Quote:Putting on the surcoat was like a fantasy but it still felt as if his dreams were far and large away. For some reason it felt as it did before... before when he was a Blade.
Nothing was the way it was before. Back then. Was it always going to be like this? This sense of longing and forlorn? Even when he thought he was happy with his personal life, he still felt empty. Even now. Just as he had when he was a Blade.
Clenching his eyes, Kage took out the linkpearls of which he seldom ever used. He pinched and rolled them between his fingers contemplating what he felt.
"What's the point of having these? Just to be reminded that I'm just an outcast in the groups? I don't belong..."
His thoughts ended as he opened his eyes. With a deep inhale, he gently set them on the floor. Standing up he crunched the pearls underneath his boots.
It did nothing. Nothing about how he felt changed. Letting out a sigh, he got a broom and dustpan, proceeding to clean up the mess. He needed to get to his post. Whether or not he had the company of other Sworn or Paladins, it didn't change his feelings. His sense of forlorn.
Kage crouched, perched upon the spot on the railing where he first met Salem. Where he himself started to sit before he changed. Where he now sat, as per his usual. This was his spot. Where he could watch the comings and goings of the Quicksand, listening to any possible news or whispers of the happenings in the city. Was the Sultana in jeopardy?
He closed his eyes in a moment of small reprieve, trying to listen to everything and nothing at the same time. Give them their privacies. Any dumbarses willing to threat the Sultana would meet the goals.
And yet... and yet... his thoughts were still consumed by an increasingly overwhelming feeling of emptiness. He felt hollow. His gaze, his thoughts, his feelings. Were they hollow as well? Was he trapped in a gaol of his own, locked way from the people he loved?
Had he faltered?
