents to expand slightly, causing it to destabalize and propel him forward. Using this momentum, he jumped over an axeman in his way, using the second current to propel himself into the floorboards of the ship. As he expected, the solid impact caused the boat to rock and sway unnaturally with the waves, and caused almost everyone to lose their balance.  Uncaring of the final stoic Roegadyn in his way, fully armored as he was, and unsteadily clambered to his feet for the final charge. Opening his mouth to scream words he couldnt hold back at the top of his lungs, he lunged towards the man. "PHE-"   Dantes words were cut short by a sudden flash of light, followed by the sound of thunder, followed by the armored man flying painfully into Dante, throwing them both overboard. Struggling to gain his bearings, Dante forced his weary eyes open to take in the view above him. Water. Water as far as the eye could see, and the splintering remains of a ship sinking beneath the waves. Immediately realizing there was an explosion, Dante looked upon the remains of his hope, cindering and sinking into a blue abyss.    This means I no longer have a reason to live. I have no purpose.     Finding that he was not saddened by this revelation, Dante remembered his earlier feelings of skeptiscism and apathy, the things that felt painful were blocked by a shield of unfeeling nothingness. But even his apathy could not shield him from the emptiness of his own lacking. Realizing he failed, yet still unable to understand himself, he turned away from the ship and began to swim, knowing that his strength was not enough to carry him back to the shore as he was now. Slowly but surely, the biting cold of the water and the numbness of emptiness began to eat at his already dwindling strength, and his world was eventually engulfed in a pit of black.    Part4-We are all Dolls        Pheria awakened with a smile on her face. Dressing herself in especially elegant robes, she left her room and walked the streets of Limsa Lominsa. Today was especially bright, and with a wealth of people to talk to, her day never once became boring. Deciding that she was done playing for the day, she walked happily and whistleing to the building that her two favorite helpers made their residence-F'Lami and Bonslette. Upon entering she recieved the full story of the events two days prior. Apparently her rising protege had found a lead on the man that she had been searching for for moons beyond counting. Instead of letting her know immediately, they thought it would be more fun for everyone involved if they simply allowed them to meet by suprise, and all would be well. Unfortunately, the ship on which she was boarded was targeted by slavers or some such unsavory group, and Pheria had opted to escape in the flashiest way possible, by igniting all of the explosive barrels she kept below deck with a candle half burnt through over a score of gunpowder. Using her removable window as a flotation device of sorts, she happily swam her way to safety. Unbeknownst to her though, her father just happened to board said ship after the plan had been set into motion, and without even knowing it, she basically subjected to the one person she had spent years searching for to a welcome back conflagration.      Keeping her smile in the face of the two teary eyed girls trying to find the words to apologize for their fatal error, she embraced them both in a deep and sincere hug of affection.  "Aw, no need to get all hung up on that! Im not someone whos going to get all hung up over something like that anyway. I love you both, and that isnt going to change just because of one little mistake. After all, we are RADIANT people are we not? We shall love all equally, and hate all just as equally. Hmhmhmhm..."     Pheria knew how important it was to replicate genuine emotion here, and even managed to do it perfectly, but beneath all of the words and hugs, as she watched lovingly over the two girls as they cried their regrets away into her chest, she felt the overpoweringly powerful urge to kill them both. Like a thorn that refused to be removed, it twisted itself ever deeper into her heart like acid. In that moment, she was faced with the option to move on, or kill her new family on the crime of causing her to kill her old one. Realizing that her body had already made its decision, she released the two weeping girls onto the floor to grab a candle on a nearby table, walking outside onto a balcony, taking in the cold air.      Taking a small neat book from a pouch on her waist, she held it above the candle, watching the flames consume the pages and binding. Still holding her wonderful smile, she dropped the book from the balcony into the water below, watching it sink into the water just as the ship had.  "Im not sad at all," She said aloud, still holding her wonderful smile. "I wonder what else interesting I can do now? Hmhmhm....this shall be fun"     Feeling the emptyness eat away at her stomach like hunger, she could only offer these words of hope for sustenance.             Feeling a familiar beak pecking at his head, Dante opened his eyes. Feeling sand packed uncomfortably into all kinds of unsavory places where sand shouldnt be, he knew he was alive, although he could think of no explanation as to how. Looking at the chocobo with purple and red feathers, he noticed that her entire body was soaking wet as well. "I guess I must have swam far enough for you to get me. I know you cant possibly swim...right?" Knowing that he would recieve no answer, he inquired anyway. "Aeka....Im hungry."    Upon hearing the mention of food, Aeka perked up immediately and bolted off to most likely find some, just as he wanted. Noticing that she was no longer within range, he allowed the pressure in his eyes to overflow, the tears sticking to his face a bit due to the sand and the mask. Sitting up, he tried to come to terms with his loss.     "I am nothing again. I'll just find something else to do, somewhere else to be useful. I....Ive got to work." Clambering weakly to his feet, he was immediately thrown back off by a strong gust of wind, followed by a piece of paper smacking him in his head, knocking him onto his side. Irritably snatching the paper from its place between his ring earrings, he opened it to stare at the contents before ripping it to shreds.  "..............Sentinels...Ark?"                                                                                                                     -Lie to Myself- End RE: -Lie to Myself-[Shortstory] - Dante Abigor - 11-25-2013 Just a small correction. In Passage 2, I meant 1562, not 72. My current situation makes it apparently impossible to do edits, so this is the best I can do yo. Anyways....effort made. Woot.