Sometimes people are just twats. I mean if we're talking aggression be it on here or in game, just last night we were RPing in the Quick Sands as one often does. A player whom I'd never met, whom I'd never RP'd with, whom I had no idea who she was felt the need to try and throw my character across the room after losing a /random. Now among my friends this was controversial and apparently it was also controversial on their side as well, but the way it broke down was I thought that was a bit extreme, I refused to believe that a blind monk of equal or lesser size to myself lifted my character in full armor and threw him across the room because of a /random. I got knocked back and knocked off balance, but refused to be thrown. If this was a problem to the other RPer this person could have Pm'd me and talked about it like a normal human. However instead of explaining who she was and what her character was like she assumed I knew who she was and that this was possible (though I still vehemently disagree that it is), and could have worked on a compromise. Instead she exited the RP OOCly a few minutes later after rather than fighting my character refused to defend himself (we were all technically on the same side and fighting allies seemed...dumb?) then quit the RP and left.Â
She was mad we were "Ignoring" her posts and the "Strength" of her character. However the divisive bit is that myself and one of my partners thought what she was doing was so extreme that I was within my rights to refuse to be hurled across the room like a plate or something. Our other partner said that by refusing I undermined her character, and that's where the bottle neck occurred because I don't give a damn how strong you think you are, I hold people who RP against me to some level of common sense when you deal with me, and she clearly didn't. However a simple PM explaining who she was could have resolved that, instead she chose to be an aggressive twat about it and storm out which then caused several hours of heated debate among friends because while everyone agreed making snide, snarky, bitchy, and uncalled for remarks OOC wasn't the right thing to do, was how I handled myself the right thing to do? And the answer is its debatable.Â
And that in lies the problem with RPers on forums and why communication is the most important thing. I've been browsing this thread here and there all day and it seems a central theme is that sometimes people disagree, and I'm sure this person is normally quiet reasonable. However if you don't explain what or why you will or wont do something you can't expect other people to understand you. Likewise if you're not willing to talk and understand and expect people to rise to your level or whatever you're just going to create disconnects.Â
I've been lucky in that with the RPers I've found in game we're pretty open and we get along with most other players (this has actually been the only incident) that most people tend to fall in line relatively well. However if you think there's a misunderstanding and you answer with hostility as this player did, all you do is make someone else hostile and bitter and that's the death of communication and establishes the idea of cliques. The result of this player being a twat OOCly last night? Blacklisted. Or if I have to unblacklist this person, out of spite I'm either going to ignore their existence entirely or if we do end up RPing again, be understood we're playing by my rules which adhere to realism rather than jumping 30 feet in the air and tossing people across the room like they're weightless. Its not perfect, but if you refuse to communicate then purposely spite someone on your way out, that's the treatment you can expect.
And just like that hostility/aggression is bred.
She was mad we were "Ignoring" her posts and the "Strength" of her character. However the divisive bit is that myself and one of my partners thought what she was doing was so extreme that I was within my rights to refuse to be hurled across the room like a plate or something. Our other partner said that by refusing I undermined her character, and that's where the bottle neck occurred because I don't give a damn how strong you think you are, I hold people who RP against me to some level of common sense when you deal with me, and she clearly didn't. However a simple PM explaining who she was could have resolved that, instead she chose to be an aggressive twat about it and storm out which then caused several hours of heated debate among friends because while everyone agreed making snide, snarky, bitchy, and uncalled for remarks OOC wasn't the right thing to do, was how I handled myself the right thing to do? And the answer is its debatable.Â
And that in lies the problem with RPers on forums and why communication is the most important thing. I've been browsing this thread here and there all day and it seems a central theme is that sometimes people disagree, and I'm sure this person is normally quiet reasonable. However if you don't explain what or why you will or wont do something you can't expect other people to understand you. Likewise if you're not willing to talk and understand and expect people to rise to your level or whatever you're just going to create disconnects.Â
I've been lucky in that with the RPers I've found in game we're pretty open and we get along with most other players (this has actually been the only incident) that most people tend to fall in line relatively well. However if you think there's a misunderstanding and you answer with hostility as this player did, all you do is make someone else hostile and bitter and that's the death of communication and establishes the idea of cliques. The result of this player being a twat OOCly last night? Blacklisted. Or if I have to unblacklist this person, out of spite I'm either going to ignore their existence entirely or if we do end up RPing again, be understood we're playing by my rules which adhere to realism rather than jumping 30 feet in the air and tossing people across the room like they're weightless. Its not perfect, but if you refuse to communicate then purposely spite someone on your way out, that's the treatment you can expect.
And just like that hostility/aggression is bred.
