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+--- Thread: The Light of Day ((OOC Commentary Welcome)) (/showthread.php?tid=8666)
The Light of Day ((OOC Commentary Welcome)) - Faye - 10-15-2014
Faye awoke to the sun hitting her face through the window, warm and bright. With a groan, she rolled over to bury her face into the back of couch to hide from the vibrant rays, not yet prepared to face the light of day and the real world outside the realm of sleep. The night had been spent tossing and turning, taunted by thoughts and dreams that permitted her little meaningful rest.Â
What would happen? Secrets were slowly creeping up on her. Who would trust her? Who would believe that everything she did, she did for the sake of the people she loved? She swallowed hard. It hardly mattered, didn't it? She was accustomed to being resented for the things she did to help. As far as she was concerned now, it just came with the territory. Those who thought to do good must silently suffer. Anyone who expected to be praised and rewarded for doing the right thing was a fool. After all, there was a reason crime and villainy were so easy, why they were turned to by those who were lazy or desperate--because the right thing to do is always the hardest thing to do.
"Do they even realize you kill a bit of yourself each time you mend their wounds, injuries they receive from being foolish and reckless? They are ungrateful. They are blind," the words echoed through her head. It was ironic, now, that of all the ailments in the world he could suffer, Val's aether was being eaten away. More ironic, that each time she had healed him, each time he got wounded in some fight he provoked to protect her or prove himself to her, unbeknownst to herself, she had only fed the sickness that now threatened his life. All her attempts to help him had stolen her aether and his both, shortening each of their lives.
She hated herself for the things she had done. The deals she had made to save Val, or Zularti, or the free company as a whole. She knew they'd hate her if they knew, and she couldn't blame them. But they were foolish if they thought she did not hate herself more, if she hadn't already suffered for her crimes. And who did she even have to turn to for comfort now?
Val understood. Val did not hold anything against her. Even the things she'd done that upset even him, he had understood she had done with the best intent. But he was unconscious. He was sick. He was dying. He could offer her no consolation right now. There was Zularti, her closest family, even if not by blood. But he was off who knows where, without the inclination to slow down for a moment. Besides, could she really face him with what she'd done? It was cruel, that he was the one who inspired her to do good in the world, and yet she had caused so much harm to protect him.Â
Who did that leave? Her mother was dead, slain at the will of the man she had loved, the father of her child. The man, it seemed, she hardly had known. As far as Faye was concerned, she had no other family. Her father was far away in Garlemald, and she resented him for what he'd done. She considered him no family of hers, paternity be damned. And Aelius, he wasn't so very far, but she hated him nearly as much as she did her father. Still, some part of her was tempted take his offer, run away with Val and flee Eorzea, escape all her troubles... but she couldn't; she still had business here.
And who did that leave but the company itself? If they knew the truth, they'd turn their backs on her. No, she'd have to suffer alone and in silence. It was the price she had to pay for protecting Val, and Zularti, and the company. And if that meant keeping them safe, she'd endure it, even if it left her alone. She wasn't used to being alone. Growing up, she had her parents, Zularti, a busy household full of servants and frequent guests. Once all that was ripped away from her, she turned to the Conjurer's Guild for solace, and there she was shortly reunited with Zularti.
And for a few cycles, he was ever at her side, running around playing heroes and fending off the Imperial soldiers who seemed to be on her tail. It was only when he had decided to found Harbingers of the Dawn that he became busier, running off to recruit new members for the free company, and she was left to maintain the company. And for a while, she was alone. It was in part that loneliness that led her to hire a certain Seeker of the Sun mercenary as her bodyguard, and it wasn't long before the two were inseparable. But now, he was gone--temporarily. But the danger of permanent loss grew closer each sun. She was alone.
Exhaling a sigh, she rolled over, eyes fluttering open and blinking away the sleep. She peered around her office, hoping that somehow the last night might have been only a terrible nightmare, but all the evidence was still there: the dagger Lan lent her fallen on the rug; a few books and papers that had tumbled from her desk to the floor; her attire from the day before piled haphazardly onto the ground, her desk and the chairs around it slightly out of place as if a small struggle had occurred.Â
And most poignantly of all, a masked man in a robe standing a few paces from her desk, dark eye sockets seemingly fixed on her. He had apparently made good on his vow of silence, and with him standing in the same place she remembered him, she wondered if he'd budged an ilm all night. Well, there was that. Perhaps she was not literally, completely alone, for better or for worse. Stifling a groan, she sat up, noting a blanket draped over her that she could have sworn had not been there when she had fallen asleep on the couch.
"Leave me," she uttered softly. The man in the mask bowed obediently, a dark portal of swirling energy suddenly tearing through the fabric of reality at his side. Without a word, he stepped through the portal and into the Void, the portal closing behind him. And now she truly was alone.