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+--- Thread: [Completed Journal] Blonde Moments (Lilithium Altair) (/showthread.php?tid=8499)
RE: Blonde Moments. (Lilithium Altair's Ramblings) ((Journal!)) - Parvacake - 12-21-2014
((I'm off between now and the 27th for the holidays! Hope everyone has a Merry Christmas or, you know, whatever.))
He was sound asleep in her arms, but the fear still lingered. The anxiety, the angst, the pit in her stomach that any moment now Zaiaku would come through that door and take him away from her again. Lili ducked her head and nestled her face against his soft downy hair with a shaken sigh. "My heart...my little one..." Nearby, Mikh'a let out a sleepy gurgle from his crib. Tummy full of his ba-ba and his own little hand sewn teddy nestled into his side. Ado had his own cradled to him, and Lili gave herself a moment of pride that they both liked the Starlight gift she made for them.
The moment of peace ended quickly, and the woman clung her Lalafell to her once again.
Even if it ended with the Brass Blades carrying her away kicking and howling for murder, she'd never let someone lay a hand against any of her children ever again.
Never again.
RE: Blonde Moments. (Lilithium Altair's Ramblings) ((Journal!)) - Parvacake - 12-31-2014
She couldn't do it.
The moment was nearly perfect and she couldn't find the courage to do anything but sit there blubbering like a dummy before falling back on the 'let's nap and head back!' excuse. Pathetic. She proposed to C'kayah easily enough, though the context and situation was different. But this time?
She got scared. And stopped herself.
Lili ran her fingers through her hair, sitting on one of the stools in front of the food bar with a plate of uneaten eggs and a glass of milk before her. It was quiet, with the children napping and various members still in their rooms or out and about taking care of business and their personal affairs. The plants were watered, dishes done, groceries put away, dinner plans ready to start prepping later in the afternoon, the craftsmen area downstairs cleaned up...
Yet she found herself jittery. Jingling her right foot as her legs remained crossed and the eggs growing cold in front of her.
Why did she stop? It wasn't like she cared what others thought, or that she was getting any younger. She planned to dissolve her marriage to Ghislan when he decided to saunter back around, and Ado and Mikh'a loved Locke and his soft spoken ways and kindness.
Was it fear of rejection? No, that couldn't be it. They talked about the subject more often then not. Fear of loneliness? Not it either. She knew (without thinking it to be self absorbed, simply factual) that companionship wasn't something she'd have to live without again. She was comfortable in her own skin, and knew she was quite the catch in her own right.
So then...what?
The blonde stared down at her plate of egg like it held all the answers.
"You don't have anything to worry about," she muttered. "You were fried before you even learned how to blink."
The yolk continued to sit there with no answer to her musings.
RE: Blonde Moments. (Lilithium Altair's Ramblings) ((Journal!)) - Parvacake - 01-18-2015
((OOC: Instead of an RP journal entry, I'm going to list some songs that have fit the RP I've done with Lili lately.
More stories will come after 2.5!))Scene: This is an interesting song for some of the events with Lili as of lately involving her ex fiance, C'kayah. Granted it's a little more haunted then what I would describe for her, but it captures some of the essence of what it's been like with him being on the fringes of her life after months of not even seeing his face. Now it seems like she can't go more then a few days without someone mentioning him or her needing to get a hold of him for one reason or another. On top of that, one of her employees is currently dating him and while the girl talk they've shared was oddly therapeutic for Lili, it brought its own dosage of pain as well.
[youtube]PvQk5x_IgbI[/youtube]
Scene: Lili and Locke are officially engaged, with the proposal looking over the Burning Wall. A place Locke had resigned himself to go to and die. Him talking about his history and Lili seeing for herself what his home has been reduced too, there's a lot of phrases in this song that just fit. "Oh together we can brave all the things we never knew So I’m making room on a boat I built for one We can sail into the sun, till our skin’s as tough as diamonds" is one, while the first of "We were racing down a road littered with crosses" strikes close to the heart of the tragedies they both have overcome.
[youtube]te6GEfpJjks[/youtube]
Scene: Being a leader isn't easy. Lili's amassed an eclectic group of employees and it's been a fun ride. Though even when there are those who disagree with her and her methods or who don't agree with some of the employees she keeps around, she still somehow manages to get loyalty that few others can boast of possessing. Her maternal charm? Her fairness? Hard to say. This song seems to encompass all of it rather well.
[youtube]X_CyK3zPigw[/youtube]
Scene: Since Ado has been home from being kidnapped, Lili has done what she can to not only ensure his safety, but to make Zaiaku pay. From calling in favors to old contacts and even getting help from unexpected places, this song is the first lullaby Lili ever sang to him when she met him in the Quicksand and is the same one she sings to him and his little brother Mikh'a to this day.
[youtube]aRPyoPGO2vo[/youtube]
RE: Blonde Moments. (Lilithium Altair's Ramblings) ((Journal!)) - Parvacake - 01-28-2015
((OOC: Originally posted here on the Society site, I thought I'd add it to Lili's journal thread here to show some of the RP and story behind Lili's two girls
Enjoy!))[youtube]0dYlvdLdK9w[/youtube]
Sarameda and Deisarameda Silverlark were the only daughters born to Lilithium Altair and Amore Silverlark. An unintentional coupling that was a product of alcohol and Amore's fear of dying without any family heirs to discover a cure to their mysterious illness. With that fear, he used a rather intoxicated Lili to meet those ends back in her youth, and shortly afterwards passed onward. While the girls were raised by their mother and 'father' Ghislan, they knew very little about their birth father. Whether this has been on purpose or simply because their he was an enigma even to his closest friends, they still did not know.
