RPC has moved! These pages have been kept for historical purposes

Cato · **02-03-2015, 09:04 PM**

On a related note, strive to avoid stagnation. Don't be afraid to expand your social circle - it's a great way to avoid becoming too invested and reliant on a specific group of role-players.

Faye · **02-03-2015, 09:08 PM**

Faye's Comprehensive Guide to Preventing IC/OOC Bleed-through! \o/

Don't make a self insert character.

Don't toss yourself into the game.

When your character is essentially yourself but in FFXIV form living in Eorzea to live out your fantasies of leading a cool anime character life, it inevitably leads to trouble. It's hard to separate your character from yourself, when your character is, well, yourself. It's a lot easier to be confused by romantic RP when your character is essentially you and you can think, "Hey, if they like my character, they should like me, too, because I'm the same!" It's also easier to be hurt by criticism of your character's personality from other characters or role-players. It feels more like an attack on your personal character, since, well, they're essentially the same.

Don't play an ideal version of everything you aspire to be.

Hey, I get it. We all want to be beautiful, intelligent, witty, confident, funny, charming, level-headed, super strong, talented, respected, adored, successful, rich, young, and all around awesome and flawless with a super hot significant other (or twenty), and RP is sadly the only venue 99.999% of us will have to achieve this. But please resist the temptation. If you can't be a flawless person IRL, chances are, you can't play a flawless character. They're Sue-ish and boring and overpowered, anyway. When people play characters who symbolize everything they wish they could be, or who are essentially themselves but vastly improved and romanticized, any criticism of the character from another character or role-player is easy to take very personally. It can feel like an attack on you, or an attack on your ideals and who you want to be.

These type of characters are usually meant to be "flawless," since they are meant to be perfect versions of ourselves. The problem is every character will have flaws even if unintended, because everyone has flaws, and the people creating these characters can't help but give them flaws even if on accident--often the same flaws we have IRL but may be unaware or in denial of. When another character or another role-player finds fault in these "perfect" characters, it's usually taken as an attack on your character who you're more attached to than you should be, an attack on your RP skills for giving flaws to your "perfect" saint and super hero of your character, and an attack on you personally OOC since the flaw being pointed out is likely one you posses IRL.

Moreover, creating a character who differs from you in looks, race, age, experience, sex, gender, personality, morals, ideals, goals, preferences, habitat, skills, interests, etc. will greatly exaggerate the differences between you and your character. This should help you separate yourself from your character, as well as help others do the same.

Use perspective and wording carefully.

Use third-person perspective to talk about your character or other characters in your writing.

Some people prefer to use first-person perspective in RP, embracing the idea that they should "be" their character in order to be fully immersed in RP. If this is your preference, that's fine, but it's these subtle things that subconsciously can muddle the lines of OOC and IC. Even if you still wish to refer to your character as "I/me," please do not refer to someone else's character as "you" in your RP posts (I.E. "I kiss you."). This is awkward and uncomfortable for those who don't use third-person, and even sometimes strange for others who do use first-person but still refer to other people's characters as "she/he."

Use third-person perspective to talk about your character or other characters OOC.

It can be intuitive when chatting OOC to refer to someone by their character's name/gender, since their avatar is initially the only thing you have to identify them. This is fine, but please don't take the extra step of actually referring to them, or yourself, as their avatar. Statements like "I'm so mad at your character!" when you actually mean your character is mad or "My character is so annoyed with you!" when you actually mean your character is upset with their character can sound accusatory and lead to misunderstandings OOC.

Don't judge another role-player based on their character.

I've had people who met me through RP at first shocked when we began talking OOC and they saw how laid back, goofy, and derpy I am OOC compared to my very serious and mature character. They were even more shocked when they began to realize how quiet and timid I can be, especially in real life or voice chats, compared to my ever-confident and fearless character. On the other hand, in my last MMO I've had those who met me OOC in general chats utterly in disbelief I could coherently and whole-heartedly RP a serious character until I proved them otherwise. Do not assume someone's OOC personality is anything like their characters! Don't make judgments OOC based on IC, and vice versa.

Communicate with others OOC!

Form friendships with your RP partners.

Getting to know the people you're RPing with OOC can help you form a relationship separate from the relationship you have IC and remind you there is a real, different person on the other end behind the character. Getting to know the difference between someone and there character can help you keep them separate, and should help them do the same for you.

Set up boundaries and voice your expectations.

It's okay to set up boundaries once it comes up or when you're comfortable having that talk with an RP partner. It's okay to say, "I'm not looking for ERP," or "I want to keep this wholly IC; I'm not pursuing anything OOC," or whatever your boundaries may be. Heck, even if you are looking for an OOC relationship to go along with your IC romance (I'm strongly against it, but hey, you do you and I'll do me, and I promise we won't do each other) say it outright so the other person will know what they are getting into.

Reaffirm that you are not your character.

