@OP:
I won't make light of this. In full seriousness, I've been in a similar such situation at one point in my own life.  I don't think that these are concerns that impact the greater RP community so deeply as they do your own personal life, which probably explains what may be regarded as lightheartedness within many of the responses given so far (or they may just think you're a troll, which could also be the case I suppose, though I'll write the rest of this post assuming that you aren't).
It's not for any of us really to agree what is acceptable for you or your significant other, or to judge your relationship. Â ERP can be a minor plot point and may be looked upon as something innocent and fun that adds a particular dimension to a character relationship and something not to be taken very seriously. Â Conversely, it can be a very intimite thing between two players if there are real feelings involved - this all varies widely depending on the players and their views and reasons.
As another poster mentioned, what is right and wrong is something best kept to a serious discussion between the two of you about what is necessary for your relationship to carry on, or if it can endure after what may be looked upon as betrayal, and if there's enough value for it to be worth carrying on at all. Â I would encourage you to remember that your happiness and dignity are important though.
I would imagine, or at least hope, that most who are in real relationships and who have characters that ERP, are honest and upfront with their RL partners about it, otherwise it can probably trigger a lot of awful stuff. There almost certainly needs to be some sort of understanding, otherwise it's only going to drive a wedge in your relationship.
Whatever your choices, I wish you well in who you are and in all that you do.
I won't make light of this. In full seriousness, I've been in a similar such situation at one point in my own life.  I don't think that these are concerns that impact the greater RP community so deeply as they do your own personal life, which probably explains what may be regarded as lightheartedness within many of the responses given so far (or they may just think you're a troll, which could also be the case I suppose, though I'll write the rest of this post assuming that you aren't).
It's not for any of us really to agree what is acceptable for you or your significant other, or to judge your relationship. Â ERP can be a minor plot point and may be looked upon as something innocent and fun that adds a particular dimension to a character relationship and something not to be taken very seriously. Â Conversely, it can be a very intimite thing between two players if there are real feelings involved - this all varies widely depending on the players and their views and reasons.
As another poster mentioned, what is right and wrong is something best kept to a serious discussion between the two of you about what is necessary for your relationship to carry on, or if it can endure after what may be looked upon as betrayal, and if there's enough value for it to be worth carrying on at all. Â I would encourage you to remember that your happiness and dignity are important though.
I would imagine, or at least hope, that most who are in real relationships and who have characters that ERP, are honest and upfront with their RL partners about it, otherwise it can probably trigger a lot of awful stuff. There almost certainly needs to be some sort of understanding, otherwise it's only going to drive a wedge in your relationship.
Whatever your choices, I wish you well in who you are and in all that you do.
"One of the deep secrets of life is that all that is really worth doing is what we do for others." Â ~ Lewis Carol
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Eva's Journals  |  Eva's Wiki Page (coming soon)  |  RP Handbook
