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+--- Thread: My Shy Guide to Role Playing (/showthread.php?tid=7345)
RE: My Shy Guide to Role Playing - Saiden - 06-10-2014
While I am new to ARR, in my past roleplaying experience people tend to vastly overestimate the consequences if something goes wrong when they try to put themselves out there. There are a lot of roleplayers. There are a lot of opportunities. If you put yourself out there and try to involve yourself with a certain group of people and they react poorly, guess what - there are many more groups out there.Â
There is no roleplaying community in games this large that have authorities you must get in good with in order to continue roleplaying. Nobody can shut you out, no consequence can deflate all of your future roleplaying. If things go poorly, call them a bunch of ninnies in your head, learn from the experience if there are lessons to be learned, and find another group. And most importantly, love yourself and love your characters. Everything else will follow. ♥
RE: My Shy Guide to Role Playing - Rinh Hallani - 06-10-2014
Great post. I'm introverted and have to push myself to RP with people not known to me. It can get rather nerve wracking at times (even on my super outgoing alt because I'm totally 'faking it' with her) and this was the nudge I needed to dive in again. Thank you!
RE: My Shy Guide to Role Playing - U'roh Tia - 06-10-2014
Amazing post sir!
RE: My Shy Guide to Role Playing - Knight Kat - 06-11-2014
I could write an essay of advice, but if I had to choose a few key pieces of advice, it would be on how to find RP if you are shy.
Just look for fun. Do not be too specific in your search for RP.
If I was bored, I worked on my character wiki, or explored in-game. I entertained myself while keeping my eyes open for RP opportunities. I made a scouting journal that gave me reason to explore in-game, and I watched a lot of random RP while doing so. There is always leveling your character as well, but that does not help in a search for RP. That brings me to my next piece of advice.
Be willing to watch and learn.
Watch RP and be fine with just watching if you are too nervous to insert yourself. Sometimes my shy RP friends come to RP with one of my groups, but get discouraged if my character can't engage them directly the moment they arrive, so they leave.
YOU CANNOT GET RP IF YOU LEAVE.
Get back there and RP with some of the others. Become part of the group. If you focus on just your one friend, your character will never meet others, and never be part of the group. However, if your character is just like that, its totally fine. Just do not let yourself OOCly rage-quit because of something minor. Adapt to the scene, do not expect the scene to adapt to you.
If you can't insert your character right away. Watch the scene awhile. Some entertaining stuff might happen, and an opportunity can present itself. Enjoy the show, and maybe throw in a few emotes every so often to show them that your character is ICly watching them.
Do not have expectations, and do not give up.
It does not matter what your character is, or what your character does, do not go searching with expectations and limitations. You want to enter a bar? Do it. "But my character does not drink alcohol." Then get some damn tea. Want to go to Thanalan? "But my character does not go to Thanalan." You had some bad tea, and while intoxicated, took a caravan to Thanalan. Your character wakes up there; not knowing how the heck he/she got there.
Yes, those are silly reasons, and I am kinda joking, but not entirely. Come up with a reason to do what you want to do. Come up with a reason for your character to exploit an opportunity. Do not try to come up with reasons not to do something, or things will get really frustrating in your search.
Keep searching with an open mind that is open to opportunities.
RE: My Shy Guide to Role Playing - Melodia - 06-11-2014
(06-11-2014, 09:36 AM)Knight Kat Wrote: Be willing to watch and learn.I am guilty of this and I know I have lost good chances because of this.
Watch RP and be fine with just watching if you are too nervous to insert yourself. Sometimes my shy RP friends come to RP with one of my groups, but get discouraged if my character can't engage them directly the moment they arrive, so they leave.
YOU CANNOT GET RP IF YOU LEAVE.
..........
Keep searching with an open mind that is open to opportunities.
 Please dont do this people. Dont be like old Ruru!! And that last line..very nice.
RE: My Shy Guide to Role Playing - C'kayah Polaali - 06-11-2014
I love all this advice in here. I love it.