If your character is in a relationship and the person is getting too clingy OOC, politely remind them it's all IC for you and you're uncomfortable if it's not that way on both ends. If your character hates another character, reassure the person the animosity is all IC and that OOC, you have nothing against them or even your character. If your character is an abrasive asshole, feel free to apologize OOC to the other player, especially if they seem to be getting bothered by it.

Consider your feelings and thoughts!

Be introspective and ask, "Why?"

Some people are uncomfortable playing certain types of characters. Some people will only play certain races, only play one gender, only play good guys, only play characters with a certain sexual preference, only play mages or only play physical fighters, etc. It's okay to prefer certain things and to wish to a play a character you can relate well to, or explore certain aspects of yourself with. Just spend some time thinking about these things and WHY you prefer the things you do, and if you're avoiding certain topics and archetypes in RP for the right reasons.

It's okay to sympathize and empathize, but don't take IC things personally.

We have a bond with our characters. They're our babies, pieces of ourselves. It's only natural to be frustrated when things in your character's life aren't going there way, tearing up in an emotional scene, getting a big goofy grin in a light-hearted or lovey-dovey scene, feeling a rush of adrenaline when your character is angry or fighting. But don't let these emotions go too far. Are you feeling these emotions the same as you would as if your character was in a book or movie you were enjoying? Or are you feeling these emotions as if they were happening to you instead of your character? Are these feelings about IC matters affecting your OOC mood, your enjoyment of the game, your relationships, even your real life? If so...

Take a step back when you need.

Feel free to avoid/cut out certain people.

There are people who, at least at this point in their lives or RP experience, cannot keep IC and OOC separate, and as good as you may be at upholding that boundary, exposing yourself to people who constant blur the two will inevitably drag you down and probably make for an unpleasant experience regardless. Do not be afraid to avoid these people, even outright ask them to leave you alone, or blacklist them if necessary.

Step away from the keyboard if things get heated or blurry.

We channel our character's thoughts, feelings, and emotions. It's only normal to feel what they feel. But when your character's thoughts and emotions get blurred with your own, step away from the keyboard for a few minutes. Don't make that next post, especially if it's an OOC one, until you've calmed down and you know whether you're thinking with your character's head or your own.

Take a break when things get stressful.

Despite our best efforts, sometimes it's hard to fully separate OOC and IC, especially as mentioned above if you have someone heckling you OOC about IC things, or trying to take OOC things out on your character. This will only likely lead to drama with others, and the stress alone can make RPing in the game an unpleasant experience. It's okay to take a break, however long you need. Take a break from RPing with a certain person, take a break from your FC/LS, take a break from your character, taker a break from the server, take a break from RP, take a break from the game, take a break from the internet--whatever you're most comfortable with or know will be best for you. If you don't want to wholly take a break from something or are having trouble doing so, find other hobbies to distract yourself with.

Ultimately, at the end of the day, remember that role-play is role-play. Please don't take things other say IC to mean anything OOC. Personally, I have to frown on the philosophy that "RP is being your character," or that anyone should role-play for the sake of wish-fulfillment. It's fine for others to feel that way about their RP, but if you do, please make sure the person you're RPing with shares the same ideas, and if they don't, make sure they're comfortable with it and keep in mind they don't feel the same way you do. If you play a self-insert character and don't mind others blurring OOC with IC in how they treat you, remember that the majority of the people you RP with probably don't feel the same way, so don't treat them that way.

The "RP is being your character" notion is well-intentioned, but in actual application I've never seen it not lead to problems eventually. As counter-intuitive as it may see to the term "role-play," I think treating your characters as characters in a book or screen play who you are simply giving actions and dialogue is a much safer and more enjoyable route than actually trying to take on the "role" of your character yourself to "be the character."

I hope my wall o' text will be helpful too anyone who suffers through reading it.

Faye · **02-03-2015, 09:23 PM**

Another thing I forgot to add, on the note of communication--I recommend getting to know someone OOC before RPing more risque subjects, romance and sex especially. In example, I absolutely will not ever ERP with someone I have the slightest inclination to believe could blur IC/OOC, be clingy, obsessive, creepy, abusive, or otherwise weird, or if I feel I don't know them well enough OOC to make that judgment.

g0ne · **02-03-2015, 09:47 PM**

I'm so happy that everyone is giving such valuable advice and information. So happy... T^T (those are happy tears)

I also hope it is helpful for everyone, whether new RPers or experienced ones. It was certainly very helpful to me.Â

Can I just give a standing ovation to all the people who posted on this thread, and to all the people who will post on this thread. You guys are awesome. :3Â Bouncy

C'kayah Polaali · **02-03-2015, 10:21 PM**

(02-03-2015, 01:10 AM)Eleni Wrote: Refrain from posting anything on this thread other that is against the SMILE way.

This is clearly an acronym, but I don't know what it is. Google doesn't seem to, either. At least not in my searches. Enlighten me, please?

