I am a little nervous to post this because I figure this might be an unpopular opinion but here goes. You don't have to agree with me. This post uses all encompassing language though so keep that in mind.
My guide on how to keep IC/OOC boundaries:
1. Recognize that breaking IC/OOC barriers is not something that 'other' people do. No one breaks IC/OOC boundaries on purpose and no one realizes they are doing it. You're doing it, I'm doing it, everyone here is doing it at some point big or small. Suggesting that you are impervious to it is akin to saying "People are stupid." Everyone makes mistakes and will continue making mistakes for the rest of their life, even in a hobby in a video game.
2. Recognize that you make mistakes. Recognize that other people make mistakes. Practice humility. Getting emotional during RP is normal but be very careful. Getting emotional over RP can be an indicator that a RP scene is very powerful....or it can be a perfect indicator that we need to walk away from the RP. Give yourself space. Take some time to think on happenings in RP. Not every RP decision needs to be made Now, Now, Now.Â
3. It isn't my business or anyone else's to tell anyone else how to RP. Everyone roleplays for different reasons. Some people do roleplay wish fulfillments that they can't acquire in real life. A person's entire character can be based around it or just a few small aspects can be wish fulfillments. Is your character pretty where you consider yourself not? Does she have the body type you want but can't have? Does she have the family you want but can't have? I she strong where you aren't? Is she sociable where you aren't? Is she rich and you aren't?
There are going to be similarities between you and your character. This is inevitable. They will have wish fulfillments, a few or many, it depends on how your character was made. Recognize what aspects of your character these are. Accept that not everyone will find them as desirable as you do.
Unfortunately, the more similarities and wish fulfillments you have will make you more vulnerable (but not guaranteed!) to fall into the trap of OOC/IC boundaries.
4. Now that you have taken a look at the similarities between you and your character. Write out a character profile, make a wiki, write a personality diamond for your character, fill out a questionnaire for your character. Learn your character more.
5. You will break the OOC/IC barrier at some point. Reflect back on your RP and strive for self improvement. Treat others with respect. Treat yourself with respect while still being humble. Don't be a jerk. Don't make others uncomfortable. If you're not sure if something makes someone else uncomfortable, ask. Give your RP partner space if they ask. Do not make everything about you. Be positive and interested in other characters and you will receive the same thing in return.
....But that's not guaranteed and if someone doesn't return your interest then that person is in the right to do so.
If you feel uncomfortable speak up! If someone is being a jerk speak up!
Don't make assumptions about how other people feel about your character. Don't make assumptions about how other players feel about you OOC. If you're not sure, ask!
Assumptions are bad, bad, bad.
Example: Player A has been ignoring me! Why does she hate me?
Player B: "I've been too shy to approach you!"
6. This guideline applies to me too.
Disclaimer: Not really writing this from a romance RP point of view since I don't really do that type of RP.
My guide on how to keep IC/OOC boundaries:
1. Recognize that breaking IC/OOC barriers is not something that 'other' people do. No one breaks IC/OOC boundaries on purpose and no one realizes they are doing it. You're doing it, I'm doing it, everyone here is doing it at some point big or small. Suggesting that you are impervious to it is akin to saying "People are stupid." Everyone makes mistakes and will continue making mistakes for the rest of their life, even in a hobby in a video game.
2. Recognize that you make mistakes. Recognize that other people make mistakes. Practice humility. Getting emotional during RP is normal but be very careful. Getting emotional over RP can be an indicator that a RP scene is very powerful....or it can be a perfect indicator that we need to walk away from the RP. Give yourself space. Take some time to think on happenings in RP. Not every RP decision needs to be made Now, Now, Now.Â
3. It isn't my business or anyone else's to tell anyone else how to RP. Everyone roleplays for different reasons. Some people do roleplay wish fulfillments that they can't acquire in real life. A person's entire character can be based around it or just a few small aspects can be wish fulfillments. Is your character pretty where you consider yourself not? Does she have the body type you want but can't have? Does she have the family you want but can't have? I she strong where you aren't? Is she sociable where you aren't? Is she rich and you aren't?
There are going to be similarities between you and your character. This is inevitable. They will have wish fulfillments, a few or many, it depends on how your character was made. Recognize what aspects of your character these are. Accept that not everyone will find them as desirable as you do.
Unfortunately, the more similarities and wish fulfillments you have will make you more vulnerable (but not guaranteed!) to fall into the trap of OOC/IC boundaries.
4. Now that you have taken a look at the similarities between you and your character. Write out a character profile, make a wiki, write a personality diamond for your character, fill out a questionnaire for your character. Learn your character more.
5. You will break the OOC/IC barrier at some point. Reflect back on your RP and strive for self improvement. Treat others with respect. Treat yourself with respect while still being humble. Don't be a jerk. Don't make others uncomfortable. If you're not sure if something makes someone else uncomfortable, ask. Give your RP partner space if they ask. Do not make everything about you. Be positive and interested in other characters and you will receive the same thing in return.
....But that's not guaranteed and if someone doesn't return your interest then that person is in the right to do so.
If you feel uncomfortable speak up! If someone is being a jerk speak up!
Don't make assumptions about how other people feel about your character. Don't make assumptions about how other players feel about you OOC. If you're not sure, ask!
Assumptions are bad, bad, bad.
Example: Player A has been ignoring me! Why does she hate me?
Player B: "I've been too shy to approach you!"
6. This guideline applies to me too.
Disclaimer: Not really writing this from a romance RP point of view since I don't really do that type of RP.
