John step into the hall, leaning back against the door, and waited for a moment to see if he could hear any voices in the mansion. The house was dark and quiet and lonely, matching his heart. Even Kit's tiny arms around his neck could seem to get rid of the aching in his heart. "It would seem..." he whisper, swallowing hard against the tightness in his throat, "that they make such a nice couple..."
It had started at the Flame Festival, watching everything going on off to the side, and as usual keeping out of the way. He had spoke to Private Guhtgeiswyn for a few minutes, him apologies for her having to search Coerthas when Howl had been in Ul'dah, though he didn't go into details on how he was hurt. He had still been in shock over how many pies Jancis had eaten, and happy when Khuj'a had come to watch a little bit of the Joust that took place near the end of the festival. He even arrived at the Grindstone late but it had been worth it. He had been healing for Flower when strong arms wrap about him, causing him to almost jump out of his skin.
He had spun around, taking in the sight of Howl as he had been before Ryuuga had taken control of his body. He had thrown his arms around Howl, letting Howl's aether flow over him. Yes, it really was him and he laugh as Howl spun him around. Then he introduce him to her, Xhosa Tauzeh. He realize how pretty she was but didn't notice the touches that Howl and her exchanged with each other because he had been so blinded by his happiness on Howl being back to himself and forever free from Ryuuga.
It wasn't until he was back to healing that he truly notice the exchange of touches, the brush of their tails against each other, how she whisper at him, and the blush that stain his cheek. John watch them head back to the stone and he realize that he was always going to remain on the outside, just as he realize with Sam and with Sara. "I'll remain his best friend..." he murmured, stroking Kit's arm. "This stupid crush will fade in time. It won't hurt when it's gone...right, Kit?" He stumble his way up the stair, dreading the letter that Xhosa said that she would send. "To train me... I'll make sure she right for him and then slip off to the side like before."
He curl up on the couch in front of the fire. "I'll still have you, right Kit?" he asked, clutching Kit's book to his chest. He let his eyes drift close, those thoughts in his head.
*****
John open his eyes, seeing the darken room, the bright sunlight never reaching into the room he stood in. Yet there was light, as he turn, and smile at the small family as he brought a tray of tea over. Two young kits were playing with the small wooden toys and Howl and Xhosa were leaning in close, speaking to each other. He sat the tray down, staying well out of the light that surrounded the family, knowing he would never be a part of it. Words of greetings were exchange, laughter, though strain on his part fill that little bubble of light.
He look down at the little ones, seeing a mixture of the dad and mom in them. They were teasures, since they were Howl's children, and he regale them with stories of their dad and their mom, making the couple blush, and the light grew brighter, the slight touch feeling like it burn him. It wasn't long before the little family stood, he follow after them, wanting to be in the light even if it burnt him alive.
Howl turn and wave at him and John slam into a barrier, unable to pass out of the room. "No..." he shouted, trying to find an edge to the barrier, and his eyes widen as the family turn away from him. He slam his hand against the barrier. "NO, DON'T LEAVE." He slide down the barrier, "don't leave me alone...." he whisper, even as the darkness of the room closed in and suffocated him.
*****
John's eyes flew open, grasping for air, and stared in terror at the darken room. It took him a moment to relax his grip on Kit's book, taken in the dying fire, and letting the room come into focus. He was in the library of the hall. The dream...except it wasn't Howl and Xhosa that had been the couple that had original been in it. Tanya and Sam had been the first and then Pick and Sara. And as much as he remember Howl's words, the dream always reminded him how alone he would always be.
He laid in the dark, watching the fire continue die, and he kept repeating to himself, and hoping that he would believe it one day. "It's a stupid crush...get over it John."
It had started at the Flame Festival, watching everything going on off to the side, and as usual keeping out of the way. He had spoke to Private Guhtgeiswyn for a few minutes, him apologies for her having to search Coerthas when Howl had been in Ul'dah, though he didn't go into details on how he was hurt. He had still been in shock over how many pies Jancis had eaten, and happy when Khuj'a had come to watch a little bit of the Joust that took place near the end of the festival. He even arrived at the Grindstone late but it had been worth it. He had been healing for Flower when strong arms wrap about him, causing him to almost jump out of his skin.
He had spun around, taking in the sight of Howl as he had been before Ryuuga had taken control of his body. He had thrown his arms around Howl, letting Howl's aether flow over him. Yes, it really was him and he laugh as Howl spun him around. Then he introduce him to her, Xhosa Tauzeh. He realize how pretty she was but didn't notice the touches that Howl and her exchanged with each other because he had been so blinded by his happiness on Howl being back to himself and forever free from Ryuuga.
It wasn't until he was back to healing that he truly notice the exchange of touches, the brush of their tails against each other, how she whisper at him, and the blush that stain his cheek. John watch them head back to the stone and he realize that he was always going to remain on the outside, just as he realize with Sam and with Sara. "I'll remain his best friend..." he murmured, stroking Kit's arm. "This stupid crush will fade in time. It won't hurt when it's gone...right, Kit?" He stumble his way up the stair, dreading the letter that Xhosa said that she would send. "To train me... I'll make sure she right for him and then slip off to the side like before."
He curl up on the couch in front of the fire. "I'll still have you, right Kit?" he asked, clutching Kit's book to his chest. He let his eyes drift close, those thoughts in his head.
*****
John open his eyes, seeing the darken room, the bright sunlight never reaching into the room he stood in. Yet there was light, as he turn, and smile at the small family as he brought a tray of tea over. Two young kits were playing with the small wooden toys and Howl and Xhosa were leaning in close, speaking to each other. He sat the tray down, staying well out of the light that surrounded the family, knowing he would never be a part of it. Words of greetings were exchange, laughter, though strain on his part fill that little bubble of light.
He look down at the little ones, seeing a mixture of the dad and mom in them. They were teasures, since they were Howl's children, and he regale them with stories of their dad and their mom, making the couple blush, and the light grew brighter, the slight touch feeling like it burn him. It wasn't long before the little family stood, he follow after them, wanting to be in the light even if it burnt him alive.
Howl turn and wave at him and John slam into a barrier, unable to pass out of the room. "No..." he shouted, trying to find an edge to the barrier, and his eyes widen as the family turn away from him. He slam his hand against the barrier. "NO, DON'T LEAVE." He slide down the barrier, "don't leave me alone...." he whisper, even as the darkness of the room closed in and suffocated him.
*****
John's eyes flew open, grasping for air, and stared in terror at the darken room. It took him a moment to relax his grip on Kit's book, taken in the dying fire, and letting the room come into focus. He was in the library of the hall. The dream...except it wasn't Howl and Xhosa that had been the couple that had original been in it. Tanya and Sam had been the first and then Pick and Sara. And as much as he remember Howl's words, the dream always reminded him how alone he would always be.
He laid in the dark, watching the fire continue die, and he kept repeating to himself, and hoping that he would believe it one day. "It's a stupid crush...get over it John."
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