Askier sat in his workshop, his scared torso was exposed to the cool air. Â His hair fell about his face, the color a lighter hue with white and grey hairs mixed in. Â He had washed the dye out his hair and hadn't bothered to re-apply it. His mind was too full of matters to allow him any concerns of vanity to surface.
Askier was leaning his chin into the palm of metal hand as he hunched over a table, his right hand spinning his large knife over and over.
Askier sighed slowly and closed his eyes.
"You doing alright there old man?"
Askier opened his eyes. Sitting across from Askier was the grinning face of a younger version of himself, dressed in a pressed Garlean uniform.
Askier snorted and shook his head.
"Clearly not, since I'm now hallucinating."
The young Askier vision laughed.
"Well old man, maybe you should stop thinking so much."
"To many of my problems are from not thinking." Askier grumbled as he continued to soon the knife. Â
"I don't know about that." the young Askier took a sip from a metal flask. Â " You were better off before you started moralizing and trying to be a good person. Â You actually were happy."
"I was never happy." Askier growled, the lines around his eyes pressing into wrinkles. "I was just trying to survive. Â Why I joined the Garlean army in the first place. National pride be damned."
"And how did trying to have pride as a Flame soldier go?" the young Askier smirked. Â "You are mentally disqualified, miserable, and considering blowing up half the city to serve your own, selfish desires because your little dream world collapsed and you are now bitter that your adopted philosophy you took from Osric and Kahn'a is a lie. Â You were always a survivor. Nothing more."
"Least I'm aware of my faults." Askier replied as he stopped spinning the knife.
"Are you?"the young Askier mocked with a laugh. Â "Did you not mock Kahn'a and then commit the same act? Did you not once torture for Adin and yet now find it vile? You are a man who doesn't know what they believe anymore and are acting stupid trying to find purpose. Least there was a time when you realized all that matters is looking out for number one. Â That's the only reason you survived the Calamity. You shot your fellow soldiers when they tried to stop you from running, remember?"
"Shut up." Askier growled.
"You think your little plan will work? You talked with Roen. Â That girl has good as damned herself. You know how people like Nero end up. Your father-in-law was just the same, remember? Â Make the world better, and look how far he went in the end. Â You think what you intend will stop anything?"
"I don't know. I don't know a lot." Askier glared at the young version of himself with hate and jealousy. Had he really been so confident once?
"Then why try? What is your end goal, Askier?" the young version of himself stared at him with golden eyes. Askier took a deep breath and smiled softly.
"There is no end goal anymore. Â To me, the ends don't justify the means, the means are the ends. Â That warehouse exploding and the death of that wretched woman brought me more satisfaction than I have felt in far too long. Â I aim to recreate that feeling over and over. Taeros, Nero, Osric, all those little -idealists- just trying to bury the truth of reality under false concepts."
"Oh?" the young Askier said, crossing his arms."And what is the truth?'
"That entropy always wins out in the end." Askier spun the knife. Â "There is no purpose to anything. Everything ends. So why focus on the ends, when the means bring you joy."
"So you would destroy to create joy for yourself." young Askier said rhetorically. "Askier, I do believe your are mentally unfit."
The older Askier's face split into a toothy grin.
"I could have told you that the moment I started talking to myself."
Askier blinked and the visage of the younger Askier was gone. Â The Garlean took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly as he leaned back in his chair. Â Nero, 'The Beast", Taeros, he wouldn't let them hurt Ul'dah. But only because Ul'dah was his toy to do with as he wanted now, and the Garlean didn't want to share.
Askier was leaning his chin into the palm of metal hand as he hunched over a table, his right hand spinning his large knife over and over.
Askier sighed slowly and closed his eyes.
"You doing alright there old man?"
Askier opened his eyes. Sitting across from Askier was the grinning face of a younger version of himself, dressed in a pressed Garlean uniform.
Askier snorted and shook his head.
"Clearly not, since I'm now hallucinating."
The young Askier vision laughed.
"Well old man, maybe you should stop thinking so much."
"To many of my problems are from not thinking." Askier grumbled as he continued to soon the knife. Â
"I don't know about that." the young Askier took a sip from a metal flask. Â " You were better off before you started moralizing and trying to be a good person. Â You actually were happy."
"I was never happy." Askier growled, the lines around his eyes pressing into wrinkles. "I was just trying to survive. Â Why I joined the Garlean army in the first place. National pride be damned."
"And how did trying to have pride as a Flame soldier go?" the young Askier smirked. Â "You are mentally disqualified, miserable, and considering blowing up half the city to serve your own, selfish desires because your little dream world collapsed and you are now bitter that your adopted philosophy you took from Osric and Kahn'a is a lie. Â You were always a survivor. Nothing more."
"Least I'm aware of my faults." Askier replied as he stopped spinning the knife.
"Are you?"the young Askier mocked with a laugh. Â "Did you not mock Kahn'a and then commit the same act? Did you not once torture for Adin and yet now find it vile? You are a man who doesn't know what they believe anymore and are acting stupid trying to find purpose. Least there was a time when you realized all that matters is looking out for number one. Â That's the only reason you survived the Calamity. You shot your fellow soldiers when they tried to stop you from running, remember?"
"Shut up." Askier growled.
"You think your little plan will work? You talked with Roen. Â That girl has good as damned herself. You know how people like Nero end up. Your father-in-law was just the same, remember? Â Make the world better, and look how far he went in the end. Â You think what you intend will stop anything?"
"I don't know. I don't know a lot." Askier glared at the young version of himself with hate and jealousy. Had he really been so confident once?
"Then why try? What is your end goal, Askier?" the young version of himself stared at him with golden eyes. Askier took a deep breath and smiled softly.
"There is no end goal anymore. Â To me, the ends don't justify the means, the means are the ends. Â That warehouse exploding and the death of that wretched woman brought me more satisfaction than I have felt in far too long. Â I aim to recreate that feeling over and over. Taeros, Nero, Osric, all those little -idealists- just trying to bury the truth of reality under false concepts."
"Oh?" the young Askier said, crossing his arms."And what is the truth?'
"That entropy always wins out in the end." Askier spun the knife. Â "There is no purpose to anything. Everything ends. So why focus on the ends, when the means bring you joy."
"So you would destroy to create joy for yourself." young Askier said rhetorically. "Askier, I do believe your are mentally unfit."
The older Askier's face split into a toothy grin.
"I could have told you that the moment I started talking to myself."
Askier blinked and the visage of the younger Askier was gone. Â The Garlean took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly as he leaned back in his chair. Â Nero, 'The Beast", Taeros, he wouldn't let them hurt Ul'dah. But only because Ul'dah was his toy to do with as he wanted now, and the Garlean didn't want to share.
