Sometimes, you didn't fail... but you sure as hell believed it when you were told you did.Â
And that's the problem I have out in the Real World. Most of the people in my life have been super supportive of me and my decisions. But despite that, the handful of those who weren't supportive often seemed to have the larger effect on me, probably because a couple of them had control of my grades.
I recently turned thirty-one. I am just now reaching a point where... yeah, I may actually manage to shake off those voices that told me I was a failure. For the past couple years, my husband has kept reminding me that he wants me to find the career that'll make me happy. I was recently offered space to set up a workshop/studio. I've acquired all the material I need to start... except a pair of safety goggles, rubber gloves, and a particle mask.
And I am so afraid to get those three items.
Not having them gives me an excuse to not actually start on this course of action. I don't want glass in my eyes, and my lungs are in bad enough shape without coating them in portland dust. And since I can't start, I can't fail. But once I have them? There'll be no more excuses. Will I be the failure that a few people told me I would be? Did I just waste all that money on nothing?
It's scary.
And that's the problem I have out in the Real World. Most of the people in my life have been super supportive of me and my decisions. But despite that, the handful of those who weren't supportive often seemed to have the larger effect on me, probably because a couple of them had control of my grades.
I recently turned thirty-one. I am just now reaching a point where... yeah, I may actually manage to shake off those voices that told me I was a failure. For the past couple years, my husband has kept reminding me that he wants me to find the career that'll make me happy. I was recently offered space to set up a workshop/studio. I've acquired all the material I need to start... except a pair of safety goggles, rubber gloves, and a particle mask.
And I am so afraid to get those three items.
Not having them gives me an excuse to not actually start on this course of action. I don't want glass in my eyes, and my lungs are in bad enough shape without coating them in portland dust. And since I can't start, I can't fail. But once I have them? There'll be no more excuses. Will I be the failure that a few people told me I would be? Did I just waste all that money on nothing?
It's scary.
