"...and my appreciation to you, lass, for the fine introduction, but I'm still going to get back to you about that other introduction that didn't quite go so well..."
It took a little effort for the tall Highlander to duck the damp towel, such that his long hair and even the crisply-maintained beard flowed with the speed of the motion, but the tossed rag disappeared behind him and behind the chandelier-lit wooden corner stage, to fall behind it and dwell with whatever other discarded items the accumulation of time might be hiding back there.
"Thank you, love, though that wasn't exactly the sort of linens I'd hoped you'd be tossing!"
He was sitting upright once more in a hurry, perched on the purloined barstool that was the only furniture on the little tavern's performance stage.
"Right, then, and another good evenin' to you, fellows and femmes, may your purses be as big and open as your hearts and your joys even bigger. I can already see that we have a room full of wandering eyes and wandering hearts, and what is a bard if he can't see them at a moment's glance? No doubt, some of you are hoping to find beds and hands not your own to see you through this lovely night, so I'll open up a bit with a word o' caution, especially for you other fellows out there who might end up ducking tossed items such as I just have."
He adjusted himself on the stool, sitting erect, and cradled in his hands the ornately-crafted lute that had hung at his side. A moment passed in which he caresses the strings as if they were a lover's bodice, but he cleared his throat, strummed a bass note to set the mood, and filled the room with his voice again, accompanied by a rollicking, fast tempoed gift from the instrument.
"Come all ye tender hearts, unto me pay your attention:
Beware that villain Love, for she's a demon's own invention
For I once fell into it for a Roe-maid so bewitching:
Miss Morning Mist, a serving maid in Aleport's finest kitchen."
Though she be fair of face, and you might love her like no other,
Beware her machinations, lest you end up in a gutter.."
The singing and tempo lulled, and the Highlander grinned foxlike at the audience. "I can already see the maids ready to bean me with bottles. Squeeze them tight, lads, for it gets only worse from here!"
"At sixteen tender years, I was attunin' to my strings,
'Twas middling far from the corner bar where Mist served tasty things
I paid her such attentions that had left her eyelids twitchin'
And so we snuck in back to have a tryst within the kitchen.
"Though she be fair of face, and you might love her like no other,
Beware her machinations, lest you end up in a gutter.."
"A blessed blissful week passed, when we frolicked every night
I was a-falling quickly, and she had my heart locked tight
She said she was no wife, though she might have been a wishin'
So I hadn't any dread of what might find us in the kitchen"
"Though she be fair of face, and you might love her like no other,
Beware her machinations, lest you end up in a gutter.."
The singing paused once more, long enough for the bard to offer a basso chuckle. "This is always the part where it gets mucked up, no?" He waggled his brows, and continued.
"With hand upon my mast, she told me how she did adore me
When the sound of splintered wood became a first and only warning
The Misty eyes turned hateful, and her voice went to a spittin'
About how I dared to set upon a maid within her kitchen!"
"Though she be fair of face, and you might love her like no other,
Beware her machinations, lest you end up in a gutter.."
"For inward stomped a Roegadyn of muscles broad and massive
The veins upon his forehead showed him anything but passive
And though I'd been aroused, and fully naked in condition
The smarter parts within me sent me scamp'ring from the kitchen."
"Though she be fair of face, and you might love her like no other,
Beware her machinations, lest you end up in a gutter.."
"The truth was as you'd guess it, she'd already had a man
Whose ire could crush ingots with a squeeze of either hand
She shouted of her innocence, and damned me to perdition
And I never did return to claim more courtin' from her kitchen!"
"Though she was fair of face, and I had turned her like no other,
To this day, her beau would like to stuff me in a gutter.."
The song reached its crescendo, and he topped it off with a rapid staccato plucking before bringing the instrument to stillness.
"And so to this day, lords and ladies, I seldom believe a woman's tale that I am the only one, and it has yet sufficed me to be but her only one Right Now."
