Rarely have I seen such celebration as I have today. Everything so new to me, yet so familiar. I can not call upon a time when I have laughed and smiled so much. For a better part, I did not notice how many were there. Being around so many at once is difficult, but with so much to see and hear I didn't care.
It felt, nice. As much as I have enjoyed my own downtime, I fear I must do some work. My mind idle for far too long, is not lending aid to my sleep. It is increasingly difficult to find sleep when the mind is rarely still. I'm finding myself going until exhaustion or the influence of drink takes me. Both of which are out of my normal practice.
Drink clouds judgement and slows reaction and dulls the senses. Exhaustion costs strength and speed as well as dulls the mind. This simply will not do. Here, where I am yes I can afford a little relaxation. But complacency is the downfall of many. I feel comfortable enough here that nothing ill will befall me in such a mindset. Though to become complacent would be a mistake on my part regardless.
I can hear a saying, though I do not know where it comes. 'Leave a blade rest in its sheath long enough, and it will loose it's edge.' I do not know where I have heard that, but it does hold a bit of truth. Perhaps I am just not accustomed to remain in one place for more than one moon. My lack of social skill becoming more evident with each sunrise. Remaining idle much longer, and it will not be long before the inevitable questions come forth.
How in the seven hells will I answer? To taste a lie is bitter and fouls my very being. To speak truth is painful and shameful. I shall pray to the twelve that day does not come anytime soon. Any other time, I would just pack up and move on as I have done countless times before. But this time is different.
For the first time since I've taken to wandering Eorzea, I have found a place where I feel as I belong. I am happy here, and I do not want to wander anymore. I will find a way, or face my shame. The days of running away are over. For now, rest. I shall acquire assignment soon, of that I am certain. Then I will not have to think about such unpleasant things.
It felt, nice. As much as I have enjoyed my own downtime, I fear I must do some work. My mind idle for far too long, is not lending aid to my sleep. It is increasingly difficult to find sleep when the mind is rarely still. I'm finding myself going until exhaustion or the influence of drink takes me. Both of which are out of my normal practice.
Drink clouds judgement and slows reaction and dulls the senses. Exhaustion costs strength and speed as well as dulls the mind. This simply will not do. Here, where I am yes I can afford a little relaxation. But complacency is the downfall of many. I feel comfortable enough here that nothing ill will befall me in such a mindset. Though to become complacent would be a mistake on my part regardless.
I can hear a saying, though I do not know where it comes. 'Leave a blade rest in its sheath long enough, and it will loose it's edge.' I do not know where I have heard that, but it does hold a bit of truth. Perhaps I am just not accustomed to remain in one place for more than one moon. My lack of social skill becoming more evident with each sunrise. Remaining idle much longer, and it will not be long before the inevitable questions come forth.
How in the seven hells will I answer? To taste a lie is bitter and fouls my very being. To speak truth is painful and shameful. I shall pray to the twelve that day does not come anytime soon. Any other time, I would just pack up and move on as I have done countless times before. But this time is different.
For the first time since I've taken to wandering Eorzea, I have found a place where I feel as I belong. I am happy here, and I do not want to wander anymore. I will find a way, or face my shame. The days of running away are over. For now, rest. I shall acquire assignment soon, of that I am certain. Then I will not have to think about such unpleasant things.