If I could add one thing to it that's made the biggest difference for me: RP like you're a supporting character in someone else's story. Because, to them, you are. Everyone's the hero of their story. Everyone. If you walk in the room like you're "Mighty Gronad the Barbarian, striding among the human worms" and expect everyone to fall all over you, you're going to be disappointed. If, however, you're Gronad the Barbarian and you couldn't help but overhear that RandomGuy's sister was captured by tribal Lalafells, and your own mother was killed by Lalafells and it left you feeling hollow inside so is there anything you could do to help... That's a different story entirely.
Enable other people's RP. Do that, and you'll never have an end to people wanting to RP with you.
RE: My Shy Guide to Role Playing - Askier - 06-11-2014
(06-11-2014, 10:22 AM)C Wrote: I love all this advice in here. I love it.^ This, I totally agree with this. Some of the most fun I've ever had while rping was deliberately acting as a support character for someone or, even better, as the antogonsit to some ones character. Its fun, rewarding and a different experience than trying to be the hero.
If I could add one thing to it that's made the biggest difference for me: RP like you're a supporting character in someone else's story. Because, to them, you are. Everyone's the hero of their story. Everyone. If you walk in the room like you're "Mighty Gronad the Barbarian, striding among the human worms" and expect everyone to fall all over you, you're going to be disappointed. If, however, you're Gronad the Barbarian and you couldn't help but overhear that RandomGuy's sister was captured by tribal Lalafells, and your own mother was killed by Lalafells and it left you feeling hollow inside so is there anything you could do to help... That's a different story entirely.
Enable other people's RP. Do that, and you'll never have an end to people wanting to RP with you.Â
RE: My Shy Guide to Role Playing - Aya - 06-11-2014
C'kayah's advice is amazingly good advice, and probably the best way to find meaningful and fun RP that you'll ever find
RE: My Shy Guide to Role Playing - Tiergan - 06-11-2014
This thread is full of awesome, awesome advice.
RE: My Shy Guide to Role Playing - Hiroshu - 06-11-2014
(06-11-2014, 10:22 AM)C Wrote: If I could add one thing to it that's made the biggest difference for me: RP like you're a supporting character in someone else's story.
Quote:Enable other people's RP. Do that, and you'll never have an end to people wanting to RP with you.
A thousand times yes. I met up with Shuei Setsuna for the first time yesterday, and after a brief introductory RP, we decided in-character to go questing together. I joked OOC, "Hiroshu has joined the party! (victory music)" and put him on follow. And that was exactly how I played it from then on: as though I was a supporting character in his party.
It's still true that you are always the hero of your own story, but it's just as fun being the cool side character in someone else's. Role playing is certainly improv, and improv is a team sport, but what makes role playing so unique is that six different role players are like six different authors writing six different novels at the same time.
Let your story adapt to the circumstances other role players put you in, and you'll be amazed at what can emerge. The difference, then, between typical storytelling and role playing is that you get to be an audience to your character just like everyone else. You don't know yet what's going to happen to them. That's truly what makes it fun.
Knight Kat Wrote:It does not matter what your character is, or what your character does, do not go searching with expectations and limitations. You want to enter a bar? Do it. "But my character does not drink alcohol." Then get some damn tea. Want to go to Thanalan? "But my character does not go to Thanalan." You had some bad tea, and while intoxicated, took a caravan to Thanalan. Your character wakes up there; not knowing how the heck he/she got there.
That's a great point. I'd say stop worrying about what your character would NEVER do. Start thinking about why they did it this time. Stories are interesting not when everything goes to plan, but when the plan gets ruined. That's what changes your character over time and allows them to grow.
RE: My Shy Guide to Role Playing - Senah Bajihri - 06-11-2014
This guide and the rest of this thread are amazing. Thank you for posting it. ^_^
(06-10-2014, 04:00 AM)Hiroshu Wrote: If you're shy, with a shy character, people love to try and pry open shy people, in real life, and in RP. Put yourself on the chopping block and tell yourself, "This is for art."This is so true. I often start off RPing in a new setting with a shy character (or at least one who's not a people person for one reason or another), and people just love trying to drag those characters out of their shells. And I've gotta say, I love the character development that comes from it, especially when that character has some big reason for being that way.
Another ice breaker I've found that doesn't even require words is to do something eye-catching and/or unusual. For example, if your character has a pet, interact with that pet and emote out the pet's actions. Someone who comes along might be interested in your animal/magical companion. Even if your character doesn't do anything unusual, emote out the normal things they're doing. That way, people will at least know you're interested in RPing and will be more likely to approach you.
