Everything that has already been said: +1.
For me, it all comes down to OOC communication where needed. Granted, I prefer bottom-up RP (where there isn't an OOCly communicated plot), but that doesn't mean that there isn't any OOC communication about what is and is not okay.
The conflict should only exist ICly. OOCly, you and your opponent should be on the same side - the side that creates an enjoyable story.
For me, it all comes down to OOC communication where needed. Granted, I prefer bottom-up RP (where there isn't an OOCly communicated plot), but that doesn't mean that there isn't any OOC communication about what is and is not okay.
The conflict should only exist ICly. OOCly, you and your opponent should be on the same side - the side that creates an enjoyable story.