The girls were born normally. Healthy, pink cheeked, chubby little babies with all fingers and toes intact. For a short time, it was thought that perhaps the illness of the Silverlarks didn't touch the girls. That mayhaps it skipped a generation. Unfortunately, they were proven wrong.
Very, very wrong.
When the girls were nearly four cycles of age, Sara (the youngest and more gentle hearted of the two) cut herself at the beach near the Nightwing family home. The blood came out thick and dark and would not stop. The tiny tot might have died if it wasn't for the alchemical skills of her mother and a conjurer who happened to be in a village close by. From that point forward, it became clear that the girls had to be protected and taken care of far more closely then your average child. Their older brother, Khavan, worked alongside his parents to make it easier while Lili began the engrossing task of finding a way to cure them.
And so...the years passed. The girls grew up to be beautiful with their mismatched eyes, cream colored skin, and willowy builds. Like nymphs, or even dancers. Though as they grew older, they grew more sickly with Sara getting the worst of it. She would be confined to a bed for days or even weeks on end, catching any sort of bug or sickness that the season brought only amplified due to her poor health.
While Sara grew sick, Dei grew bitter. Having always craved to have the life of a normal girl, being restricted by her sickness only made her more defiant to her family. Only Sara's gentle voice brought her any tranquility, but over time not even that could quell the rage in her heart. Instead it only made her more angry: would her sister die before her? Would their mother ever manage to find a cure? When would the endless tests, blood samples, bouts of bedrest, bleeding, and fragility stop?
While both sisters felt this silent agony between each other, it never manifested as much as it did until one day in the late winter months. Only a few moons after the one cycle anniversary of the Calamity...
"It could work!"
"We don't know what his tests might do, Dei..."
"But we could at least bloody try."
"And at what cost?"
It was not the first time both had had this argument. Weeks prior, they were faced with the latest option of treatment to see if it could make a dent towards their condition: a man in their mother's company by the name of Orrian who felt that perhaps turning to the dark magicks of the Void might be the answer. When he proposed this to Sara after she went to him for help, the young girl stuttered and fled from him as fast as her legs could take her.
For her? There was no question: it wouldn't need to come to that. Dei had been eager to jump at the chance though, to try something outside of the norm. Something! Anything! Which led them back to the same argument that they had off and on for the last number of weeks.
Dei shook her head at her twin. While they were identical save the mirroring color of their eyes, Dei also had added black streaks in her hair to make it easier for outsiders to tell them apart. The cast of her eyes and her more aggressive and neutral body language was a sharp contrast to Sara's more gentle and demure nature. Even with just how one twin leaned against the far wall (Dei) and how the other was sitting in a chair (Sara). Everything about Sara from her clasped hands, proper posture, and straightened shoulders spoke of ladylike elegance and poise that she learned from her mother (even though Lili had grown far more lax about such things over the years).
Deisarameda, however, had slouched posturing. Arms crossed, one leg crossed over the other, her hair in a messy pony tail and her clothes tomboyish. Years prior, they were almost impossible to tell apart. But their differing ways of handling their shared disease had been them not only easier to tell apart, but also made them drift from one another.
The most prominent difference that came forth in the stillness of Sara's room at the Society house was that Dei was willing to cross over into means and devices that Sara would only gasp at. Orrian's offer being the best example.
Once more, Sara quickly shook her head to her sister's pleas. "It's dangerous. Mother has already told us what has happened to some of her employees who have tampered with the Void." When it was just the two of them, Sara's stutter was completely gone. Why should she feel nervous with her other half? But the way the conversation was gradually growing more heated had her feeling more nervous.
"Locke is not a good example. What happened to him was an accident that he is paying the price for. But what of Liandri, V'lanya, whatever the hells her name is? Or Sitting Ox?"
"None of those would work for varying reasons and you know that! Why are you trying so hard to look into the darkness as a solution?!" Sara's voice rose an octave, and even trembled at the end. Out of fear. Out of worry. Normally it would have deterred her twin.
Not this time.
Dei straightened up against the wall and smacked her fist against the wood, making Sara jump. "Dammit!" She cursed, louder then she meant too. "Do you want to die? Do you want to wait another few years, hoping something changes only for one of us to bleed out from a papercut or trying to have intimacy with someone and our hymen breaks? Or how about a trip on the docks, sister dear?"
Mention of the docks had Sara grimace. Meeting Richard Travers for the first time had been...disastrous. Embarrassing. She had tripped and cut her hand and the blood left a trail all the way to the Conjury Guild that Richard was kind enough to carry her too. "T-That's different-"
Dei rolled her eyes. "It's only different because someone was there to save you. Aren't you tired of that? Waiting to be saved, hoping the next treatment works, sighing after couples and families who have some shred of normalcy? Our own mother is getting her happily ever after since Daddy died, left, whatever that was while we're sitting here like a couple of old maids waiting for our time to come before it's even started!"
Shaking, she gripped onto her skirt to calm herself. "And you feel that we should just take a plunge into an abyss we know nothing about. What if something goes wrong? That rat on Orrian's shoulder was deformed, and likely from whatever experiments he's been performing on it." She stuttered for a moment before blurting out in a more panicked voice then she intended. "I don't want to be that man's next lab rat!"
With a snarl of frustration, knowing this conversation would lead to no where like it had the other times before, Dei turned to the door. "I'd rather be a lab rat then be dead before knowing what it's like to have something as normal as a sweetheart. Or even a pet cat!" As she stormed out, Dei slammed the door behind her so hard it made one of the picture frames on Sara's desk fall back. The glass hit the corner of the desk, a large crack growing down the middle.