Chris Ganale · **02-03-2015, 10:28 PM**

It may have just been emphasis.

Faye · **02-03-2015, 10:32 PM**

So
Many
Illegal
Leprechaun
Echidnas

Melkire · **02-03-2015, 10:33 PM**

Predecessor to SERVICE. I forget the exact words.

g0ne · **02-03-2015, 10:38 PM**

(02-03-2015, 10:28 PM)Chris Ganale Wrote: It may have just been emphasis.

^

Yay, cookie for Chris! He got it right!

It was just me trying to stress on it, so upper case letters! SMILE! Smile

Chris Ganale · **02-03-2015, 10:38 PM**

-Wanders off to the kitchen to get a glass of milk for that cookie-

Zhavi · **02-04-2015, 12:00 PM**

The only character you have full control over is your own.

The second you start feeling negative emotions over the actions of other characters, take a step back.
=> if they're doing something you feel is breaking your immersion or fun, talk to them.
=> if they're doing something that is making you uncomfortable, talk to them.
=> if you cannot resolve the issues, gently disentangle yourself from the rp.

The second you start repeatedly and frequently trying to convince someone to do something with their character that they have told you they don't want to do, take a step back. You are way too invested, and need to separate your emotions from the rp.
=> Try your damndest not to hold other peoples' choices with their characters against them. Even if you feel they are breaking [insert unspoken social rule or bit of rp etiquette or setting rule here], the only character you have full control over is your own.

Direct the rp where you need to, but do not assume you'll be able to fully control it. Sometimes even the best laid plans get sidetracked. It isn't personal.

Be polite. Everyone is human. Even you.

Try not to get so caught up in what you want that you forget that you're writing with other creative people who have their own wants and feelings.

RP is social. RP is not dictated. RP is collaborative. Players are not their characters. . . .however, characters might have a specific purpose for specific intentions on the player's part. Always be aware of this. Always take care. Protect yourself where you need to, but try not to let it affect the rp unless something crosses one of your personal boundaries (in which case . . .politely disentangle yourself from the rp).

Be aware of your own feelings. If the rp is making you depressed or anxious, that's IC/OOC crossover too, just of a different kind. Take a break if you need to; remember that rp is supposed to be fun.

Gegenji · **02-04-2015, 12:14 PM**

I wonder, is it possible to go too far the other way, too? I ask because I might fall into that camp at times. Though it might just be general worry about the other person in general.

Basically, I mean that you worry so much about trying to keep things friendly and cordial that you're tempted to continually double-check with the other person to make sure everything's cool. I haven't quite hit the point where I had a character be really mean to someone IC and immediately follow it with a stream of "IMSORRYIMSORRYIMSORRY *hugs*" OOCly (possibly due to Chachan's generally friendly nature)... but it does feel like something I would honestly do.

Along with that is a sort of... after-the-fact doubt? You did something with someone, it's over and done with, but you keep wondering if it was okay. If they were okay with it, and if everything's still cool all around. My best example of this was a training session for Chachan with Sei... I got all caught up in the choreographing aspect of free-form combat since I hadn't done it in a while. Sei rightfully pointed out I was no-selling her character's attacks, and I immediately tried to over-sell to compensate. And afterward I STILL felt real bad about it.

I have a lot of fun RPing with everyone and I want them to have fun too... and the chance that I might ruin that or overstep my boundaries worries me to no end at times.

Hyrist · **02-04-2015, 01:53 PM**

(02-03-2015, 10:38 PM)Eleni Wrote:
(02-03-2015, 10:28 PM)Chris Ganale Wrote: It may have just been emphasis.

^

Yay, cookie for Chris! He got it right!

It was just me trying to stress on it, so upper case letters! SMILE!

(02-03-2015, 10:38 PM)Chris Ganale Wrote: -Wanders off to the kitchen to get a glass of milk for that cookie-

Still calling it Systematically Making Intellectually Lovely Exchanges. >.>

Bahati · **02-04-2015, 01:55 PM**

This may sound too simplistic but should I feel myself even getting slightly offended, entitled, overly-affectionate, etc. OOC I immediately take a pause. Once I've asked for a short break AFK, I get up just for a minute or two. Stretch. Cuddle my dog. Refill my beverage. Relax. Breathe. Anything really to break that emotion that really has no place in my RP.

Once I return and jump back into writing, 100% of the time I'm not in the same frame of mind anymore. As if my emotion has been reset. Things can get heated and intense in a variety of ways that are sad, scary, erotic, offensive, whatever it may be. The line between OOC/IV should never be crossed in an RP.

Gegenji · **02-04-2015, 01:56 PM**

(02-04-2015, 01:53 PM)Hyrist Wrote: Still calling it Systematically Making Intellectually Lovely Exchanges. >.>

I prefer Speaking on Matters with Intrinsically Lighthearted Expressions.

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The IC/OOC boundary and how to approach it the SMILE way

RPC has moved! These pages have been kept for historical purposes