Franz had little to no time to react as he felt the hard wooden floor of the inn room. Not a single moment to even dissuade her from entering.
You’re fine.
Only the light of the stars and any surrounding outside lamps were there to illuminate the darker room. A dull, throbbing pain had settled onto the arm and leg to hit the floor first.
You’re fine.
The insufferable embarrassment of being propped up against the bed. Of having the blanket pulled and twisted around him. Had he forgotten to lock the door? Before the blanket had been wrapped and further, a single groggy statement. “I-...I’m fine. Really. Was not that far a fall. Only startled.â€
There was a consideration to reapply the glamor he used to “blend inâ€, but the door was closed and it was the late evening. And she already knows I’m Garlean. Staring back in about as natural an appearance as one from Garlemald could was the gaze of a man with three eyes. Defeated. Tired.  He felt his legs going asleep from the odd position he was sitting. Great. She likely will want an explanation.
But the only words he could mutter were of no use. “I’m fine.†“You neededn’t worry.†“It was just a minor fall from being startled.†Excuse after excuse. He was really only lying to himself at this point. “Please…â€.
He made an effort to to stand, just barely making it half up before falling onto the bed. Pathetic. There was nothing else he could do. “Pathetic. There is really nothing more to describe my state.â€
“It’s just too much. I can’t handle it any longer.â€
Thoughts coming out in spoken words.
“I...I don’t know what to do. I haven’t. Not for such a long time.†A hopeless smile spread across his face. Regret? Defeat? Acceptance? Perhaps just broken. “What more is there to do? I’ve already failed so many things. Couldn’t even keep myself together. Couldn’t fix what was broken.â€
“...broken.â€
“...â€
“That’s really all that’s left. Rejects of the person I was. The memories of a man I never even knew. It…â€
“It hurts.â€
“Everything just hurts, and there’s nothing I can do to fix it.† Tears rolled down the sides of his face.
“I won’t see them again. I...can’t even remember some of their faces. Nothing of who I was. Who I became. It’s too much.â€
He had continued to lie to himself. To others. It didn’t get very far.
Franz just stayed on the bed, whatever position he’d fallen in. Muttering. Admitting his own lack of control over what he thought would be the most basic of things. Personal insecurities. Everything.
What was there to hide? Past jobs as a mercenary? Having to take any job just to survive? A miasma of self-loathe. He was no better than a murderer, having killed people while in the Garlean Army. He was no better than a thief, having stolen away the life of Frhanz Kirche, even if unknowingly. An awful husband. A worse father. He couldn’t even be a proper friend.
What was left? A man full of fragmented pieces of himself, desperately trying to put them back together. Only, he didn’t have all the pieces. And pieces of someone else had been mixed in. How had he expected to put his life back together?
You’re fine.
Only the light of the stars and any surrounding outside lamps were there to illuminate the darker room. A dull, throbbing pain had settled onto the arm and leg to hit the floor first.
You’re fine.
The insufferable embarrassment of being propped up against the bed. Of having the blanket pulled and twisted around him. Had he forgotten to lock the door? Before the blanket had been wrapped and further, a single groggy statement. “I-...I’m fine. Really. Was not that far a fall. Only startled.â€
There was a consideration to reapply the glamor he used to “blend inâ€, but the door was closed and it was the late evening. And she already knows I’m Garlean. Staring back in about as natural an appearance as one from Garlemald could was the gaze of a man with three eyes. Defeated. Tired.  He felt his legs going asleep from the odd position he was sitting. Great. She likely will want an explanation.
But the only words he could mutter were of no use. “I’m fine.†“You neededn’t worry.†“It was just a minor fall from being startled.†Excuse after excuse. He was really only lying to himself at this point. “Please…â€.
He made an effort to to stand, just barely making it half up before falling onto the bed. Pathetic. There was nothing else he could do. “Pathetic. There is really nothing more to describe my state.â€
“It’s just too much. I can’t handle it any longer.â€
Thoughts coming out in spoken words.
“I...I don’t know what to do. I haven’t. Not for such a long time.†A hopeless smile spread across his face. Regret? Defeat? Acceptance? Perhaps just broken. “What more is there to do? I’ve already failed so many things. Couldn’t even keep myself together. Couldn’t fix what was broken.â€
“...broken.â€
“...â€
“That’s really all that’s left. Rejects of the person I was. The memories of a man I never even knew. It…â€
“It hurts.â€
“Everything just hurts, and there’s nothing I can do to fix it.† Tears rolled down the sides of his face.
“I won’t see them again. I...can’t even remember some of their faces. Nothing of who I was. Who I became. It’s too much.â€
He had continued to lie to himself. To others. It didn’t get very far.
Franz just stayed on the bed, whatever position he’d fallen in. Muttering. Admitting his own lack of control over what he thought would be the most basic of things. Personal insecurities. Everything.
What was there to hide? Past jobs as a mercenary? Having to take any job just to survive? A miasma of self-loathe. He was no better than a murderer, having killed people while in the Garlean Army. He was no better than a thief, having stolen away the life of Frhanz Kirche, even if unknowingly. An awful husband. A worse father. He couldn’t even be a proper friend.
What was left? A man full of fragmented pieces of himself, desperately trying to put them back together. Only, he didn’t have all the pieces. And pieces of someone else had been mixed in. How had he expected to put his life back together?
