I suppose I can offer a view point from the other side of the fence that, in all honesty, isn't all that different. I've been around for, well, a really long time. I've been a part of various linkshells. I've tried leading my own. I've been in and out of different groups as they rise up and then disappear into nothingness.
However, just like some of the new players here, I too have had a great deal of difficulty in finding people to roleplay with, even as long as I've been around. Granted, I primarily play FFXIV for the PvE aspects of the game, RP is something I much enjoy in my downtime. However, while my character might be friendly and outgoing, I struggle. I'm very shy, in reality. There are so many occasions where I'll be sitting around looking for something to do. I might happen by some roleplayers, or some one sitting by themselves, and yet even then I can't really bring myself to bother them just because of my tendency to be shy. Even with people I know.
I'll sit by myself, and let others approach me, and happily engage them-- ....but I've never really had it in me to spontaneously engage others. I will on occasion, but, it's rare. Part of that shyness, I suppose. It can be rough. Even when you find people you enjoy roleplaying with, as more often than not they'll be off with their linkshells or their free companies, and if you aren't a part of it, well, it can seem difficult to get a foot in the door. Doubly so when you find yourself worried that you might be a burden, or put a damper on their roleplay experience with their group of friends since you're the outsider.
I know I second guess myself at times, and wind up just keeping quiet as to not step on any toes. The last thing you want to do is be the burden, right? Last thing you want to do is force yourself in somewhere you might not be wanted, which is perfectly fair. Not every situation calls for every character. Regardless, I know I'm guilty of what has been stated in this thread. Leaving a simple "Hey, I'd be happy to roleplay, just give me a poke in-game!" or even going so far as to be in touch with some one and then get lost somewhere along the way.
Sure, you can try and put yourself out there, but it won't always work. Some times it honestly seems like you just kind of need to luck out and land in the right group of people at the right time. But even then, it might be fleeting. Groups come and go constantly. Other times you'll try, only to be shut down. I know I've had a few experiences, even some relatively recently, where I've tried to get to know a group, only to basically be ignored by everyone present as they all conversed amongst themselves. It's kind of a bummer, but, I wound up giving up on the prospect and moved on. If you can't get the time of day, there isn't much of a point in worrying about it.
Of course, I also know I'm guilty of not being there for people. I'm a raider at my core, which is another thing I know people have dug into me for in the past. I get caught up playing the game, and there has been many occasions where I've had to turn some one down because I was busy doing X content or I just flat space out when I have a mess of in-game goals on my to-do list. Conversely, I've found it hard to sync up with people I enjoy roleplaying with because they too are doing in-game content. Yet when they finish, they have their own linkshell and free company plots to go run, and I generally wind up diddling my thumbs for a bit before wandering off to craft or something.
All of that being said. Roleplay is supposed to be an enjoyable experience. Something fun. A hobby. Despite my own personal difficulties, I do my best not to let it bother me. It is what it is. I know there's people out there who do enjoy roleplaying with me, and I cherish the time we find. I know there's people out there who dislike me, and probably will do their damnedest to avoid me, and that's okay. I might not find as much roleplay as I'd like these days, but, I know a lot of it, if not all of it, is on me. So yeah. It can be difficult to find connections for a myriad reasons, even if you aren't new. I guess when it boils down to it, though, I'd say to just keep at it. Don't let rejection discourage you. Don't let negative experiences get you down. Take a break for a few days, and try again with a new crowd. It might take some time, but, one day you might find that one person that sets everything in motion.
...I'm terrible at advice like this.
However, just like some of the new players here, I too have had a great deal of difficulty in finding people to roleplay with, even as long as I've been around. Granted, I primarily play FFXIV for the PvE aspects of the game, RP is something I much enjoy in my downtime. However, while my character might be friendly and outgoing, I struggle. I'm very shy, in reality. There are so many occasions where I'll be sitting around looking for something to do. I might happen by some roleplayers, or some one sitting by themselves, and yet even then I can't really bring myself to bother them just because of my tendency to be shy. Even with people I know.
I'll sit by myself, and let others approach me, and happily engage them-- ....but I've never really had it in me to spontaneously engage others. I will on occasion, but, it's rare. Part of that shyness, I suppose. It can be rough. Even when you find people you enjoy roleplaying with, as more often than not they'll be off with their linkshells or their free companies, and if you aren't a part of it, well, it can seem difficult to get a foot in the door. Doubly so when you find yourself worried that you might be a burden, or put a damper on their roleplay experience with their group of friends since you're the outsider.
I know I second guess myself at times, and wind up just keeping quiet as to not step on any toes. The last thing you want to do is be the burden, right? Last thing you want to do is force yourself in somewhere you might not be wanted, which is perfectly fair. Not every situation calls for every character. Regardless, I know I'm guilty of what has been stated in this thread. Leaving a simple "Hey, I'd be happy to roleplay, just give me a poke in-game!" or even going so far as to be in touch with some one and then get lost somewhere along the way.
Sure, you can try and put yourself out there, but it won't always work. Some times it honestly seems like you just kind of need to luck out and land in the right group of people at the right time. But even then, it might be fleeting. Groups come and go constantly. Other times you'll try, only to be shut down. I know I've had a few experiences, even some relatively recently, where I've tried to get to know a group, only to basically be ignored by everyone present as they all conversed amongst themselves. It's kind of a bummer, but, I wound up giving up on the prospect and moved on. If you can't get the time of day, there isn't much of a point in worrying about it.
Of course, I also know I'm guilty of not being there for people. I'm a raider at my core, which is another thing I know people have dug into me for in the past. I get caught up playing the game, and there has been many occasions where I've had to turn some one down because I was busy doing X content or I just flat space out when I have a mess of in-game goals on my to-do list. Conversely, I've found it hard to sync up with people I enjoy roleplaying with because they too are doing in-game content. Yet when they finish, they have their own linkshell and free company plots to go run, and I generally wind up diddling my thumbs for a bit before wandering off to craft or something.
All of that being said. Roleplay is supposed to be an enjoyable experience. Something fun. A hobby. Despite my own personal difficulties, I do my best not to let it bother me. It is what it is. I know there's people out there who do enjoy roleplaying with me, and I cherish the time we find. I know there's people out there who dislike me, and probably will do their damnedest to avoid me, and that's okay. I might not find as much roleplay as I'd like these days, but, I know a lot of it, if not all of it, is on me. So yeah. It can be difficult to find connections for a myriad reasons, even if you aren't new. I guess when it boils down to it, though, I'd say to just keep at it. Don't let rejection discourage you. Don't let negative experiences get you down. Take a break for a few days, and try again with a new crowd. It might take some time, but, one day you might find that one person that sets everything in motion.
...I'm terrible at advice like this.
![[Image: 7Ho5y7x.png]](http://i.imgur.com/7Ho5y7x.png)
