Scaled Kitten PrivateÂ
Investigators(and others)
You're trudging along through the wilderness, your back aches, your feet hurt, your body is about to collapse from sheer dehydration and other dangerous things that might affect you in the wilderness! (Don't ask me what they are because I'm just the bloody narrator). As you lay your head down on the cold hard ground you realize that you are surrounded...surrounded by the feared criminal gang plaguing the wilds of Gridania - the wild dangerous super secret organization that is super not friendly and totally not in anyway good - the Anti Tree Gang that is led by none other than the infamous Two Legged Larry! Alarmed, you jump up to your feet only to realize that you're caught in a web! A web of injustice! As they reel you in slowly you think back to the flyer you read somewhere (again don't ask me where because I'm just the narrator not your mom). Thinking fast, you quickly shout to the heavens, and just like that a very beautiful, smart, amazing, perfect, cute, totally wife material, cunning, intelligent, excellent shopper, I'nia Emi (and others) comes to your rescue with a drop kick! The fiend Two Legged Larry is caught off guard! He falls to his knees as he is encircled by Master Detective I'nia Emi (and others)! Just like that you were saved, and it was all th-What the hell are you doing, hey! Let go of me! I'm not finished! Gods damn it! You will regret cutting my narration short! I bet you the Lalafell put you up this! You blood-*The Linkshell begins to emit static as if it was cut off*
*A small Bzzt could be heard as the Linkshell was turned back on after a few moments.*
"FREEDOM FOR EORZEA! THE LALAFELL MENACE SHALL BE TAKEN CARE OF! STAND WITH ME MY BROTHERS! WE SHALL-
*The sounds of multiple guards scrambling to catch the source of the voice could be heard faintly!*
"THE MAN IS TRYING TO SILENCE ME! TO SILENCE THE VOICE OF JUSTICE! DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM, YOU SHALL JOIN TO PUT AN EN-HEY DON'T TOUCH ME YOU PIG HEADED SEA SHELL EATING, ELEZEN LOVING, SNOT NOSED, BALLERINA PRACTICING, BUTT SNIFFING, TOAST EAT-
*The Linkshell was once again shut off...what did the beautiful narrator want to say?! Will she ever finish her long insult?! Or is she doomed to forever never complete it as "The Man" Is holding her back from doing so?! Find out next time on Dragon Ball-Err...Armchair Detectives!*