For those of you that don't frequent my Deviant Art account and have yet to hear. My week has not gone exactly as planned.
For starters.. I went to the doctor on Monday cause I felt a lump in my throat. Doctor is ordering that I get an x-ray of my neck and if there is indeed a lump physically there.. I get to have surgery on my throat.
Secondly, I've lost my job. My bank is already low on money as is and without a job I can't do much with my life.Â
It is not easy for me to get a job in the first place. Not because no ones hiring, but because of my past history:
In the 8th grade; 12 years ago on September 16th 2001 at 9 AM in the morning, I had my first panic attack. I literally freaked out and was taken home.. Ever since then I was unable to return to public school or any large public place. My life took a downward spiral to hell.. and my parents "pampered" me, soothed me, and took care of me. In 2007 I was admitted to Menninger clinic for help as I had taken a dark turn in my life where I felt like anything I did didn't matter and I contemplated suicide several times. I have scars to prove my dark depression and I still suffer it occasionally.
Not but a few months ago I stabbed myself in the wrist during one of these dark moods that don't happen often. The reason was friends turning on me and refusing to acknowledge me.
Heck.. I've fallen into this same rut now. One of my good friends who had not talked to me for a whole month despite me trying to ask her what is wrong, and ask her why she wouldn't talk to me, and try to just pick up general conversation on skype up and removed me from friendslist without so much as a reason to why.
Just this past Wed. I had a long talk with my parents about me being Transgender. They support my decision but they will not fund it financially.. and since I've lost my job all in the same week.. my life will only continue to sink lower back into deep depression.
With recent events in-game that I tried to prevent from happening  (i.e tried to control my temper.), I have opted to step out of the RP community. Maybe I'll return.. maybe not. Right now I don't feel as though I belong anywhere so It'd be best for me to leave everyone alone and go on my own way.
I don't expect anyone to feel sorry for me for the things I've said. Anyway see ya.
For starters.. I went to the doctor on Monday cause I felt a lump in my throat. Doctor is ordering that I get an x-ray of my neck and if there is indeed a lump physically there.. I get to have surgery on my throat.
Secondly, I've lost my job. My bank is already low on money as is and without a job I can't do much with my life.Â
It is not easy for me to get a job in the first place. Not because no ones hiring, but because of my past history:
In the 8th grade; 12 years ago on September 16th 2001 at 9 AM in the morning, I had my first panic attack. I literally freaked out and was taken home.. Ever since then I was unable to return to public school or any large public place. My life took a downward spiral to hell.. and my parents "pampered" me, soothed me, and took care of me. In 2007 I was admitted to Menninger clinic for help as I had taken a dark turn in my life where I felt like anything I did didn't matter and I contemplated suicide several times. I have scars to prove my dark depression and I still suffer it occasionally.
Not but a few months ago I stabbed myself in the wrist during one of these dark moods that don't happen often. The reason was friends turning on me and refusing to acknowledge me.
Heck.. I've fallen into this same rut now. One of my good friends who had not talked to me for a whole month despite me trying to ask her what is wrong, and ask her why she wouldn't talk to me, and try to just pick up general conversation on skype up and removed me from friendslist without so much as a reason to why.
Just this past Wed. I had a long talk with my parents about me being Transgender. They support my decision but they will not fund it financially.. and since I've lost my job all in the same week.. my life will only continue to sink lower back into deep depression.
With recent events in-game that I tried to prevent from happening  (i.e tried to control my temper.), I have opted to step out of the RP community. Maybe I'll return.. maybe not. Right now I don't feel as though I belong anywhere so It'd be best for me to leave everyone alone and go on my own way.
I don't expect anyone to feel sorry for me for the things I've said. Anyway see ya.
