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Character backstory check


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Character backstory check
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Khunbish Avagnarv
Khunbish Avagnar
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Character backstory check |
#1
08-22-2015, 04:35 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-22-2015, 05:25 PM by Khunbish Avagnar.)
New to RP on FF14 so I'm trying to make sure my backstory isn't too off base

Race: Au Ra Xaela

Childhood/Family Life: Aiswynd grew up as part of the Drakareus tribe. Life was fairly peaceful as a child, though rough, he was raised communally with all of the other children. His mother though had a sense of humor and named her xaela child born of red hair and eyes, Aiswynd, spoken like Ice Wind. He lost both parents in an incident where a torrential downpour had caused flooding. While trying to reach higher ground he slipped into the water, both of his parents went in after him but only he was found down river days later.

Education: He was raised to be a warrior and tracker among his people, although the sages within the tribe made sure all could read the common languages because it ensured fair trades and contracts with outsiders that used them although his tribes had little need for written language. As long as he had been alive, the way things worked fascinated him, not in the realm of magics or biology, but how and why things like spring traps worked. The few times his tribe dealt with traders, he would show endless curiosity towards strange trinkets of a mechanical nature.

His departure from the Steppes was a brutal event. Tribes would occasionally clash with one another as they wandered, so small scale wars were not uncommon. This one was different, strangers had come on the march with the warriors of a smaller tribe of Xaela. The strangers brought mechanical weapons with them, and a walking monstrosity that one of them rode upon. The results were devastating for the Xaela, culminating in the tribe being wiped out. Out of some unknown reason, one of the strange warriors let Aiswynd live, but not before having dislocated his left shoulder, and breaking his nose upon the haft of the stranger's axe, having said something about playing again when Aiswynd has gotten stronger and angrier. After recovering, those that survived scattered, too few to be a tribe, and Aiswynd made his way to leave the Steppes and that life behind. Intent on learning about the strangers, and their strange machines.

After his departure from the Steppes and due to a drunken encounter with a group of Roegaden Sailors, he woke up on a ship bound for Limsa Lominsa, having to fight constant terror over the deep water and working off a debt to the captain. Once in Limsa his skills a tracker caused him to fall in with the Rogues and eventually finding a home in Gridania's Twin Adder, learning more complex fighting styles. Ultimately his goal is to learn magitek and machinery, but has yet to gain access to a proper teacher.
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Eses Fafav
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RE: Character backstory check |
#2
08-22-2015, 05:06 PM
Personally, all of that sounds pretty aceballs, except for that last part. While his comically unfortunate journey seems pretty great, I'm not too sure where along the line he gained the passion for magitek when he was otherwise a rather primitive fellow to start with.
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Khunbish Avagnarv
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RE: Character backstory check |
#3
08-22-2015, 05:15 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-22-2015, 05:26 PM by Khunbish Avagnar.)
(08-22-2015, 05:06 PM)Eses Fafa Wrote: Personally, all of that sounds pretty aceballs, except for that last part. While his comically unfortunate journey seems pretty great, I'm not too sure where along the line he gained the passion for magitek when he was otherwise a rather primitive fellow to start with.

Right that should be explained better, the tribal conflict that occurred was tampered with by Garlean involvement, he blames his death of his tribesmen on the Garlean and their technology being involved in something that had nothing to do with them as far as Aiswynd views things. To understand your enemy...I should explain that better in the backstory thank you for pointing that out.

I have updated the background to better reflect this gap
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Eses Fafav
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RE: Character backstory check |
#4
08-22-2015, 05:30 PM
(08-22-2015, 05:15 PM)Aiswynd Wrote:
(08-22-2015, 05:06 PM)Eses Fafa Wrote: Personally, all of that sounds pretty aceballs, except for that last part. While his comically unfortunate journey seems pretty great, I'm not too sure where along the line he gained the passion for magitek when he was otherwise a rather primitive fellow to start with.

Right that should be explained better, the tribal conflict that occurred was tampered with by Garlean involvement, he blames his death of his tribesmen on the Garlean and their technology being involved in something that had nothing to do with them as far as Aiswynd views things. To understand your enemy...I should explain that better in the backstory thank you for pointing that out.

I have updated the background to better reflect this gap

Aye, no problem! Myeah, that seems alright then!
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