It seems the harder I try not to think, the more of it I do. Looking ahead is easier said than done. Yes, perhaps it is better to look forward, but I'm finding that difficult. With such a large piece of ones self missing, it feels like drawing my bow with one hand. I don't know if I can, at least as I am. I still can not sleep much. When I close my eyes sometimes I think I hear screams in the distance.
One would think I would be accustomed to it by now after all this time. But truthfully, it's beginning to wear on me to the point it's making me..#####..irritable. I try to be kind to those who show me kindness. But to trust, is another matter entirely. My mood as of late is deteriorating.
A male stopped to make introductions and inquire a few harmless things. He was pleasant enough, though I can scarcely recall having ever been accused of being a lady. Two compliments under the same moon, unheard of in my little corner. Just the same, he spoke as a gentleman to me. And for that, my bid that he take care was genuine.
As for me. I think I'm going to head north. Go into the mountains after all. I can see the white of the trees, and I think the snow may do me well to refocus. And who knows, maybe I'll discover something. Doubtful. After all this time, if there were something, I would have found it by now. Still, those mountains are as close to home as I'll ever be.
Funny sentiment, considering I have no home. Nor memories of one.
One would think I would be accustomed to it by now after all this time. But truthfully, it's beginning to wear on me to the point it's making me..#####..irritable. I try to be kind to those who show me kindness. But to trust, is another matter entirely. My mood as of late is deteriorating.
A male stopped to make introductions and inquire a few harmless things. He was pleasant enough, though I can scarcely recall having ever been accused of being a lady. Two compliments under the same moon, unheard of in my little corner. Just the same, he spoke as a gentleman to me. And for that, my bid that he take care was genuine.
As for me. I think I'm going to head north. Go into the mountains after all. I can see the white of the trees, and I think the snow may do me well to refocus. And who knows, maybe I'll discover something. Doubtful. After all this time, if there were something, I would have found it by now. Still, those mountains are as close to home as I'll ever be.
Funny sentiment, considering I have no home. Nor memories of one.
