
((For starters, info in this 'journal' will not be used IC. And Gerik's idea, so he deserves the credit. He's awesome. ))
It's been a while since I've taken the time to even think about writing the events of my life in a journal. Well, I haven't really wanted to express if I feel bad to anyone, since I am looked at most of the time as the "optimistic" one of just about any group I'm in, if I'm in a group that is. I'll let this be known now. I'm not going to drop every emotion into this... But I will say what I won't say out loud...
My years in Ul'dah, I've seen her before, but not like this. A mother tending to her children. Reminds me so much of my mother before I left home, when I was a kid. I remember how should would feed us, fix the scrapes on our legs, cheered us on as we did what we loved, and tuck us up in bed at night. I've seen a father like mine. The kind that supports his children, but keeps them in check. Shows them the right from the wrong, the good from the bad. How to be strong when everything makes you weak, how to fight and stand for what you believe after you've been told that you're only going to fall and fail your mission. I've seen children that remind me of myself as a little boy, a bit stubborn at times, but got the message. Learning simple things that couldn't be taught by no one else other than the parents. Being taught lessons the teacher can't teach. Being loved like no one else can love you. The warm embrace of a hug that you know is only to tell you good night.
It's been 5 years since I got the news that my parents were killed, and I've gotten over it all. Pain of losing them, the disappointment of not finding the damn pirates that killed them, the excessive drinking to ease the unexpected pain that hit hard when I realized that I really couldn't do anything about, not even get my revenge. I've even tried hard to cover up my emotions around my bother and sister about their deaths, but they see right through me. If I'm not mistaken... today might be the day, if not the day I received the news.
To think, that their death is the thing that keeps me fighting, taking jobs more dangerous than the last. My attempts at armorcraft and alchemy have reduced to almost nothing because of the thought of my parents and my burning vengeance that has come back to haunt me again. And it's amazing that the time drinking with a few friends of mine have brought these memories back. I should look to another way to take my mind off things. Seems to make me think a hell of a lot more...
It's been a while since I've taken the time to even think about writing the events of my life in a journal. Well, I haven't really wanted to express if I feel bad to anyone, since I am looked at most of the time as the "optimistic" one of just about any group I'm in, if I'm in a group that is. I'll let this be known now. I'm not going to drop every emotion into this... But I will say what I won't say out loud...
My years in Ul'dah, I've seen her before, but not like this. A mother tending to her children. Reminds me so much of my mother before I left home, when I was a kid. I remember how should would feed us, fix the scrapes on our legs, cheered us on as we did what we loved, and tuck us up in bed at night. I've seen a father like mine. The kind that supports his children, but keeps them in check. Shows them the right from the wrong, the good from the bad. How to be strong when everything makes you weak, how to fight and stand for what you believe after you've been told that you're only going to fall and fail your mission. I've seen children that remind me of myself as a little boy, a bit stubborn at times, but got the message. Learning simple things that couldn't be taught by no one else other than the parents. Being taught lessons the teacher can't teach. Being loved like no one else can love you. The warm embrace of a hug that you know is only to tell you good night.
It's been 5 years since I got the news that my parents were killed, and I've gotten over it all. Pain of losing them, the disappointment of not finding the damn pirates that killed them, the excessive drinking to ease the unexpected pain that hit hard when I realized that I really couldn't do anything about, not even get my revenge. I've even tried hard to cover up my emotions around my bother and sister about their deaths, but they see right through me. If I'm not mistaken... today might be the day, if not the day I received the news.
To think, that their death is the thing that keeps me fighting, taking jobs more dangerous than the last. My attempts at armorcraft and alchemy have reduced to almost nothing because of the thought of my parents and my burning vengeance that has come back to haunt me again. And it's amazing that the time drinking with a few friends of mine have brought these memories back. I should look to another way to take my mind off things. Seems to make me think a hell of a lot more...