Sara wasn't one for omens. But she also wasn't stupid.
RE: Blonde Moments. (Lilithium Altair's Ramblings) ((Journal!)) - Parvacake - 02-24-2015
As Emeraude left her office, Lili let out a small breath before glancing back at the map and linkpearl the woman had passed over to her. Another job, and now the third potential business arrangement/endeavor by the third Ishgardian that could give them future access past the gates. She never imagined their sights would start to be set so high considering where they came from originally: a collection of those who left Blacktalon and it's lack of proper structure.
Now?
She felt smug. Every time she ever passed through the first ward of the Goblet she felt smug. The rare times she'd see Kolhi'to or Darturu in and around Ul'dah she'd feel smug. She knew she shouldn't because it wasn't a nice emotion to experience, but Lili had a bigger house and more active employees and dammit it felt good to know that she succeeded where others had told her she couldn't.
But she didn't make it this far alone, and she always reminded herself of that. How could she not? Those like Rock, Locke, Katiti...they were all there in the beginning.
Now all that was left was to move forward. Starting with helping her husband.
Reaching into her back pocket, she pulled out a familiar little blue crystalline vial and closed her eyes before pouring the contents down her throat.
RE: Blonde Moments. (Lilithium Altair's Ramblings) ((Journal!)) - Parvacake - 02-27-2015
Locke Rinannis canted his head from side to side in consideration. "Hmm, depends if it was worth the effort." He grinned in her direction before sipping from his cup. "You didn't happen to hear the linkpearl, did you?"
Shaking her head, she crossed her arms over the tabletop and rested her eyes against her forearms. "No, I'm afraid I didn't."
Locke smiled to himself and rubbed his hand over her back. He cleared his throat and scritched the back of his head with his free hand. "W-well... It seems that..perhaps you may have left a bit of research around the house somewhere... And Sitting Ox thought it was a drink for him..."
Lili stiffened. He couldn't see it, but she was grimacing. There was a pause before her voice came forward again. "...Was it from a crystal vial and blue?"
He nodded quietly. "Mhm..."
"...He drank a Fantasia. What is he?"
Locke tried to keep his voice lighthearted. That always makes news better. "Ah, well, he's a Highlander now... Er, again, rather..?" The whole Sitting Ox and Ghislan thing still confused him.
Lili still didn't look up from her face being buried against her forearms. Wordlessly she pointed towards the wine rack. "I need two bottles, dear. Doesn't matter what they are."
"Of course, love."
He gently kissed the side of her head and moved toward the wine cabinet.
"He...ah, thought it best if you heard it from me."
She listened to his steps, her ears giving a faint twitch. "What's the first bottle you grabbed?"
Locke blinked down at the bottle. "Looks like rum."
"Lovely. Find Ox and set him on fire with it. I'll drink whatever is in the second bottle."
RE: Blonde Moments. (Lilithium Altair's Ramblings) ((Journal!)) - Parvacake - 03-18-2015
((OOC: Phew! Been a while since I got to write much! Between moving and getting situated plus the various RP I've been involved with it's been hard to take time aside to fill this in! It'll be in a broken format with only snippets from various RPs, logs, and things I'm writing down from memory to encompass what Lili has been up too. Also for the benefit of some old RP friends who have been asking the question: where did Lili go?))
"I...might be pregnant."
Locke stared across to his wife, blinking rapidly as he absorbed the words she told him. The cool desert air was refreshing at this evening hour in the Goblet, washing over them both and rustling golden and pale blonde hair about as the couple faced each other in the front yard of Locke's shop.
"...What?"
Meekly and uncertainly, Lili nodded. "I'm not...I'm not certain. But I have been feeling sick. The night of the Grindstone I didn't take my tea and that was...when..." She trailed off uncertainly and she could see some pink taint his cheeks. "Really?" His voice was soft, but he started to smile.
His smile brought one to her own lips.
"Really."
Lili continued to lean over the levecounter as C'kayah walked across the main room of her company house and back into the halls towards V'lanya's room with his wine in hand after small talk was exchanged. As soon as he was out of sight she sighed and rolled her eyes before dragging a hand down her face.
"Dammit, Li," she muttered to herself, hand still over her face. "I told you to keep it away from me."
Though her mood began to sour, she cast her eyes back down towards the levequest before her, the crystal glowing under the dim lighting. It depicted a woman on a snowy cliff edge and was not a design Lili had seen before. Which was to be expected since it was not of Eorzean make.
Gently palming the crystal sheet, she straightened up and began moving towards the front door as her hand moved up to her linkpearl.
"Rahsha? It's me. Listen..."
By the time she reached the docks and caught the silhouette of the Seeker looking over the water, her mood began to improve.
Three choices.
Her, Cyrus, or Ox.
As Locke slept besides her, Lili continued to stay away. Looking down at his sleeping form while reaching over to brush her fingertips along his cheekbone. Able to catch sight of the shadows his lashes caused while he dreamed peaceful dreams.
Which one would work?
Better yet...which ones wouldn't?
More importantly...
Was it worth it?
"WATCH OUT!"
As Chokho managed to slide out of the way of the giant falling icicle, Lili cast a quick look towards Rashi and Liandri, each in other directions fending off the hounds that seemed endlessly assaulting them. The depths of Snowcloak were frigid and she was only taking solace in the fact this was the end of the line and they were merely a aetheryte crystal away from home.
Emeraude better make this fucking worth her while.
