Well, some real talk after I've slept on the matter and thought it over a bit more.... to try to get back to the spirit of the initial post, some things we can all do to make the RPC a more friendly place...
1. Don't assume every post is targeting you. This goes back to my first post in this thread, but hey, I'll elaborate more this time. As many folks have said, due to the no naming and shaming rule (which certainly should be in place, don't get me wrong), some posts must be left vague. Other posts are not talking about people at all, but a trend itself. If someone says "I don't like Miqo'te" and you play a Miqo'te and really love your character, it can sting. You may wonder, "Why? Are you saying you don't like me, either? Are you saying I'm a bad role-player? Are you saying I shouldn't role-play a Miqo'te? Are you implying I'm wrong and stupid for liking Miqo'te?"
We're all human, we all have insecurities, we all secretly worry about what others think of us. These questions are a natural, knee-jerk reaction to have when someone insults or dismisses something we like, or something we are, or something we do. But even though it's normal to wonder if the person who says "I don't like Miqo'te" is implying these things, please remember they aren't actually saying any of these things. It's all in our heads. Sure, for all we know, they may actually think these things, but we don't know that they do, and they haven't said that they do, so please don't get upset and respond as if they've actually said any of these things you've wondered if they mean.
Do not read into words more than what is there. The person probably isn't talking about you. The person may not even know about you, or who you are, or that you like Miqo'te, or that saying they dislike the thing you like might upset you.
2. Don't look for excuses to fight your enemies. Not everyone here is going to like each other, and that's okay, it's inevitable. I've noticed that a lot of arguments here about lore and whatnot sometimes... don't seem to actually be about the lore at the heart of things. When you dislike someone, it's very tempting to want to find fault with everything they say. It's tempting to look at every post, and try to pick out the one thing that may have been negative, or poorly worded, or to completely misconstrue the point the person was trying to make it, be it intentional to try to make them look bad and pick a fight, or accidental due to the latent desire to just hate everything about that person who wronged you in the past and all that they do. I get it. I feel like it's happened to me a lot, and I admit I've had the temptation myself with people who have hurt me and I've probably given into that temptation more than once.
Please take a step back and ask yourself, "Would I interpet this post the same way if it was written by a total stranger, or a friend? Would I be responding this same way if it was a someone I liked, or someone I've never met?" Resist the temptation, and you may realize that sometimes people you have personal beef with are typically pretty okay, and may even have things to say that you might agree with if you aren't going out of your way to try to find fault in their every post.
1. Don't assume every post is targeting you. This goes back to my first post in this thread, but hey, I'll elaborate more this time. As many folks have said, due to the no naming and shaming rule (which certainly should be in place, don't get me wrong), some posts must be left vague. Other posts are not talking about people at all, but a trend itself. If someone says "I don't like Miqo'te" and you play a Miqo'te and really love your character, it can sting. You may wonder, "Why? Are you saying you don't like me, either? Are you saying I'm a bad role-player? Are you saying I shouldn't role-play a Miqo'te? Are you implying I'm wrong and stupid for liking Miqo'te?"
We're all human, we all have insecurities, we all secretly worry about what others think of us. These questions are a natural, knee-jerk reaction to have when someone insults or dismisses something we like, or something we are, or something we do. But even though it's normal to wonder if the person who says "I don't like Miqo'te" is implying these things, please remember they aren't actually saying any of these things. It's all in our heads. Sure, for all we know, they may actually think these things, but we don't know that they do, and they haven't said that they do, so please don't get upset and respond as if they've actually said any of these things you've wondered if they mean.
Do not read into words more than what is there. The person probably isn't talking about you. The person may not even know about you, or who you are, or that you like Miqo'te, or that saying they dislike the thing you like might upset you.
2. Don't look for excuses to fight your enemies. Not everyone here is going to like each other, and that's okay, it's inevitable. I've noticed that a lot of arguments here about lore and whatnot sometimes... don't seem to actually be about the lore at the heart of things. When you dislike someone, it's very tempting to want to find fault with everything they say. It's tempting to look at every post, and try to pick out the one thing that may have been negative, or poorly worded, or to completely misconstrue the point the person was trying to make it, be it intentional to try to make them look bad and pick a fight, or accidental due to the latent desire to just hate everything about that person who wronged you in the past and all that they do. I get it. I feel like it's happened to me a lot, and I admit I've had the temptation myself with people who have hurt me and I've probably given into that temptation more than once.
Please take a step back and ask yourself, "Would I interpet this post the same way if it was written by a total stranger, or a friend? Would I be responding this same way if it was a someone I liked, or someone I've never met?" Resist the temptation, and you may realize that sometimes people you have personal beef with are typically pretty okay, and may even have things to say that you might agree with if you aren't going out of your way to try to find fault in their every post.
![[Image: NCtCate.png]](http://i.imgur.com/NCtCate.png)
