Slutshaming
Mostly slutshaming applies to women, but men are not exempt from this either. Urban dictionary covers the definition with a certain degree of humor while this article here also covers more of the male equivalent of slutshaming, and both of these have some degree of basis even in MMOs.
The concept itself varies from game to game when it comes to the RP community. Like all RP communities both as a group and as individuals, we turn to the lore and NPCs to find some sort of basis for cultural norms and mannerisms that our characters can abide by. Quests, leves, dungeons, cutscenes...FF14 is a rich world for which a little extra digging is required to find the information we want.
Out of many MMOs I have seen, this one is perhaps one of the more liberal when it comes to matters of the flesh. There's a GSM leve in Costa that shrugs at whether or not his/her master likes males or females. There's a number of NPCs in Limsa and around La Noscea that talk about coitus, and a two lalafell on either side of a female miqo'te in Costa where one explains how he's pleasured many women in his 55 summers.
This leads into the next big topic of the guide, and one that will be faced very often when practicing polyamory or any kind of liberal sexual practice: slutshaming.
There are no right or wrong ways to handle slutshaming. You ignore them, it can continue or get worse. You do something, you're seen as being defensive and validating their claims (speaking of all of this in an IC perspective).
Even OOC, I've dealt with slutshaming moreso then any other form of harassment or slander that can be leveled at any one person save for being made fun of for my hearing aides and disabilities. I've been called a whore, a slut, a selfish heathen, and the list goes on and gets into seedier and more vile territory. In RP, it can be much the same when playing a polyamorous character.
There are two major issues coming with slutshaming, and I'll list them as well as possible ways the characters can deal with them.
OOC and IC blending: This one is vague, and it's one seen in other areas of RP. There's always those who use an excuse to be a promiscuous character in order to get ERP or personal gratification. We've all seen it or heard of it at least once or twice. It's not uncommon for those who simply choose to play such character types to be leveled with these kind of accusations, or even looked down upon OOCly for things our characters have done.
For example, Lili (my monogamous character who had a bout of exploration when it came to multiple relationships some months back) has been called plenty of names due to her more liberal practices even though she's mellowed out quite a bit since then. Recently I was called a (insert expletive about me sucking another FC member's manlibits) and other things that my character had done but that were leveled against me, the player, like I had done them.
IC actions beget IC consequences and OOC actions beget OOC consequences. If during the course of RP this happens to you? Calmly speak with the player about it. Express to them how this makes you feel and even go as far as to ask them why they'd do such a thing. Sometimes you'll get a response, sometimes they rageblock, it all varies. If a calm approach doesn't work, blocking and deleting usually does. But if you can avoid going that far, try your best to do so!
IC harassment: If it becomes more well known about your character's polyamory, it likely will happen a time or two that they are approached by another character either to be confronted on their actions or propositioned because some will mistake them of being 'easy' because they may have two or three partners more then the standard norm.
Reactions will vary due to the character, but humor is always a fun approach. Whether to crack a joke or become amused, it usually can be unsettling for the one that approached. Sometimes it even makes them feel foolish and they stop, or frustrates them and they leave.
Another approach, though less commonly done, is pointedly ignoring them or silence. Most characters don't do this because of personality and the nature of how they were approached, but some of my characters have done this over the course of RPs I've done and it can achieve similar results as being humorous does.
Quote:“Around eighth grade Margot started getting really sensitive about her weight, even though she wasn’t remotely fat—just a little round-faced. So Margot did what any normal fourteen-year-old girl would do. She started puking on purpose, every day after fifth period. Of course now, she does more than puke. But we don’t talk about that. Because real friends don’t judge each other for what they do to survive in hell.â€
― Isobel Irons, Promiscuous
Quote:“The word 'slut' (in patois) was repeated over and over, until suddenly I felt as if I were drowning in a well but instead of the well being filled with water it was filled with the word 'slut,' and it was pouring in through my eyes, my ears, my nostrils, my mouth. As if to save myself, I turned to her and said, 'Well, like father like son, like mother like daughter.â€
― Jamaica Kincaid, Annie John
Quote: “A woman isn't a whore for wanting pleasure. If it were unnatural, we would not be born with such drives.â€
― Nenia Campbell, Bound to Accept
Mostly slutshaming applies to women, but men are not exempt from this either. Urban dictionary covers the definition with a certain degree of humor while this article here also covers more of the male equivalent of slutshaming, and both of these have some degree of basis even in MMOs.
The concept itself varies from game to game when it comes to the RP community. Like all RP communities both as a group and as individuals, we turn to the lore and NPCs to find some sort of basis for cultural norms and mannerisms that our characters can abide by. Quests, leves, dungeons, cutscenes...FF14 is a rich world for which a little extra digging is required to find the information we want.
Out of many MMOs I have seen, this one is perhaps one of the more liberal when it comes to matters of the flesh. There's a GSM leve in Costa that shrugs at whether or not his/her master likes males or females. There's a number of NPCs in Limsa and around La Noscea that talk about coitus, and a two lalafell on either side of a female miqo'te in Costa where one explains how he's pleasured many women in his 55 summers.
This leads into the next big topic of the guide, and one that will be faced very often when practicing polyamory or any kind of liberal sexual practice: slutshaming.
There are no right or wrong ways to handle slutshaming. You ignore them, it can continue or get worse. You do something, you're seen as being defensive and validating their claims (speaking of all of this in an IC perspective).
Even OOC, I've dealt with slutshaming moreso then any other form of harassment or slander that can be leveled at any one person save for being made fun of for my hearing aides and disabilities. I've been called a whore, a slut, a selfish heathen, and the list goes on and gets into seedier and more vile territory. In RP, it can be much the same when playing a polyamorous character.
There are two major issues coming with slutshaming, and I'll list them as well as possible ways the characters can deal with them.
OOC and IC blending: This one is vague, and it's one seen in other areas of RP. There's always those who use an excuse to be a promiscuous character in order to get ERP or personal gratification. We've all seen it or heard of it at least once or twice. It's not uncommon for those who simply choose to play such character types to be leveled with these kind of accusations, or even looked down upon OOCly for things our characters have done.
For example, Lili (my monogamous character who had a bout of exploration when it came to multiple relationships some months back) has been called plenty of names due to her more liberal practices even though she's mellowed out quite a bit since then. Recently I was called a (insert expletive about me sucking another FC member's manlibits) and other things that my character had done but that were leveled against me, the player, like I had done them.
IC actions beget IC consequences and OOC actions beget OOC consequences. If during the course of RP this happens to you? Calmly speak with the player about it. Express to them how this makes you feel and even go as far as to ask them why they'd do such a thing. Sometimes you'll get a response, sometimes they rageblock, it all varies. If a calm approach doesn't work, blocking and deleting usually does. But if you can avoid going that far, try your best to do so!
IC harassment: If it becomes more well known about your character's polyamory, it likely will happen a time or two that they are approached by another character either to be confronted on their actions or propositioned because some will mistake them of being 'easy' because they may have two or three partners more then the standard norm.
Reactions will vary due to the character, but humor is always a fun approach. Whether to crack a joke or become amused, it usually can be unsettling for the one that approached. Sometimes it even makes them feel foolish and they stop, or frustrates them and they leave.
Another approach, though less commonly done, is pointedly ignoring them or silence. Most characters don't do this because of personality and the nature of how they were approached, but some of my characters have done this over the course of RPs I've done and it can achieve similar results as being humorous does.
