How quick the surface is. Things move at such a fast pace, over and over, everything continues to place it's little bits of Knowledge so quickly, that it's hard to keep up.
I met with Ellemeare, and some man who'd give not his name.
The former [blot] She [spot] she said she considered me a friend. I [a few blots] I mean, I don't know how that happened, especially considering how she explained. She said that I was one of the few things constant in her life, that.. I was there when others had gone, and. [a few more blots] Well, I feel I've hardly been there at all. I think we've met all of four times, perhaps? And I know so very little about her, or [blot] well, at least I feel I do. And she even less of me. And yet. [a few more spots] She seems to trust me somehow.
Hells, I don't even know if I trust myself all that much, in a number of situations. Especially where she [blot] well, something more seemed to have occurred as well. Her mentor was accidentally killed by.. some uncontrolled flaring of Aether, and she blames herself for it. That.. must be dreadful, especially after she'd mentioned that she saved his life before. She sounds to have gotten into all manner of messes, but is learning more how to control her power, at the least. [a few spots] She asked if I could give her a hug once she told me.
She needed.. something, surely, and [a few spots] I know little of friendships, how one is meant to be a good friend, I'd always thought it was to do with knowing each other, and with that, such things would come. [blot] I write as though I were some emotionless being, lost and unsure of what it is to have such inclinations, and while I'm not the former, I really don't know how to go about showing the latter~ Everything seems so different up here, what if friendship is not the same on the surface? Though, really, I've only read about it, because as I understand it, friends are not Family, and [a few blots] well many would not count Vathen. That really only leaves those of Little Solace. It is perfectly possible though, that all manner of cultures do things differently. I'm not sure it would be appreciated if I gave Ellemeare some poisonous milkroot, and greeted her with a dance, as the Sylphs would enjoy, and I really don't know how else to go about it.
Though despite my fears of either freezing or burning her, I did give her a hug. ... I hope I didn't do it wrong. I've never [blot] well, no one really.. ever touches me. Why would anyone want to get close to someone who erupts in Aether every other given moment? It's really just.. [blot] logical sense, I suppose, but. She wanted to anyway. I.. managed to keep it down and not hurt her, and.. well, whatever I did it seemed to soothe her some.
She is so incredibly nice to me. Incredibly nice. She showers me with kind words, and trust when she knows me so little, and [spot] It's It sounds odd, but I don't even understand it~ Well, I mean, of course I understand that she's being nice, but. As in just [spot] just why? I'm trying to accept it, it is likely just who she is, but it's still just... incredibly... different. Is it wrong to be worried about someone being kind~? Probably. But I feel like.. I feel like I should somehow be able to return such feelings of, apparently, utmost trust, and I just cannot. At least not in the way that she seems to feel. I trust her enough not to wish me harm, or [blot] ill, and to keep her word when she claims she'd do something, but, there is still.. that doesn't seem like the same trust she claims to have in me. It's not because of her, but because I don't really know her yet. We've not been through enough, I know little beyond her niceness, troubles, and the few choice life details she decides to tell me, and she knows near nothing of myself. I can't help but wonder if this is some [blot] cultural dichotomy, but. Well, I suppose that is part of why I'm about, hm? Not to say that I don't like her, and don't wish to be her friend, I'm.. flattered, and pleasantly surprised, despite not knowing what I'm doing~ But I [spot] I suppose I wish it were more equal somehow, in feeling. I hope I don't disappoint her too terribly. [spot]
She did something else, though, that is of note. I believe she attempted to suppress my Aether. Keeping the heat down to a cool, but when she did [blot] I felt [a few spots]
It finally came back. The uneven spells of whatever in the hells is wrong with me. It hadn't happened for a long while, quite a long while. Much longer than it had ever stayed at bay Below, so much that I could, of course, move about freely. Explore without issue. It never seemed to come up! And it has been such a treat, such a freedom to be able to move about as I please, but. Then... it surfaced. Not much. Only just a little. And... well I'd been wondering where it'd gone.
It was actually more exciting than it was worrying, because then I knew a bit more about it. Whatever sort of Aether suppression she managed, it brought it back; which. Well, I mean, I had been wondering if I should suppress my Aether all along, but this implies I shouldn't. That I should let it be as it is, however it's changed itself, and I'll be able to move about~ By the gods, I can't imagine how it would've gone if I had done something myself in the ways of suppression. It likely would have been much stronger, which may have been much worse for me. And she did a good job of it too! Managed to keep it down to a point that wouldn't hurt her [a few blots]
I need to think on this more. But there it is, anyway.