Rashi's ax send one of the beasts sailing towards her and she was ready. Though her robe was heavy, the large slit in the front allowed for her legs to still be able to move. The side of her foot met the side of the hound's face with a crunch before it slid across the snowbank.
Only for another to take its' place as it lunged towards her.
"M-Mama?"
Lili looked up from her paper to look towards Sara, who stood fidgeting before her. Seeing her youngest daughter always made her smile, her demure and shy nature a refreshing break from some of the more callous or blase individuals she sometimes faced on a regular basis at the Society or in affiliated work.
"Yes?" She leaned back in her chair and tipped her glasses atop her head. "What is it?" Sara stepped closer into her office space and slowly sat down on the bench before her mother's work desk.
Though she didn't say anything at first. Instead, the youngest Silverlark twiddled her fingers in her lap. Just as Lili began to speak and ask what was wrong, she started talking at a million words a minute while not once looking to Lili to see how she took the news.
When she was finally done, only then did Sara look to her mother who was looking at her with such a somber expression it nearly had the girl bursting into tears.
"Tell him," Lili said simply. "I've done all I can for you, my dearest. He is likely one of the only roads to survival you and Dei can take so this does not surprise me. He knows the pain of limited life as you do, so telling him would help more then it would hinder."
Even though the words were encouragement, it didn't stop the teenager from bursting into tears and her mother rushing over to wrap her in her arms.
Silently, Lili held her daughter and rocked her back and forth. Saying nothing, for there were no words that could be said.
Ruinfield Oakshield.
Chokho Viqqoh.
The Free Wing's leader shifted paper after paper with general information of some of the newer employees she had gained.
Melodia D'janz.
Cyrus Chambers.
Stopped over Cyrus's name before placing him over towards a more uncertain pile. More papers. More rustling. Taking a moment, Lili closed her eyes and listened to the sounds of the house. Nothing but the crackling fire in the next room and the sound of settling. Excellent.
Her hand reached under one of the larger piles, pulling out a simple parchment with some names scribbled on it so that she wouldn't forget them.
Mikh'a Korofi was first and the blonde couldn't help but grin.
"Perhaps it's time the little one gets another visit from 'Amal'thea'..."
RE: Blonde Moments. (Lilithium Altair's Ramblings) ((Journal!)) - Parvacake - 06-28-2015
It had started as a freak accident. Or...so she thought.
Now Lili had learned to live with the conditions of her odd transformations whenever she happened to sneeze. While not convenient while in public, she usually found the time to step away and take care of herself in private. Or, at the very least, make it so that she could locate her clothes later then normalcy came in the form of a second sneeze.
Even on a day like today she was learning the advantages of such.
Being this small and distracting meant that it was easier to nab the attention of the growing toddler kit of the Rinannas household. Prone to have a love of bright, shiny things meant that he'd toddle after Lili with such squeals of excitement and joy that he tuckered himself out on his own. Within an hour he would find a spot to flop over onto and snore loudly while Lili waited for another sneeze so she could locate her lost articles of clothing.
Yes. The after effects of the amulet shards DID come in handy after all...
RE: [Journal] Blonde Moments (Lilithium Rinannis Altair) - Parvacake - 07-20-2016
While normally a very patient woman, Lili wasn't always good with waiting. She'd certainly look like the picture of contentment and calm, though her insides were another story entirely. Chewing on her bottom lip, she once more looked across her yard to the entryway. Nothing.
For the last bell, there had been nothing.
She rubbed at the back of her neck while the balmy summer breeze rolled in from the seaside. Curse this humidity. Days like these were when she missed being mostly based out of the Shroud. Plenty of shade, mild climates...
There soon came steps along the nearby stairs before a figure came into view with their tail swishing anxiously behind them.
Lili regarded the figure calmly. "You came."
"...I did."
"Shall we go inside? If what you said in your letter was true, we need to have a talk."
RE: [Journal] Blonde Moments (Lilithium Rinannis Altair) - Parvacake - 08-02-2016
It wasn't quite dawn yet. The blue white rays of light were peeking past the clouds over the Mists as they signaled the start of a new dawn. Within the Altair/Rinannis estate the bedrooms were located downstairs where there was an absence of windows. The only thing that told the time were the clocks and the stirring of the household pets and creatures who tended to rise with the morning.
One of the bedroom doors creaked open, a blonde head poking out. Ado paused for a moment and listened to the stillness of the house before looking over his shoulder with a hushed 'Come on!' before tiptoeing out of the nursery and across the hall to their mother's room. Behind him trailed Mikh'a, his tail and ears limp with drowsiness as he carried Elonwea under her arms like a doll. The only sound made was the infant blowing spitbubbles and toothlessly grinning at her own antics.
Since Ado was the tallest, he was able to reach the door handle and slowly turn it, prying it open with a slow crrreeeeaaakkkk before looking inside with his siblings close behind him. Lili's room was pitch black save for a draconian floor lamp in the corner that provided just enough light to see silhouettes of furniture and their mother's sleeping form on her bed.
"Is she awake?" Mikh'a had enough tact to stage whisper, but just barely.
"No. But let's wake 'er up."
Ado slipped inside with the others close behind as he climbed onto the bed. Then helped Mikh'a lift Ellie's pudgy body weight onto the sheets before both boys crawled over to the lump in the sheets. The only thing seen of Lili was the tangled blonde mess that was strewn all over the pillows. Mikh'a crawled on top of the lump and sat, before giving it a poke.
Nothing stirred.
Ado was sitting near her head and looked to Mikh'a. "Poke harder!"
