Oh my… where to even begin. I just finished re-reading my last entry. I've recovered a bit since then. Perhaps this is why I keep this journal. To look back upon some of my lower points, and be thankful that today was much better.
Ferathir contacted me today. He said he would be at the faire, so I met up with him. It was busy as usual, yet it's so easy to tune everything out when we are having one of our chatting sessions. He bought some battered fish.. though now that I think of it, he actually got it for free. How lucky! It was delicious! Very crispy. I was so hungry though.. I just picked it up with my hands and began to feast. But.. I guess there was nothing to be ashamed of in doing so, as Ferathir mentioned that it's a common way of eating this type of food. Then again.. now that I really sit here and collect my thoughts, maybe I shouldn't take his word for it. He did mention that he's ate slime before. That can't be common.Â
I've come to know a little of Ferathir's background.. where he came from, and from what. He's made plenty of accomplishments, though I doubt he would ever boast about them.Â
After spending time at the faire, we left for the Goblet–my idea. I found a public spa and I found it most interesting that a free company would open their property up like that to the masses. How very generous!
We enjoyed the relaxation.. or at least, I know I did. I'm unsure what seemed to be wrong with Ferathir. I don't know.. he just seemed.. off. He wouldn't sit on the seats.. and he kept blowing bubbles in the water. Odd behavior indeed. But.. aside from that we talked. Mostly about V'ieh. I learned quite more about her. I only wish I could have learned it through her, but she is usually not around.She -did- however answer Ferathir's call today. She joined us in the spa.. though unfortunately, it was short lived. Oh!! I've almost forgotten!
Today.. I made the oath! The -real- one. I knew I was going to do it.. I just didn't realize… how soon.. and fast it all happened. I'm sure I looked quite the fool, which I do so hate with a passion. Ah.. I'm glad it's over though. One less thing to stress about.
Only to be replaced by something else to stress over. V'ieh mentioned a Doman man that she had grown fond of. Hiro, I believe the name was. She wanted him to take the Oath, but he.. died before he could finish it. I feel horrible for writing this.. but I wonder what happened. It's none of my business, I know. Yet.. I wonder. I got lost in my excitement that V'ieh knew a fellow Doman… that's how it all came up. The tension.. sudden shift in everyones mood was so obvious. And it was my fault. If only I had listened to Ferathir and shut up when he asked me to. I'll not make that mistake twice.Â
What do you really say to someone who has lost a loved one? I'm no different.. I lost my family. But..I stay busy.. and I laugh a lot. Smile a lot.. even when it's hard to do so. A simple apology just feels so… mediocre. But.. what else is there to say? And what right do I have saying more than that? I didn't know Hiro. I didn't know V'ieh's relationship with him to it's fullest. We can be Oathsisters.. but in a situation such as that.. I feel powerless. My words.. don't really mean anything. Anyone can say they are sorry.
Ferathir made attempts to help me recover from that.. and I'd say it helped.. mostly. Though it still hangs in the back of my mind. What will I say next time we meet? I do so hope it goes much smoother..it doesn't look good to make the oath.. and right after doing so, ruin it all.
I was dressed in swim attire.. and Ferathir was shirtless..I didn't really think anything of it, until V'ieh walked in.. and.. then I just felt .. so.. so… embarrassed. I have no problem being undressed. I do not see it as a sexual.. thing.. at least not always. But.. it was strange. I felt exposed.. in some strange way. I'd actually.. rather not recall this memory.. but oh well. I shall not erase it.
Maybe if I were alone in that spa.. it wouldn't have made me think such.Â
Our.. chatting sessions got very interesting. In fact.. I think it impossible to forget them, so I'm not even going to write about them in detail. Just.. in case.
Ferathir contacted me today. He said he would be at the faire, so I met up with him. It was busy as usual, yet it's so easy to tune everything out when we are having one of our chatting sessions. He bought some battered fish.. though now that I think of it, he actually got it for free. How lucky! It was delicious! Very crispy. I was so hungry though.. I just picked it up with my hands and began to feast. But.. I guess there was nothing to be ashamed of in doing so, as Ferathir mentioned that it's a common way of eating this type of food. Then again.. now that I really sit here and collect my thoughts, maybe I shouldn't take his word for it. He did mention that he's ate slime before. That can't be common.Â
I've come to know a little of Ferathir's background.. where he came from, and from what. He's made plenty of accomplishments, though I doubt he would ever boast about them.Â
After spending time at the faire, we left for the Goblet–my idea. I found a public spa and I found it most interesting that a free company would open their property up like that to the masses. How very generous!
We enjoyed the relaxation.. or at least, I know I did. I'm unsure what seemed to be wrong with Ferathir. I don't know.. he just seemed.. off. He wouldn't sit on the seats.. and he kept blowing bubbles in the water. Odd behavior indeed. But.. aside from that we talked. Mostly about V'ieh. I learned quite more about her. I only wish I could have learned it through her, but she is usually not around.She -did- however answer Ferathir's call today. She joined us in the spa.. though unfortunately, it was short lived. Oh!! I've almost forgotten!
Today.. I made the oath! The -real- one. I knew I was going to do it.. I just didn't realize… how soon.. and fast it all happened. I'm sure I looked quite the fool, which I do so hate with a passion. Ah.. I'm glad it's over though. One less thing to stress about.
Only to be replaced by something else to stress over. V'ieh mentioned a Doman man that she had grown fond of. Hiro, I believe the name was. She wanted him to take the Oath, but he.. died before he could finish it. I feel horrible for writing this.. but I wonder what happened. It's none of my business, I know. Yet.. I wonder. I got lost in my excitement that V'ieh knew a fellow Doman… that's how it all came up. The tension.. sudden shift in everyones mood was so obvious. And it was my fault. If only I had listened to Ferathir and shut up when he asked me to. I'll not make that mistake twice.Â
What do you really say to someone who has lost a loved one? I'm no different.. I lost my family. But..I stay busy.. and I laugh a lot. Smile a lot.. even when it's hard to do so. A simple apology just feels so… mediocre. But.. what else is there to say? And what right do I have saying more than that? I didn't know Hiro. I didn't know V'ieh's relationship with him to it's fullest. We can be Oathsisters.. but in a situation such as that.. I feel powerless. My words.. don't really mean anything. Anyone can say they are sorry.
Ferathir made attempts to help me recover from that.. and I'd say it helped.. mostly. Though it still hangs in the back of my mind. What will I say next time we meet? I do so hope it goes much smoother..it doesn't look good to make the oath.. and right after doing so, ruin it all.
I was dressed in swim attire.. and Ferathir was shirtless..I didn't really think anything of it, until V'ieh walked in.. and.. then I just felt .. so.. so… embarrassed. I have no problem being undressed. I do not see it as a sexual.. thing.. at least not always. But.. it was strange. I felt exposed.. in some strange way. I'd actually.. rather not recall this memory.. but oh well. I shall not erase it.
Maybe if I were alone in that spa.. it wouldn't have made me think such.Â
Our.. chatting sessions got very interesting. In fact.. I think it impossible to forget them, so I'm not even going to write about them in detail. Just.. in case.