"I..."
Chachanji soaked in his mentors words, his brief retelling of his past, took in his questions and mulled over them. Why did he want to protect people? His immediate response was that it was just the right thing to do - that's what you do when someone's in trouble, right? You help them.
There are many ways you can help people without becoming a Paladin.
Ser Crofte's words intruded on his thoughts again. He had not wanted to admit it - and it was still difficult to admit to, even now - but she had raised a very good point. He already did plenty of things to help people; he worked as an adventurer under Ms. Momodi's care to do errands and help the populace of Ul'dah. It wasn't the most heroic of work in his mind, but he was helping people, trying to make a difference. What would being a Paladin do differently, beyond the simple heroic mantle of its title?
Did he simply want recognition? To be readily identified as a hero due to his position as a Paladin? Ser Romy had mentioned that most heroes were merely those who died in a grand fashion, and that he'd be her hero if he simply completed his training. What really defined a hero, and was it something that he truly could attain? Did desiring to be a hero make him ineligible to become one?
"I still think yer really great, Ser Warren," he managed, speaking at least on something he knew for certain. He really did think the Hyur Free Paladin was an amazing person - kind and strong and willing to help. Even the bits about growing overprotective and ultimately realizing he was protecting people for his own purposes, it just made the Paladin all the more incredible to the little Lalafell. While Warren may have learned his reasons too late, he had learned them... and was trying to pass on the knowledge to him.
What grand mistake would Chachan commit before he realized his own reasons for wanting to protect people? Who would be hurt? Who might he lose? It was those uncertainties that worried the Lalafell and left him struggling for words.
"As fer me... I... I dunno," the youngest Gegenji admitted. "When I left me home, me life there... it all made sense. I'd be a hero, I'd protect people 'n that was that. But now... I'm not sure. I never really questioned th' 'why's' 'n now that I'm bein' asked ta, I'm drawin' a blank."
The Lalafell leaned back, letting his helmet thunk solidly against the trunk of the tree as he gazed up through its branches. He inhaled slowly through his nose, and exhalted slowly through his mouth. When he spoke again, his cobbled-together and rather bombastic "Eorzean" accent was weak - his mind too fixated elsewhere to keep up appearances. With all the thoughts and emotions flitting through his mind, it was a surprise he didn't just slip fully back into his native tongue.
"Maybe... I just wanted to be a hero for the sake of it..."
Chachanji soaked in his mentors words, his brief retelling of his past, took in his questions and mulled over them. Why did he want to protect people? His immediate response was that it was just the right thing to do - that's what you do when someone's in trouble, right? You help them.
There are many ways you can help people without becoming a Paladin.
Ser Crofte's words intruded on his thoughts again. He had not wanted to admit it - and it was still difficult to admit to, even now - but she had raised a very good point. He already did plenty of things to help people; he worked as an adventurer under Ms. Momodi's care to do errands and help the populace of Ul'dah. It wasn't the most heroic of work in his mind, but he was helping people, trying to make a difference. What would being a Paladin do differently, beyond the simple heroic mantle of its title?
Did he simply want recognition? To be readily identified as a hero due to his position as a Paladin? Ser Romy had mentioned that most heroes were merely those who died in a grand fashion, and that he'd be her hero if he simply completed his training. What really defined a hero, and was it something that he truly could attain? Did desiring to be a hero make him ineligible to become one?
"I still think yer really great, Ser Warren," he managed, speaking at least on something he knew for certain. He really did think the Hyur Free Paladin was an amazing person - kind and strong and willing to help. Even the bits about growing overprotective and ultimately realizing he was protecting people for his own purposes, it just made the Paladin all the more incredible to the little Lalafell. While Warren may have learned his reasons too late, he had learned them... and was trying to pass on the knowledge to him.
What grand mistake would Chachan commit before he realized his own reasons for wanting to protect people? Who would be hurt? Who might he lose? It was those uncertainties that worried the Lalafell and left him struggling for words.
"As fer me... I... I dunno," the youngest Gegenji admitted. "When I left me home, me life there... it all made sense. I'd be a hero, I'd protect people 'n that was that. But now... I'm not sure. I never really questioned th' 'why's' 'n now that I'm bein' asked ta, I'm drawin' a blank."
The Lalafell leaned back, letting his helmet thunk solidly against the trunk of the tree as he gazed up through its branches. He inhaled slowly through his nose, and exhalted slowly through his mouth. When he spoke again, his cobbled-together and rather bombastic "Eorzean" accent was weak - his mind too fixated elsewhere to keep up appearances. With all the thoughts and emotions flitting through his mind, it was a surprise he didn't just slip fully back into his native tongue.
"Maybe... I just wanted to be a hero for the sake of it..."