So he did.
Still nothing.
"Mama?" Mikh'a rose his voice a notch, giving another poke. This time the lump twitched beneath him but still nothing. Ado was already getting impatient and moved to the other side of the bed and started bouncing. All pretenses of a calm wake up call forgotten. "Wake up, wake up, time to go on and get up," sang the Lalachild while his bounces made his baby sister rise a few inches off the bed with delighted squeals.
Finally the covers moved and began to rise up. Mikh'a let out a squeak as he tumbled backwards and onto his back next to Ellie, who took this opportunity to latch onto his ear with her drooling gums. He yelped.
"OI!"
All three froze and looked up.
Rather then the soft, welcoming form of their mother the trio was greeted with the hardened muscle tone and groggy red eyes of their older brother. Khavan was staring at the three with a look that was part strained patience and part contempt.
"Uhh...Where's Mama?"
Khavan settled Ado with a flat stare. "On a trip."
"Where?" Mikh'a piped up next.
"With Rhasha."
Both boys were confused. Ellie kept drooling on the miqocub's ear.
"When will she be back?" Khavan let out a groggy sigh. It was far earlier for this conversation then he'd like. Rubbing his face with his hands, he plucked up Ellie and settled her in his lap. When she started to fuss, he merely moved a lock of his hair for her to chew on instead. Menphina knew he had more then enough to spare. "Soon."
Ado's nose wrinkled. "You're not very good at answering questions."
Khavan flashed a smirk that was more groggy then devilish. "Then looks like we need to get some coffee before I'm in a good mindset to answer questions from three little hellions." Mikh'a bit on his lower lip, "Mama says we can't have coffee..."
"What Mama doesn't know won't hurt her."
Both boys looked at each other and let out squeals of delight before scrambling from the bed and heading to the stairs with Khavan trailing about a dozen paces behind them with Ellie making much of his ends into a ball of babyspittle.
A little coffee never hurt anyone, right?
RE: [Journal] Blonde Moments (Lilithium Rinannis Altair) - Parvacake - 08-16-2016
BANG
Adjust, reload, aim-
BANGBANGBANG
The feel of the gun was one that brought her comfort in the last few moons. She'd practice her aim and check her reload times to shorten them by seconds as much as possible until the movements became like breathing. Fluid and natural though she wasn't to a point where she could toss her weaponry around with fancy tricks and movements of her wrist.
The target in front of Lili was littered with holes, many of which were on the torso and head. It was better then before where she was lucky if she got a shot or two on any part of a practice dummy. Now she landed her shots more then she missed. Practice makes perfect and all that chocobo shite.
Adjusting the safety features and ensuring the gun was in a safe position before she plopped down on the grass to admire her handiwork. While perhaps not the finest thing she ever created (one of which was taking her mid morning nap), it still left a surge of pride through her belly that she was improving.
Finding productive things to do had been the best way to keep her mind occupied. When things were quiet and slow, she had too much time to think. To remember and to agonize over. A grimace formed as she ran her hands through her hair. Their wedding anniversary had come and went just a short time prior, leaving her in a state of melancholy great enough to keep her locked in her room for more then a few days. Khavan and Sara helped with the children, no questions asked.
Bless them both.
With a grunt, she rose back up again and picked up her gun. Busy. Yes. She had to keep busy. The less she thought about things, the easier it was to cope. In fact...
Near where she had been sitting were a few letters. Mostly trivial things like business reports, but four were from admirers that sent candies and lilies (the implied cleverness received a deadpan look from the blonde) with implied desire to see her some time. People who once dropped off the face of Eorzea now suddenly paid her attention with Locke's ashes scattered to the winds.
When the first token of affection had arrived, it only made her upset and angry. Shortly afterwards a mechanic she had hired to look over some airship repairs of her vessels in Ishgard tried to ask her out to dinner. Needless to say, she never saw nor spoke to the Highlander after that and he made no efforts to pursue. The fact she had to bluntly tell him she was recently widowed for him to leave her be still left a bad taste in her mouth. The other letters weren't much different.
Some pretended to care, to feel for her pain, expressing a outstretched hand to be her rock and shoulder to cry on. Flashed her sympathetic smiles as they tried to pull her close for a hug that was a little too tight. A little too long. Implying things that were so small but flashed like beacons before her eyes.
Kyren could try to shield her from it. He'd made plenty of offers to personally handle anyone coming to her door. Khavan and even his husband Luxore (who was usually frosty on a good day and quiet when in tow) made offers as well to screen her mail before she received it.
But it didn't stop the knowledge that it was happening. It didn't stop the anger she felt boiling in her gut when her aspiring suitors would smile and coo at Ellie like they actually gave a shite. When they'd wink at Sara to get her to be more comfortable when all that did was make her nervous. When they'd tried to play with Mikh'a or Ado and the boys would look at them with tilted heads and innocent confusion as to who these strangers were and why they were trying so hard.
BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG-
It was over before she realized what had happened. There was a myriad of holes covering the letters she had left on the ground. The paper was smoking and singed while the wax seals had melted or seeped together until it was simply a mess of paper. The gun was in her hand and she hadn't otherwise moved. Once it registered, she dropped the weapon to the ground and quickly took some calming breaths.
When she looked down at her hands, they were shaking.
RE: [Journal] Blonde Moments (Lilithium Rinannis Altair) - Parvacake - 08-26-2016
There.
She had finally found it.
Lili stared over the map she just recently purchased from a collector in Ishgard. She had her chin resting on her fist while her eyes were fixated on the worn and scrawled writing. While the basic framework of the map was a standard map of Coerthas and some of the surrounding lands pre-Calamity, there were many custom notes scrawled in various places.
