Twas there upon the sea that our fearless hero met the beast, a great, big clipper fully two galleons wide and long. Its beady, black eye were like devil's pearls lodged at odds on the sides of its main shell. Such a creature could rival mighty Leviathan for dominion over the briney deeps and yet the Good Captain was not afeared.
On the deck of the mighty Sunbird, his glistening airship, Captain Seishuku pressed the bridge of a booted foot upon the prow and leaned forward into the pitch to meet the beastie's black-eyed gaze. His sable mask gleamed, covering half his face and strands of luxurious midnight hair brushed across the hell-spawned red eye in the churning winds that rippled across his black and red leathern coat. It rustled round the cuffs, billowing white like the sails of a sea ship.
The shell beast clacked its great pincers, eager for a fight and the good Captain glowered down upon it from on high. You see, he knew that stopping the creature here amidst the waves would spare the good folk of Costa Del Sol its bedeviled machinations. Plus, they spared no cost in hiring him to send it back to the depths from whence it stirred. That was a fair point, to be sure. Good coin for services rendered and Captain Seishuku'd never miss a chance at good coin. Nevermind the fact that he'd plundered the Master's stores the previous night.Â
With a mighty leap, the Captain came crashing down upon the creature with his sword drawn and it struck true! Its shell cracked beneath the impact, the blade piercing a carapace that deflected cannonfire. The beast thrashed, but he held his blade tightly even as his body was swung this way and that. Its many limbs cut the air in the throes of pain, but the Captain did not relent! Gripping his sword in both hands, he planted his boots upon the shell and waited for the right moment.
Patience and courage won the day as the creature recovered, growing still enough for the Captain to gain his footing. He jerked his blade free, calling down the rod of stars upon the wound. Its tip stabbed into the crevice, the chink in the great clacker's heavy armor and rooted there. Bellowing arcane incantations into the turbulent winds, the good Captain summoned a massive bolt of lightning from the brewing storm clouds that struck the rod and fried that big ole beast but good from the inside out. As it stumbled and sank, he pulled the rod from it and whistled for Sunbird to descend.
Before the denizen of the deep disappeared beneath the waves, its shell wisping thick streams of smoke, Captain Seishuku jumped onto the deck of his very fine airship and guided it back up into the clouds without a look back, satisfied with the outcome.
"S'Kruger-spoof!" cried a Lominsan man from a nearby table in the Quicksand, sloshing his pint of ale as he waved it derisively. "E'erybody knows that blasted shell-monster crawled up on shore and very nearly crushed Coster Del Sol if it hadn't a been fer all them adventurers on the sands t'drive it back! Had nothin' t'do with that shite-faced blackguard! Don' sell me no dog, wot!"Â Many patrons laughed at the seafarer's odd words, but more likely the meaning behind them as their heads swiveled from the drunk old goat to the very resplendently dressed man in black and red leathern coat with a half mask of gleaming silver whereupon sat one bright, red eye. He was brandishing a fork in one hand and a cup of mulled wine in the other whilst standing atop a table to properly regale the tavern's compliment with the tale.Â
At the lout's words, Seishuku's human blue eye narrowed and he peered ignobly down at the man. "Good Sir, I'll have you know that I was privy to such a feat of epic heroism myself and I share this legendary deed with you out of the goodness of my own heart for I am that which sent the shell-beast low. Whether or not it rose back up later is as inconsequential as whether it was further defeated by adventurers on the shores of La Noscea. Surely, you must agree that IF I had struck the devastating blow as I say then it was already wounded when it returned and was therefore far easier to defeat because of my efforts? What say you?"
The Limsan balked, either unable to follow all the words or aghast at the audacity of the claim. Whatever it was, the man stroked his beard for a moment in great, drunken thought only to finally heave a sigh and a nod. "Y'have me there, Cap'n....." Seishuku laughed, flinging the fork down into the table with aplomb, where it lodged upright with a dull twang next to his silver-tipped boot. He glanced down, noting the lucky position of the fork and blithely passed it off as intentional with a grand laugh and applause around his wine cup. "Dear maidens of honeyed meads and amber ales, a round to the Admiral's man there for his honesty and sound mind!" The Limsan man chuckled gruffly and raised his cup to Seishuku. "If I were the Admiral's man, I'd have y'clapped in irons." The captain tucked one leg behind the other and bent low in a flourishing bow. "I feel I am very safe here in Ul'dah, goodman. Extradition pains aside, we all know the brass ones only twist their knickers for a good price." Seishuku paused to partake of a deep drink from his cup as he stood upright, his free hand raised at shoulder height in an aristocratic, artistic pose. When the wine was politely swallowed, he smiled with all the charm he could muster. "Besides, if I'm to be trapped by the constabulary, I intend to be chained in New Gridania. Their cells are by far the most comfortable in all of Eorzea...."
The Lominsan offered a smirk that was far too toothy for the Captain's liking. "Fifty thousand gil ain' worth a knicker twist, y'say?" This revelation made Seishuku's visible eyebrow lift high on his forehead. "Is it that much?" He asked with more humble concern, seeming genuinely worried. "Goodness. I fear I've flown my flag higher than intended....Not that one can really control the outcomes of life's little tribulations, but I had hopes of at least remaining a meager ten thousand for another fortnight or two." The Captain spun around on his already crossed legs and flounced down upon the tabletop in a criss-crossed position. "Oh dear." He grew silent, as if the wind was pulled from his sails and the longer he wasn't acting like a dancing Opo-opo upon the table; the more those in the Quicksand began to forget all about him. Everyone liked a spectacle, after all.