He dipped his head, and waited for the crowd to still somewhat before planning the next offering.
It took a little effort for the tall Highlander to duck the damp towel, such that his long hair and even the crisply-maintained beard flowed with the speed of the motion, but the tossed rag disappeared behind him and behind the chandelier-lit wooden corner stage, to fall behind it and dwell with whatever other discarded items the accumulation of time might be hiding back there.
"Thank you, love, though that wasn't exactly the sort of linens I'd hoped you'd be tossing!"
He was sitting upright once more in a hurry, perched on the purloined barstool that was the only furniture on the little tavern's performance stage.
"Right, then, and another good evenin' to you, fellows and femmes, may your purses be as big and open as your hearts and your joys even bigger. I can already see that we have a room full of wandering eyes and wandering hearts, and what is a bard if he can't see them at a moment's glance? No doubt, some of you are hoping to find beds and hands not your own to see you through this lovely night, so I'll open up a bit with a word o' caution, especially for you other fellows out there who might end up ducking tossed items such as I just have."
He adjusted himself on the stool, sitting erect, and cradled in his hands the ornately-crafted lute that had hung at his side. A moment passed in which he caresses the strings as if they were a lover's bodice, but he cleared his throat, strummed a bass note to set the mood, and filled the room with his voice again, accompanied by a rollicking, fast tempoed gift from the instrument.
"Come all ye tender hearts, unto me pay your attention:
Beware that villain Love, for she's a demon's own invention
For I once fell into it for a Roe-maid so bewitching:
Miss Morning Mist, a serving maid in Aleport's finest kitchen."
Though she be fair of face, and you might love her like no other,
Beware her machinations, lest you end up in a gutter.."
The singing and tempo lulled, and the Highlander grinned foxlike at the audience. "I can already see the maids ready to bean me with bottles. Squeeze them tight, lads, for it gets only worse from here!"
"At sixteen tender years, I was attunin' to my strings,
'Twas middling far from the corner bar where Mist served tasty things
I paid her such attentions that had left her eyelids twitchin'
And so we snuck in back to have a tryst within the kitchen.
"Though she be fair of face, and you might love her like no other,
Beware her machinations, lest you end up in a gutter.."
"A blessed blissful week passed, when we frolicked every night
I was a-falling quickly, and she had my heart locked tight
She said she was no wife, though she might have been a wishin'
So I hadn't any dread of what might find us in the kitchen"
"Though she be fair of face, and you might love her like no other,
Beware her machinations, lest you end up in a gutter.."
The singing paused once more, long enough for the bard to offer a basso chuckle. "This is always the part where it gets mucked up, no?" He waggled his brows, and continued.
"With hand upon my mast, she told me how she did adore me
When the sound of splintered wood became a first and only warning
The Misty eyes turned hateful, and her voice went to a spittin'
About how I dared to set upon a maid within her kitchen!"
"Though she be fair of face, and you might love her like no other,
Beware her machinations, lest you end up in a gutter.."
"For inward stomped a Roegadyn of muscles broad and massive
The veins upon his forehead showed him anything but passive
And though I'd been aroused, and fully naked in condition
The smarter parts within me sent me scamp'ring from the kitchen."
"Though she be fair of face, and you might love her like no other,
Beware her machinations, lest you end up in a gutter.."
"The truth was as you'd guess it, she'd already had a man
Whose ire could crush ingots with a squeeze of either hand
She shouted of her innocence, and damned me to perdition
And I never did return to claim more courtin' from her kitchen!"
"Though she was fair of face, and I had turned her like no other,
To this day, her beau would like to stuff me in a gutter.."
The song reached its crescendo, and he topped it off with a rapid staccato plucking before bringing the instrument to stillness.
"And so to this day, lords and ladies, I seldom believe a woman's tale that I am the only one, and it has yet sufficed me to be but her only one Right Now."
He dipped his head, and waited for the crowd to still somewhat before planning the next offering.