She now resides at the Goblet, in the case that I should wish to visit this... family she's staying with. I [blot]
I met with Ellemeare, and some man who'd give not his name.
The former [blot] She [spot] she said she considered me a friend. I [a few blots] I mean, I don't know how that happened, especially considering how she explained. She said that I was one of the few things constant in her life, that.. I was there when others had gone, and. [a few more blots] Well, I feel I've hardly been there at all. I think we've met all of four times, perhaps? And I know so very little about her, or [blot] well, at least I feel I do. And she even less of me. And yet. [a few more spots] She seems to trust me somehow.
Hells, I don't even know if I trust myself all that much, in a number of situations. Especially where she [blot] well, something more seemed to have occurred as well. Her mentor was accidentally killed by.. some uncontrolled flaring of Aether, and she blames herself for it. That.. must be dreadful, especially after she'd mentioned that she saved his life before. She sounds to have gotten into all manner of messes, but is learning more how to control her power, at the least. [a few spots] She asked if I could give her a hug once she told me.
She needed.. something, surely, and [a few spots] I know little of friendships, how one is meant to be a good friend, I'd always thought it was to do with knowing each other, and with that, such things would come. [blot] I write as though I were some emotionless being, lost and unsure of what it is to have such inclinations, and while I'm not the former, I really don't know how to go about showing the latter~ Everything seems so different up here, what if friendship is not the same on the surface? Though, really, I've only read about it, because as I understand it, friends are not Family, and [a few blots] well many would not count Vathen. That really only leaves those of Little Solace. It is perfectly possible though, that all manner of cultures do things differently. I'm not sure it would be appreciated if I gave Ellemeare some poisonous milkroot, and greeted her with a dance, as the Sylphs would enjoy, and I really don't know how else to go about it.
Though despite my fears of either freezing or burning her, I did give her a hug. ... I hope I didn't do it wrong. I've never [blot] well, no one really.. ever touches me. Why would anyone want to get close to someone who erupts in Aether every other given moment? It's really just.. [blot] logical sense, I suppose, but. She wanted to anyway. I.. managed to keep it down and not hurt her, and.. well, whatever I did it seemed to soothe her some.
She is so incredibly nice to me. Incredibly nice. She showers me with kind words, and trust when she knows me so little, and [spot] It's It sounds odd, but I don't even understand it~ Well, I mean, of course I understand that she's being nice, but. As in just [spot] just why? I'm trying to accept it, it is likely just who she is, but it's still just... incredibly... different. Is it wrong to be worried about someone being kind~? Probably. But I feel like.. I feel like I should somehow be able to return such feelings of, apparently, utmost trust, and I just cannot. At least not in the way that she seems to feel. I trust her enough not to wish me harm, or [blot] ill, and to keep her word when she claims she'd do something, but, there is still.. that doesn't seem like the same trust she claims to have in me. It's not because of her, but because I don't really know her yet. We've not been through enough, I know little beyond her niceness, troubles, and the few choice life details she decides to tell me, and she knows near nothing of myself. I can't help but wonder if this is some [blot] cultural dichotomy, but. Well, I suppose that is part of why I'm about, hm? Not to say that I don't like her, and don't wish to be her friend, I'm.. flattered, and pleasantly surprised, despite not knowing what I'm doing~ But I [spot] I suppose I wish it were more equal somehow, in feeling. I hope I don't disappoint her too terribly. [spot]
She did something else, though, that is of note. I believe she attempted to suppress my Aether. Keeping the heat down to a cool, but when she did [blot] I felt [a few spots]
It finally came back. The uneven spells of whatever in the hells is wrong with me. It hadn't happened for a long while, quite a long while. Much longer than it had ever stayed at bay Below, so much that I could, of course, move about freely. Explore without issue. It never seemed to come up! And it has been such a treat, such a freedom to be able to move about as I please, but. Then... it surfaced. Not much. Only just a little. And... well I'd been wondering where it'd gone.
It was actually more exciting than it was worrying, because then I knew a bit more about it. Whatever sort of Aether suppression she managed, it brought it back; which. Well, I mean, I had been wondering if I should suppress my Aether all along, but this implies I shouldn't. That I should let it be as it is, however it's changed itself, and I'll be able to move about~ By the gods, I can't imagine how it would've gone if I had done something myself in the ways of suppression. It likely would have been much stronger, which may have been much worse for me. And she did a good job of it too! Managed to keep it down to a point that wouldn't hurt her [a few blots]
I need to think on this more. But there it is, anyway.
She now resides at the Goblet, in the case that I should wish to visit this... family she's staying with. I [blot]