Lord Frederick once told her he'd help her get a hold of this map. But after everything, it was no longer an option. So she looked into other options...and came up lucky.
Boneweed was written over a point to the northeast of Ishgard towards a range of mountains below the Sea of Clouds. A mostly desolate land that was deemed uninhabitable. Bahamut's Calamity wracked that particular section of land with near nonstop snow storms and flash freezes that killed anything that was foolish enough to try and take roots there.
Though the map was a few hundred years old, it was the best lead she had.
Without this, there would be nothing else.
Without this, there was no saving Sara.
RE: [Journal] Blonde Moments (Lilithium Rinannis Altair) - Parvacake - 09-07-2016
There was fear.
She wasn't ashamed of it. She wasn't able to lie about it without it being boldfaced and easily deducted from her expression be it a half-hearted smile or a grimace that slipped past her defenses. Was she right? Was she simply afraid? Perhaps so. Perhaps she was right. The fear was deeply rooted, set within her spirit and her bones that made breathing difficult when she was alone in the dark.Â
It was the kind of fear that you can find no words for. It doesn't have logic or even a sound emotion as a base. It merely sits there, when stirred it provides the body a fresh batch of tremors and anxieties that are best saved for privacy then to overtake her in the daylight on the street.
The catalyst was so small, too. A compliment. That's all it took! A compliment about Elonwea and her eyes, the infant busily sucking on the pom-pom of her stuffed moogle without a care before the acquaintance took their leave. There was nothing, at first, for pride at how beautiful her daughter was growing. How bright eyed and strong she became each day. Those eyes unlike her own, a little darker and more like-
Moments later came the fear.
With the fear came the tightening of her chest.
A sudden shortness of breath, sweat forming and gliding down her temples. Pupils dilating and hands feeling clammy like she was experiencing a chill. Each odd symptom overtook her until she was drowning in it while sitting on that bench without a word. The company she kept had reached over for her knee to give it a squeeze, seeking to snap her from it.
"Lili?" The feminine voice besides her piped up with hesitance, concern.
Ellie followed shortly afterwards with a croon. Lili had actually started to hold onto her daughter tightly enough that it caused some alarm in the infant. Loosening her hold and gazing down at the cherubic cheeks and tufts of blonde, the seasoned mother managed a weak smile. Babbling, the infant grabbed a fistful of her hair while Lili bowed her head so more strands would slip past her shoulders and into her daughter's reach.
She had to be strong. She had to keep her head high. This was going to end well. They weren't going to lose her and she wasn't going to lose them.Â
Ellie squealed with delight, stuffing some of her mother's ends into her mouth like a game. Despite knowing she'd need to wash her hair again today, a breathless chuckle arouse and kissing were reigned on a face of innocence.Â
The arm of her friend wrapped around her shoulders and squeezed, saying nothing and Lili offering no explanation in return. They sat like that on the bench of Mor Dhona, listening to the passing adventurers with a infant's cooing calming them both.
Her trek to Coerthas was soon. Her family couldn't afford to suffer any more losses this year.
RE: [Journal] Blonde Moments (Lilithium Rinannis Altair) - Parvacake - 09-17-2016
It was the dead of night. An oppressive silence hung in the air that not a spirit dared stir. Not the chocobos, not the fireflies, not even the wind. Even the moon had retreated behind Eorzea to hide from the sun's light. Menphina's blessing would not be upon anyone this night.
The mists swirled around Kyren as he made his way up the stairs of white-stone to the Altair household. As he reached the front gate, his blue eyes lifted to the roof of the large house. The hawk that perched on his shoulder followed his gaze, and a moment later flew up in a wide arc, landing gracefully on top of the weather vane, its head quickly turning this way and that as it surveyed the Mists.
Key in lock, turn, click. A moment later the door closed soundlessly as the cloaked Au Ra passed through like a wraith.
He was greeted on the main floor by flickering candlelight. Wax had begun dripping down onto the dining table in small globs as the flame burned its life away. Asleep on one of the nearby couches was Luxore. Kyren had only met the man once before, but he was pleasant enough, with a quick wit that complimented against his husband's more stoic nature...
"Ahhh, and so the latest suitor arrives. I see you eventually deigned to grace us with your presence. Our family is so honored."Â
Khavan Amadeus Nightwing slowly stood from his chair by the window, up to his full height of six fulms, eight ilms. Almost as tall as Kyren. Almost. His eyes were bloodshot and haggard... sleepless. But Kyren recognized that look behind them. That pent-up frustration, the anger that comes from being helpless and unable to do anything. In that, if nothing else, they were kin.
Kyren stared at Lilithium's eldest silently for a long moment before finally turning around opening the front door again, passing back through it and into the mists outside. A moment later, Khavan followed, closing the door quietly behind him.
"Do you really think you belong here, Au Ra?" The highlander growled as Kyren turned to face him. "You're nothing, do you understand? A passing fancy. A parasite that somehow managed to latch onto my mother while she was grieving for her late husband, Thal rest his soul. And since she can't seem to see that..."
Kyren simply stood there, his glowing eyes on the man. He knew Khavan was only in pain, and that he needed to take his frustration out on something. Even so, the words hit their mark. As did the man's fist.