On the deck of the mighty Sunbird, his glistening airship, Captain Seishuku pressed the bridge of a booted foot upon the prow and leaned forward into the pitch to meet the beastie's black-eyed gaze. His sable mask gleamed, covering half his face and strands of luxurious midnight hair brushed across the hell-spawned red eye in the churning winds that rippled across his black and red leathern coat. It rustled round the cuffs, billowing white like the sails of a sea ship.
The shell beast clacked its great pincers, eager for a fight and the good Captain glowered down upon it from on high. You see, he knew that stopping the creature here amidst the waves would spare the good folk of Costa Del Sol its bedeviled machinations. Plus, they spared no cost in hiring him to send it back to the depths from whence it stirred. That was a fair point, to be sure. Good coin for services rendered and Captain Seishuku'd never miss a chance at good coin. Nevermind the fact that he'd plundered the Master's stores the previous night.Â
With a mighty leap, the Captain came crashing down upon the creature with his sword drawn and it struck true! Its shell cracked beneath the impact, the blade piercing a carapace that deflected cannonfire. The beast thrashed, but he held his blade tightly even as his body was swung this way and that. Its many limbs cut the air in the throes of pain, but the Captain did not relent! Gripping his sword in both hands, he planted his boots upon the shell and waited for the right moment.
Patience and courage won the day as the creature recovered, growing still enough for the Captain to gain his footing. He jerked his blade free, calling down the rod of stars upon the wound. Its tip stabbed into the crevice, the chink in the great clacker's heavy armor and rooted there. Bellowing arcane incantations into the turbulent winds, the good Captain summoned a massive bolt of lightning from the brewing storm clouds that struck the rod and fried that big ole beast but good from the inside out. As it stumbled and sank, he pulled the rod from it and whistled for Sunbird to descend.
Before the denizen of the deep disappeared beneath the waves, its shell wisping thick streams of smoke, Captain Seishuku jumped onto the deck of his very fine airship and guided it back up into the clouds without a look back, satisfied with the outcome.
"S'Kruger-spoof!" cried a Lominsan man from a nearby table in the Quicksand, sloshing his pint of ale as he waved it derisively. "E'erybody knows that blasted shell-monster crawled up on shore and very nearly crushed Coster Del Sol if it hadn't a been fer all them adventurers on the sands t'drive it back! Had nothin' t'do with that shite-faced blackguard! Don' sell me no dog, wot!"Â Many patrons laughed at the seafarer's odd words, but more likely the meaning behind them as their heads swiveled from the drunk old goat to the very resplendently dressed man in black and red leathern coat with a half mask of gleaming silver whereupon sat one bright, red eye. He was brandishing a fork in one hand and a cup of mulled wine in the other whilst standing atop a table to properly regale the tavern's compliment with the tale.Â
At the lout's words, Seishuku's human blue eye narrowed and he peered ignobly down at the man. "Good Sir, I'll have you know that I was privy to such a feat of epic heroism myself and I share this legendary deed with you out of the goodness of my own heart for I am that which sent the shell-beast low. Whether or not it rose back up later is as inconsequential as whether it was further defeated by adventurers on the shores of La Noscea. Surely, you must agree that IF I had struck the devastating blow as I say then it was already wounded when it returned and was therefore far easier to defeat because of my efforts? What say you?"
The Limsan balked, either unable to follow all the words or aghast at the audacity of the claim. Whatever it was, the man stroked his beard for a moment in great, drunken thought only to finally heave a sigh and a nod. "Y'have me there, Cap'n....." Seishuku laughed, flinging the fork down into the table with aplomb, where it lodged upright with a dull twang next to his silver-tipped boot. He glanced down, noting the lucky position of the fork and blithely passed it off as intentional with a grand laugh and applause around his wine cup. "Dear maidens of honeyed meads and amber ales, a round to the Admiral's man there for his honesty and sound mind!" The Limsan man chuckled gruffly and raised his cup to Seishuku. "If I were the Admiral's man, I'd have y'clapped in irons." The captain tucked one leg behind the other and bent low in a flourishing bow. "I feel I am very safe here in Ul'dah, goodman. Extradition pains aside, we all know the brass ones only twist their knickers for a good price." Seishuku paused to partake of a deep drink from his cup as he stood upright, his free hand raised at shoulder height in an aristocratic, artistic pose. When the wine was politely swallowed, he smiled with all the charm he could muster. "Besides, if I'm to be trapped by the constabulary, I intend to be chained in New Gridania. Their cells are by far the most comfortable in all of Eorzea...."
The Lominsan offered a smirk that was far too toothy for the Captain's liking. "Fifty thousand gil ain' worth a knicker twist, y'say?" This revelation made Seishuku's visible eyebrow lift high on his forehead. "Is it that much?" He asked with more humble concern, seeming genuinely worried. "Goodness. I fear I've flown my flag higher than intended....Not that one can really control the outcomes of life's little tribulations, but I had hopes of at least remaining a meager ten thousand for another fortnight or two." The Captain spun around on his already crossed legs and flounced down upon the tabletop in a criss-crossed position. "Oh dear." He grew silent, as if the wind was pulled from his sails and the longer he wasn't acting like a dancing Opo-opo upon the table; the more those in the Quicksand began to forget all about him. Everyone liked a spectacle, after all.
What a colossal waste of time and energy.
