(a parallel to Journal of a Carbuncle to talk about Doll 401)
[Suggested music: Any music box style Theme like this]
Day One
My creator named me Xyla Quintessence after her own name. I was told by her master that I was to be used for his moments of alone time if I wish to still be relevant. My other job in the meantime is keeping an eye on the many books and tomestones in the Ever Expanding Library.
Day Two
My creator told me that I was allowed to read whatever i want so long as I put the book back where i found it. At first, I was not sure how to read but when I opened the book, it became clear to me.Â
There were stories to escape in.
Amazing records of Flowers. I wish I can see a real flower.
This book about the body and the components made up of one. Am I made of the same material?
And even books about magic!
Day Seven
I was reading this nice story and felt like others should listen in. I tried asking my other selves but they were far too busy with their own duties. My creator forbid me from leaving the tower on account that I had a special job.
At times, I think I hear my creator making weird noises in her room. I am unsure what it is. I will confront her on it tomorrow...
Day Eight
I asked my creator about the noises she made last night. She assured me that it was an accident...but i do not understand. I looked through a book and came across the word...
'Emotion'
I looked up the word in an old dictionary to find out what it meant.
'a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationships with others.'
The examples talk about such feelings as...
Happy
Sad
Angry
I must learn what this emotion is.
Day Seventeen
It's been lonely in this tower. I can only see white from the windows and nothing else. Master Varthamith said to never leave the tower.
It's not fair.
The other dolls can go out and explore but why am I stuck here? Is this a feeling of...
Envy?
Depression?
Sorrow?
Sorrow?
I long to see the world beyond the white barrier...
Day Twenty
I finished another wonderful story among the collection, but it was so good that I wanted someone to listen to when I read outloud. The other Dolls ignore me like I don't exist. Master Varthamith is always busy and my creator simply told me that there was never time.
So I decided today I would find an audience to read to.
While it was time for them to sleep, I slipped outside just far enough to not escape the barrier. I dust the snow aside and found a few misshapen hunks of solid earthen metals. Rocks i think they called them. I gathered what I could find and brought them inside.
Day Twenty One
I placed the rocks around me in a semi-circle as i sat down with them. I read them my favorite story...
About the Mammet who wanted to be a real Lalafell. The old Hyur man who made him. A fairy and so much more.
I wondered why I always read this book, and I figured out it is due to this Relation aspect of life.Â
When I was finished, i noticed my rock pals did not leave. They stood there for me and I gave them names.
Day Forty Five
Today, Master Varthamith and my creator were talking about this Miqo'te man they captured. Saying things and altering his mind.
They made him do odd tasks but what was weird is that he had plans for a giant mechanical door...
Day Seventy Three
The Miqo'te man finished the door but on a mission to the Shroud, he broke free and fled. It was the first time I heard what was bad....
'We need Arala. She is to be our 'Primal' of Light.'
I listened to their debate and as it turned out, they were really bad guys. Much like my stories. They talked about how they wanted to bring about some god and men in hoods. It scared me...
I don't want to be evil.
Day Eighty five
I was to be sent to a small shack in a place called Limsa. They said the last doll there was taken out and with their forces spread so thin, they asked me to pose as a simple resident. I agreed but it meant i could explore the world!Â
I could see what i always wanted to see!Â
I packed up my rock friends in an old book and stashed them with the other books I intended to take with me.
To think, after so long I can finally see beyond the lonely Tower...
Day One Hundred and two
I got a mission from Master Varthamith. He sent me a vial and told me to poison the wine for Arala's friends.
Why?
Why are they so mean?
Of course, if I do not do this I will be punished with death.
I tried my best to pour only enough to make them suffer. I...don't want them to die...I know it's evil and wrong but what choice do I have? My rock friends cannot save me, not anyone will...Not as long as I have this name....
Day One Hundred and fifty Two
I heard that the wine harmed Arala since she drunk it first and they sent someone after me...I was scared...I...i didn't mean it.
I tried talking to her and explaining my situation.
They didn't care...
Are all people this spiteful over one incident? It...hurts....Someone please save me...
Day One Hundred and Fifty seven
I met this person named Lilith who protected me against Varthamith. She tried to fight him despite my attempts and she got injured. I was concerned despite knowing it wouldn't kill her. She did help me cut my ties with him and my creator. I am to meet with Robert Colt and join his company for protection...Tomorrow will be my last entry.
Final Day
I leave for the Company and plan on joining them soon enough. I just hope they treat me well instead of some doll...I want to learn. I want to know. I want to understand...
...Please...
...I ask for just one very special friend to be by my side when I arrive...
...Someone who can make me feel less like a doll and more like a real Au Ra...
[The remaining pages were filled with sketches of flowers with comments on them about how much she liked them. How pretty they were and to one day be as pretty as a flower herself.]
