I wasn't going to respond to this thread even though it touches on a subject that I find myself frequently seeing on the RPC forums for MMOs but then you fine people went and necro'd it for me and now here I am. Â First and foremost to address the OP regardless of the fact that it seems they are lost and will not be returning. Â I, too, love spontaneous RP it is my preference but I know why I prefer it and you've yet to give an answer as to why. Â I could speculate but that would be less than pointless since the likelihood that you will return to tell us one way or the other seems slim. Â So I will share my reason instead, I prefer spontaneous RP because my life is abnormally hectic. Â The times where people are normally busy are when I have all the free time in the world and the times when people are normally free to participate in their leisure activity of choice are the times when I find my ability to attend an event or the like the most compromised. Â With that said, when I first tried a more structured style of roleplay I found that I was able to enjoy it so my first bit of advice is to try getting out of your RP comfort zone (at your own pace of course) and see if you can't find a happy compromise. Â If you have a reason for despising planning of any kind in roleplay you will have to share it because without the reason understanding why you are unwilling to simply send someone a tell asking if they are willing to RP with you in impossible and therefore giving appropriate advice is impossible.
The second piece of advice I'd offer you is that when you make a post like this, you are saying that your current experience with the game is not what you'd like it to be and you are asking others to assist you in correcting this. Â So, for example, when you say things like, "I greatly appreciate everyone who responded and those who actually did friend me. Â Sadly I just can't take the ignoring of my character anymore." Â You are doing yourself a disservice because firstly, there a multiple threads now that have proven there are people willing to help you and you present yourself as either oblivious to or disinterested in their efforts to assist you and frankly that's not the way to get people to continue helping you. Â I choose that specific quote because of its inherently oxymoronic nature. Â In the first sentence you acknowledge and thank people for reaching out to you and then immediately turn around and melodramatically declare that being ignored has become too much for you. Â In the interest of not being an asshat I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say that while people reached out to and friended you it never ended up yielding any actual RP and that is why you continue to be distressed.
I'd like to close off the section of this post specifically dealing with the OP by adding that I would have said more, most of it falling along the lines of suggestions about how to break into a new RP community based on my 16 plus years of RP in MMOs but pretty much everything else I had to say has been said very well by multiple other people in this thread and all the others you've made. Â So I genuinely hope you don't feel personally attacked or offended, just trying to point out things that I think may be of use to you should you choose to return.
To address the much broader conversation that has developed in this thread I must first commend Lilia and Uther for seeing an opportunity to remind other people who may be struggling with problems similar to the OP and taking the initiative to try and help them as well as the OP.
As for the nature of the walls roleplayers put up between themselves and other roleplayers, I first and foremost agree that they are as much an obstacle for the people who put them up as they are for those who they keep out. Â I will readily admit to having been guilty of such things myself in the past, but in my defense during this time in my roleplaying experience I was literally 9 to 12 years old. Â In an attempt to understand others who create these kinds of barriers I'll share my thoughts on why it was I did it and how I was able to work past the problem. Â
I started isolating myself from others because I was petrified of doing or saying something wrong. Â I was a nine year old who was playing Everquest with my parents controlling when and for how long I could play and I'd find myself regularly feeling like the odd person out because of my young age. Â So when I started roleplaying I was desperate to seem like I fit in and I think that is the root of the problem, or it was for me. Â When you are roleplaying you the player shouldn't really be worrying about anything, you are inhabiting another person when you are IC and anything that happens during your time IC has no direct bearing on you whatsoever, even if like most writers you put a little bit of yourself into your character you are still not your character. Â
Now I can understand someone rebutting this point by saying that there is the investment in your character and when you tell stories in a collaborative manner you risk something happen to your character or conflicting with your plans for their story that you cannot abide. Â To this I would say so what? Â You are omnipotent when it comes to your character, if something goes down during some RP that you aren't cool with, do a small side story to right what was wronged or simply retcon it. Â If anyone gives you any guff about it then they are probably a right proper ass and you shouldn't care what they say or think anyway. Â The notable exception being that if your character is deeply involved in a storyline with other equally committed parties and you try to change something that affects their characters too, in this instance it is probably best to reach out to those involved and solve the problem together.
Now back to fade back into the shadows. Â
The second piece of advice I'd offer you is that when you make a post like this, you are saying that your current experience with the game is not what you'd like it to be and you are asking others to assist you in correcting this. Â So, for example, when you say things like, "I greatly appreciate everyone who responded and those who actually did friend me. Â Sadly I just can't take the ignoring of my character anymore." Â You are doing yourself a disservice because firstly, there a multiple threads now that have proven there are people willing to help you and you present yourself as either oblivious to or disinterested in their efforts to assist you and frankly that's not the way to get people to continue helping you. Â I choose that specific quote because of its inherently oxymoronic nature. Â In the first sentence you acknowledge and thank people for reaching out to you and then immediately turn around and melodramatically declare that being ignored has become too much for you. Â In the interest of not being an asshat I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say that while people reached out to and friended you it never ended up yielding any actual RP and that is why you continue to be distressed.
I'd like to close off the section of this post specifically dealing with the OP by adding that I would have said more, most of it falling along the lines of suggestions about how to break into a new RP community based on my 16 plus years of RP in MMOs but pretty much everything else I had to say has been said very well by multiple other people in this thread and all the others you've made. Â So I genuinely hope you don't feel personally attacked or offended, just trying to point out things that I think may be of use to you should you choose to return.
To address the much broader conversation that has developed in this thread I must first commend Lilia and Uther for seeing an opportunity to remind other people who may be struggling with problems similar to the OP and taking the initiative to try and help them as well as the OP.
As for the nature of the walls roleplayers put up between themselves and other roleplayers, I first and foremost agree that they are as much an obstacle for the people who put them up as they are for those who they keep out. Â I will readily admit to having been guilty of such things myself in the past, but in my defense during this time in my roleplaying experience I was literally 9 to 12 years old. Â In an attempt to understand others who create these kinds of barriers I'll share my thoughts on why it was I did it and how I was able to work past the problem. Â
I started isolating myself from others because I was petrified of doing or saying something wrong. Â I was a nine year old who was playing Everquest with my parents controlling when and for how long I could play and I'd find myself regularly feeling like the odd person out because of my young age. Â So when I started roleplaying I was desperate to seem like I fit in and I think that is the root of the problem, or it was for me. Â When you are roleplaying you the player shouldn't really be worrying about anything, you are inhabiting another person when you are IC and anything that happens during your time IC has no direct bearing on you whatsoever, even if like most writers you put a little bit of yourself into your character you are still not your character. Â
Now I can understand someone rebutting this point by saying that there is the investment in your character and when you tell stories in a collaborative manner you risk something happen to your character or conflicting with your plans for their story that you cannot abide. Â To this I would say so what? Â You are omnipotent when it comes to your character, if something goes down during some RP that you aren't cool with, do a small side story to right what was wronged or simply retcon it. Â If anyone gives you any guff about it then they are probably a right proper ass and you shouldn't care what they say or think anyway. Â The notable exception being that if your character is deeply involved in a storyline with other equally committed parties and you try to change something that affects their characters too, in this instance it is probably best to reach out to those involved and solve the problem together.
Now back to fade back into the shadows. Â