Kyren staggered to the side as the weight of Khavan's fist almost sent him down to a knee, and could immediately taste blood in his mouth. The motherfucker was built like a behemoth, with fists that carried the strength of Ala Mhigo in them. But more than that, they carried the weight of a son who cared for his mother. And a small part of Kyren envied that.Â
Slowly, he stood back to his full height before the next punch took him in the gut, doubling the Au Ra over as he worked to breathe. The fist against his back finally sent him down to his knees, and the uppercut to his chin lifted him off the ground, sending him falling onto his back as he thudded against the grass.
"Where were you, huh? Where were you when she got it into her head to go off on her own?"
Kyren slowly began to push himself back to his feet, getting to his knees before another fist sent him sprawling back against the ground. Khavan fell to his knees over Kyren's body, holding him down.
"Locke would have been there. C'kayah would have been there. Fuck, even Ghislan would have been there. So where in the NINE HELLS were you?"
Another punch to the face. And another. And another. For a good ten minutes this continued, until Kyren was bleeding from the mouth and from one of his eyes. Until Khavan's fists were torn and bloodied from hitting the Au Ra's scales over and over. Until he was too tired to raise his arms any longer.
Khavan finally got back to his feet, and Kyren soon followed, slowly pushing himself to his knees before standing. For a moment, it seemed like the highlander had worn himself down as he turned back to the doors... paused... and then suddenly turned back again with a growl as his fist swung forward. But the attack was stopped dead in its tracks as Kyren caught his fist in his hand, holding it firmly in place. He met the man's eyes for a single moment before suddenly pushing forward and down. The highlander had no energy left to resist, finding the himself falling to his knees with a thud. He looked up at Kyren, and all that was left in his eyes was pain.
"She could have died. Do you understand that? She could have died out there, alone, with no one by her side."
Kyren looked down upon the grieving son for a long moment before finally lifting his hand, placing his palm gently on the man's forehead. There was a sudden, brief swirl of purple aether and Khavan suddenly began to slump over, but was quickly caught by the Au Ra before he could hit the ground.Â
He sighed, looking down at the man. Hopefully now he could get some sleep, even after the spell wore off. With a painful groan, he lifted the large man up and slung him over his shoulder as he carried him quietly back inside.
- - -
He very carefully lay Khavan down on the couch next to his husband, resting his head against Luxore's shoulder before turning and heading for the stairs.
"Thank you."
Kyren turned, looking back at the two. Khavan was still passed out cold, and Luxore was asleep as well... save for the small smile on the man's lips. Kyren stared silently for a moment longer before giving a single nod. He then turned back and headed down the stairs.
- - -
He could feel his right eye already swelling shut, and his arm smeared with blood as he wiped it across his busted lip. He would need to see a healer the next day, but that's hardly what he was worried about right now. Coming down the stairs, he made his way down the small hallway before spotting Sara asleep in a ball on the couch in the small den, a tiny fire still burning in the fireplace.
Poor girl, she probably felt worse than Khavan. He quietly walked over to where she slept, taking the blanket that had fallen off her and covering her back up, being careful not to wake her. He knew his appearance frightened her more than most people. Not that he could blame her, he practically looked like a voidsent. And with what had happened to her sister...
He sighed, shaking his head as he moved back to the hall, opening one of the side doors quietly as he looked in on the children. Adokenai Rinannis Altair. Mikh'a Rinannis. Elonwea Rinannis... Ellie. Kyren hung in the doorway for a moment as he looked upon Lili's youngest ones. Khavan's words echoed in his head. Was this really a place for him? This was her family. These were her children, not his. They had roots. A shared name. They were there for each other when anything happened to any one of them. They were family.
And Kyren? His only family had sold him into slavery. He was the heir of nothing. The prince of a forgotten clan. The failed guardian of a dead princess. He had no roots. He had no legacy. All he had now was the power to destroy... and he had lost his appetite for destruction.Â
He closed the door to the nursery with a quiet click.
- - -
He stood in front of her door now, staring down at the handle. He had been trying to distract himself, trying not to face it. As long as he didn't see it with his own eyes, there was still that small possibility that it hadn't actually happened. But he couldn't pretend any longer. He reached down and opened the door.Â
The low light of the floor lamps greeted him, as well as the smell of her. She lay on the bed, asleep, blonde tresses falling gently around her face. She looked so peaceful in that moment it hurt. Careful not to wake her, he walked around to the side of her bed, his expression unreadable as he looked down at her. Slowly, he lifted the sheet that covered her, looking down to the empty space where her left leg had once been, where there was now nothing but a bandaged stump.Â
He slowly let the sheet fall back down. Taking a seat in the chair next to the bed, he leaned forward, his fingers drumming against each other as he stared at her sleeping form. He sat there for a long while, contemplating... something as he stayed by her side.Â
After some time, he slowly moved from the chair down to his knees next to the bed, lowering his head as he closed his eyes. It was only then, finally, that his shoulders began to shake and the tears began to fall against the white linens.
"I'm sorry," came the whispered words as he choked back the tears, finding his voice for the first time that night. "I'm so... so sorry..."
RE: [Journal] Blonde Moments (Lilithium Rinannis Altair) - Parvacake - 09-21-2016
“Payback? Ye dunno wot t’at truly is, girl.â€
They were ilms from each other now, and with his good hand he reached for the damnable gun she had yet to point in his direction. Scarred digits sought to pry it out of her grasp, while storm clouds stared unblinkingly at her.
