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[Completed Journal] Blonde Moments (Lilithium Altair)


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[Completed Journal] Blonde Moments (Lilithium Altair)
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Parvacakev
Parvacake
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RE: Blonde Moments. (Lilithium Altair's Ramblings) ((Journal!)) |
#10
11-07-2014, 01:11 PM
No.

No, no, no, no, no.

How had it all gone so horrendously wrong?

She didn't get out of bed that morning. She didn't have the strength too. Though the rest of the Society could easily dispute that the whole thing was a success in every way, she felt like they had failed. Yes, they succeeded in their original goal: Ox was now healthy and of good cheer in a new body. He wasn't going to rot and wither before their eyes anymore.

But the body they chose...

Velstraz.

No.

Ghislan.

Lili began to retch again, leaning over the side of her bed for a bucket that she had gotten at ready in the middle of the night when the first spasms of bile overtook her. But even as she straddled the bucket in her lap and coughed, there was nothing more for her system to give. Twelve, she couldn't even cry anymore.

It should have been a joyous reunion. She got what so many widows ached and yearned for. She got her husband back, alive and well, with limbs in tact and sound of mind. He had been alive all of these years, prisoner to the Garleans and forced to work as their agent while the rest of the world deemed him dead.

But why wasn't she happy?

She felt like she was supposed to be happy. Ecstatic really. Her children had their father back, her family could once more be made whole, Ado could know who was the man who raised his brother and sisters...

The pit in her stomach felt like it got deeper.

Even thinking of it that way she wasn't happy.

After spending years of mourning, grieving, and having weeks worth of time where the emotional fatigue kept her from performing basic functions like getting out of bed, she had gotten to a point almost two years ago where she could finally live. Where she didn't dwell on his supposed demise on a constant basis and where she could crave the touch and comfort of another without feeling shame or guilt for it. Like she was committing some form of infidelity against his memory. Hells, she nearly got married. 

Sweat formed over her brow just at the thought, and in a pathetic way she thanked her deities that that never happened. She might've tossed herself off a balcony.

It was then that she glanced towards the door and saw a letter on the floor a little ways from it, like someone slipped it under her door at some point in the night. Setting down the bucket and wrapping herself in her blankets and quilts, Lili shuffled across the room with measured steps. She didn't want to faint again.

She felt cold as death when she reached down for the note and read it, the script familiar in more then one way. Her lips started to tremble as she crumpled the note in her hand. It wasn't just Ghislan she was dealing with anymore. Ox was a part of this too. If possible, she felt even more wretched. Ox and him shared each other's thoughts and memories, blending together until they formed a single entity.

One person.

In an all too familiar body.

The blonde never even made it back to the bed. She fell to the floor in a heap on her hands and knees and sobbed.

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Messages In This Thread
[Completed Journal] Blonde Moments (Lilithium Altair) - by Parvacake - 10-03-2014, 12:31 PM
RE: Blonde Moments. (Lilithium Altair's Ramblings) ((Journal!)) - by Parvacake - 10-05-2014, 03:00 AM
RE: Blonde Moments. (Lilithium Altair's Ramblings) ((Journal!)) - by Parvacake - 10-10-2014, 01:30 AM
RE: Blonde Moments. (Lilithium Altair's Ramblings) ((Journal!)) - by Parvacake - 10-13-2014, 08:52 PM
RE: Blonde Moments. (Lilithium Altair's Ramblings) ((Journal!)) - by Parvacake - 10-17-2014, 02:06 AM
RE: Blonde Moments. (Lilithium Altair's Ramblings) ((Journal!)) - by Parvacake - 10-19-2014, 04:19 AM
RE: Blonde Moments. (Lilithium Altair's Ramblings) ((Journal!)) - by Parvacake - 10-23-2014, 08:18 AM
RE: Blonde Moments. (Lilithium Altair's Ramblings) ((Journal!)) - by Parvacake - 10-25-2014, 04:32 PM
RE: Blonde Moments. (Lilithium Altair's Ramblings) ((Journal!)) - by Parvacake - 11-02-2014, 10:55 AM
RE: Blonde Moments. (Lilithium Altair's Ramblings) ((Journal!)) - by Parvacake - 11-07-2014, 01:11 PM
RE: Blonde Moments. (Lilithium Altair's Ramblings) ((Journal!)) - by Parvacake - 11-10-2014, 07:55 AM
RE: Blonde Moments. (Lilithium Altair's Ramblings) ((Journal!)) - by Parvacake - 11-15-2014, 07:40 AM
RE: Blonde Moments. (Lilithium Altair's Ramblings) ((Journal!)) - by Parvacake - 11-22-2014, 12:29 AM
RE: Blonde Moments. (Lilithium Altair's Ramblings) ((Journal!)) - by Parvacake - 12-07-2014, 08:19 PM
RE: Blonde Moments. (Lilithium Altair's Ramblings) ((Journal!)) - by Parvacake - 12-16-2014, 12:48 PM
RE: Blonde Moments. (Lilithium Altair's Ramblings) ((Journal!)) - by Parvacake - 12-21-2014, 04:00 AM
RE: Blonde Moments. (Lilithium Altair's Ramblings) ((Journal!)) - by Parvacake - 12-31-2014, 02:47 PM
RE: Blonde Moments. (Lilithium Altair's Ramblings) ((Journal!)) - by Parvacake - 01-18-2015, 01:50 PM
RE: Blonde Moments. (Lilithium Altair's Ramblings) ((Journal!)) - by Parvacake - 01-28-2015, 11:07 AM
RE: Blonde Moments. (Lilithium Altair's Ramblings) ((Journal!)) - by Parvacake - 02-24-2015, 01:37 AM
RE: Blonde Moments. (Lilithium Altair's Ramblings) ((Journal!)) - by Parvacake - 02-27-2015, 05:36 AM
RE: Blonde Moments. (Lilithium Altair's Ramblings) ((Journal!)) - by Parvacake - 03-18-2015, 06:56 AM
RE: Blonde Moments. (Lilithium Altair's Ramblings) ((Journal!)) - by Parvacake - 06-28-2015, 05:26 AM
RE: [Journal] Blonde Moments (Lilithium Rinannis Altair) - by Parvacake - 07-20-2016, 05:23 PM
RE: [Journal] Blonde Moments (Lilithium Rinannis Altair) - by Parvacake - 08-02-2016, 11:32 AM
RE: [Journal] Blonde Moments (Lilithium Rinannis Altair) - by Parvacake - 08-16-2016, 12:55 PM
RE: [Journal] Blonde Moments (Lilithium Rinannis Altair) - by Parvacake - 08-26-2016, 03:52 PM
RE: [Journal] Blonde Moments (Lilithium Rinannis Altair) - by Parvacake - 09-07-2016, 01:13 AM
RE: [Journal] Blonde Moments (Lilithium Rinannis Altair) - by Parvacake - 09-17-2016, 07:06 PM
RE: [Journal] Blonde Moments (Lilithium Rinannis Altair) - by Parvacake - 09-21-2016, 12:41 PM
RE: [Completed Journal] Blonde Moments (Lilithium Altair) - by Parvacake - 01-23-2017, 01:18 PM

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