RE: My Shy Guide to Role Playing - FreelanceWizard - 06-11-2014
(06-11-2014, 04:35 PM)Senah Bajihri Wrote: For example, if your character has a pet, interact with that pet and emote out the pet's actions. Someone who comes along might be interested in your animal/magical companion.
Having one's carbuncle or faerie do amusing things is a great way to break the ice. It's less "face-threatening" because it's not your character potentially being rejected, too.
Some techniques are: have the pet be interested in someone and try interact with them, resulting in you going over to apologize; have the pet be playful with you, such as by stealing something of yours and running over to the other person, resulting in an interaction when you try to get the item back; have the pet want to tease someone (this works best with the faerie) and result in your character having to quickly apologize; have the pet be affectionate or otherwise helpful to you, attracting others who are interested in the cuteness. Of course, one doesn't want one's pet to steal the show or be disruptive, but within the bounds of good taste (or as discussed in advance by /tell), pet actions can be an easy way to start up RP.
RE: My Shy Guide to Role Playing - Maia - 06-11-2014
(06-11-2014, 01:02 PM)Hiroshu Wrote:(06-11-2014, 10:22 AM)C Wrote: [quote=Knight Kat]
It does not matter what your character is, or what your character does, do not go searching with expectations and limitations. You want to enter a bar? Do it. "But my character does not drink alcohol." Then get some damn tea. Want to go to Thanalan? "But my character does not go to Thanalan." You had some bad tea, and while intoxicated, took a caravan to Thanalan. Your character wakes up there; not knowing how the heck he/she got there.
That's a great point. I'd say stop worrying about what your character would NEVER do. Start thinking about why they did it this time. Stories are interesting not when everything goes to plan, but when the plan gets ruined. That's what changes your character over time and allows them to grow.
This. This this this this. I've heard many people say OoCly "Man, I would love to go to that, but my character never would!" A lot of people. A looooooot of people. Sometimes I've even tried helping by giving theoretical scenarios, but it usually feels like throwing dry pasta at a wall. The intent is there, but nothing sticks.
I've played a stoic, no-nonsense sort of character before, who was a huge recluse on top of it. I was able to shove him into all sorts of awkward situations that he greatly disapproved of when I wanted to. He was at the beach party because his employers insisted that he chaperone. He begrudgingly went into that dangerous dungeon to collect some vital samples for his research. While he hated every minute of it, it was still a fun time for me, and I never felt that I was being "untrue" to my character for putting him into an element that made him uncomfortable. We're still the masterminds behind our characters - the grand orchestrators of all that happens in their world - not the other way around. ^^ So, if you really want to participate in something, just think of a reason. Everyone is motivated by something.
TL;DR: /emphatically agrees!
RE: My Shy Guide to Role Playing - Hiroshu - 06-12-2014
(06-11-2014, 06:46 PM)Maia Wrote: I've heard many people say OoCly "Man, I would love to go to that, but my character never would!" A lot of people. A looooooot of people. Sometimes I've even tried helping by giving theoretical scenarios, but it usually feels like throwing dry pasta at a wall. The intent is there, but nothing sticks.
Quote:We're still the masterminds behind our characters - the grand orchestrators of all that happens in their world - not the other way around. ^^ So, if you really want to participate in something, just think of a reason. Everyone is motivated by something.
Exactly! Don't write your character completely into a corner by themselves. There's a good chance you're letting your own shyness hold them back. Get in there and, if you feel awkward, express that through the character. Someone's bound to pick up on it and throw you a bone.
RE: My Shy Guide to Role Playing - Saiden - 06-12-2014
(06-12-2014, 03:08 PM)Hiroshu Wrote: Exactly! Don't write your character completely into a corner by themselves. There's a good chance you're letting your own shyness hold them back. Get in there and, if you feel awkward, express that through the character. Someone's bound to pick up on it and throw you a bone.
This is always a fine option. If you are very shy, actually writing a shy character can help provide an out for you to actually have them act shy. Shy hooks are still hooks.
And the opposite is also true, namely, trying to create an extremely outgoing character to force you to fulfill their personality and get past your own shyness. But the former option seems to work the best for me.