(12-02-2014, 04:18 PM)Kellach Woods Wrote: Not saying I don't give the benefit of the doubt. Just that the benefit runs out FAST. It's something I need to work on, but it doesn't help when you just don't know that many people. If you can fall back on others or other stuff, then the blow stings a whole lot less.
I'm also not used to having more than one person I can rely on for shit, and even that is... not something I'm used to. At all.
That's why, to me, it's the first step. If it keeps happening, more than a few times, then you go for the alternate method of contact and the 'hey, I noticed ___ and I was wondering ___.' Too often, in my experience, people will sort of try to sidestep what they actually want to say, and the recipient either doesn't understand what you're getting at or understands it differently from the way you meant it. Being clear is important. Downside is that yeah, you do face the potential for equally clear rejection (or, imo, what's worse: the recipient doesn't know how to respond and so just...doesn't).
Take baby steps. If you invest a lot of emotion in a lot of new people, it's going to be a lot more draining and stressful when miscommunication and/or other issues crop up. People are people -- ain't none of us perfect, and the acquaintance you thought was one way might wind up to be another way, and suddenly you don't match as well any more. That's why, to me, it makes a lot more sense to work up slowly if you're easily hurt or tend to invest a lot of yourself into one person.
But, like you said, it does suck much more if you're isolated to begin with. There aren't any words that will ease that sting -- but do remember social rejection is something everyone faces down. Keep trying. Eventually you'll find some gems in the pile of rocks.
...and to reiterate, communication is super duper important. Unless they are ignoring you across multiple means of communication, don't give up after a few times. Especially when it comes to in game stuff -- back when I was an officer for a raiding guild I can't tell you how many times I'd miss whispers from potential recruits due to being caught up in guild stuff, planning stuff, or zoning out farming -- only to have them leave a post on our main recruitment thread that I didn't respond. >< It does happen!