â€I can fight back too, Asher.â€
A grin of wicked amusement stretched across his face. “Ye mean callin’ fer yer poor mummy t’protect ye? I bet she won’t. I bet she’ll jus’ curl up an’ cry. That’s wot t’ey do when they’re facing a demon. Turn into a sniveling mess an’ their child can only watch. Take this instance for example.†He lifted the gun straight at her, the barrel visibly shaking as he struggled to elicit a sharp gaze upon her. “Wot would dearest mother do at this moment, mmm? Beg fer her own life? Jump in front of t’bullet? Attack the one ‘olding t’bloody thing?†He paused, and that unkind smile only widened. “Or would it be ye? T’ child t’at fights back? Maybe ye got sum balls after all.â€
With a sudden movement that almost threw him off balance, the rogue hurled the gun through the open window with a furious snarl. His voice was a curious mixture between a catlike growl and a man’s throaty roar. Anger surged in the stormy waters that glared back at her, and with the final step taken his good hand reached forward to grab her arm tightly. He sought to curl fingers unkindly around her wrist and thrust his face close to hers. Had it not been his other arm was broken, her other wrist would have mostly likely been grabbed as well. “Do ye really want t’test that theory? Do ye really wanna see when I’m mad? Do ye?!â€
Sara hadn't ever seen him this angry. Never seen him act out in such a way while being so volatile and riled. Though he reached for the gun, she did struggle with it. But his wicked grin made her heart sputter unpleasantly. Not in a way that made her fluster and peek up at him with her cheeks warmed, but in such a manner that she couldn't shy away from him further if she tried. Her hips were back against the counter, her side against the window she had tossed the water on him out of.
Though her anger did drive her, it did nothing to refute the truths of her naturally frail body. Her eyes narrowed and she let out a grunt through gritted teeth as the gun was finally wrenched from her and tossed out the window. It clanged against the side of the house next door, his hand soon coming across her wrist. Spitting and spewing anger at her with their bodies pressed and the reek of vomit, alcohol, and body odor.
A stub on the bed, bandaged and covered in blood. Where once was a smooth, shapely leg was nothingness.
Her pupils dilated, his growls and insults still ringing in her ears.
Soft sobs as the phantom pangs kept her up at night, trying to muffle her sobs into the pillows. Trying not to wake her children.
"You..."
"I'm so sorry Sara..."
"You...!"
"It didn't work, darling. The boneweed didn't work."
"Don't you dare speak of her like that to me."
With her free hand, no longer fearing for her safety even though he could very easily hurt her, it rose up to slap him. Hard. Right across his cheek while her eyes brimmed with angry tears as they flashed darker with her memories that swam in her head. Of the kindly, drawn features hallowed with pain and agony as she was restricted to bed rest...
Asher was making her say red. The slap felt good, even if she would regret it later. Even if he abused her then and there. She'd never regret slapping him. Not this time.
He knew immediately he had struck a nerve. The fierceness in her eyes betrayed such, long before the growing fury surged through a voice devoid of even a hint of stutter. It was clear, how much she cared about her mother, and amidst the drunken anger that had become him, a sweet spark of jealousy curled around his heart.
Smack!
Greasy strands draped over his face, and water dripped silently on the ground from his sodden clothes and hair. For a brief moment he simply became immobile, visibly stunned by the unexpected display of retaliation Sara performed. Multiple nerves had been struck it seemed, judging from the furious tides that flowed from her eyes. Asher carefully released her wrist, trembling with barely suppressed fury… and lunged at her. Stormclouds billowed with proverbial thunder as a bestial snarl exploded from his mouth and his arm moved to strike her across the face. A powerful backhand blow in which he’d seen many times used on others, including himself.
Air tickled the space between his hand and her cheek, where time suddenly froze. His good hand was quickly withdrawn in a sharp movement, as if he’d been struck again, and realization gradually trickled through the anger that boiled through his mixed blood. An unsteady step back was taken, Asher’s face a twisted mixture of frustration and shock behind heavy furrowed brows. What had he—
Wham!
Unable to hold back regardless, his fist collided with the wall behind him and agony laced up his limb. Not a mark appeared on the surface, but the skin of his knuckles split open and pain flooded through his system. A sharp reminder of what would have collided into Sara. Cream-furred spires pressed painfully against the sides of his shaved head, and glittering oceanic orbs glared at the wall. In and out, his chest heaved with slow and angry breaths and his nostrils flared as he struggled to contain the alcohol-induced rage that continued to flow relentlessly through his system. His good arm remained pressed against the wall, knuckles firmly pressed, yet still it trembled.
“I...â€
He didn’t look at her. He couldn’t stand to see that tear-stained visage he’d seen far too many times. It’s not yer fault. A constant reminder of past tribulations, the halfbreed leant heavily against the wall and pressed his head against the stalwart surface, bowed with a sudden violent and heavy pang of regret.
Asher knew what he’d almost done, and it sickened him. For but a brief moment, he’d almost become exactly like him. A tremor coursed through taut shoulders and a ragged hiss! shot through gritted teeth as he wrestled with an internal demon. Anger continued its despicable advancement through his system, a tempting croon that he could not silence. Thud! His fist collided with the wall again, and another breath was sharply inhaled in response to something other than the fresh wave of agony. Tasting something dreadfully close to emotion, the halfbreed swept back greasy bangs with the back of his bleeding hand and slowly stumbled for the stairs. Anywhere was suddenly better than here beside Sara. He needed to get away from her. He was unsafe like this. A shower? Great. Maybe it would clear his head.
“…fine.â€
And with that, the halfbreed stumbled drunkenly for the stairs, his vision blurring as another spell of dizziness overcame him, coupled by the cold pit of disgust that settled within an abused gut. Crimson dripped from his hand, but he cared little enough to even inspect it. His cheek stung, somehow far more painful than the split knuckles of his hand.
This time, he’d really fucked up.