
Seriously, why not just snip all the backstory you've got after Sion falls from the airship? Maybe she lost her arm, maybe she didn't. Maybe that happened later and she only recently got a replacement thanks to Ishgardian engineering.
That's one of the first rules of writing: kill your darlings. You may really like the ambassador idea, the double identity angle, etc but it's too much. It's a mess. I'm telling you right now it's an over complicated mess.
You've got a good foundation of a character there— a half-breed with a chip on her shoulder becomes a killing machine, gets roped into a conspiracy to try and assassinate the Emperor (probably BECAUSE she's a half-breed and considered disposable, unlike a pure breed Garlean), it all goes horribly wrong.
That part is solid.
So what if she landed in Doma BEFORE the Empire stomped through, found an Au Ra ninja master who taught her new skills and allowed her to find peace with herself? She realizes relentless conquering and subjugation is not the way, yadda yadda yadda, but then whoops here comes he Empire, so much for that peaceful new life.
If they found out she's actually not dead she is FUCKED, so she has to flee to Eorzea with all the other Doman refugees, much as she may want to either stand & fight for her new home or even rejoin them and go back to her old one. She can't do either, it sucks, is probably still a sore point.
Maybe she wants to find a way stick it to the Empire somehow. Maybe she wants to meet with other defectors, see how they cope. There's a lot of angles to work it. Is she ashamed of her old killing machine self? Does she try to repress it only to have it come out in the heat of battle? Does that embarrass her if so? Or is she totally zen these days, like a new person?
Think about what she wants, what she's afraid of, because weaknesses are ultimately even more important than strengths.
That's one of the first rules of writing: kill your darlings. You may really like the ambassador idea, the double identity angle, etc but it's too much. It's a mess. I'm telling you right now it's an over complicated mess.
You've got a good foundation of a character there— a half-breed with a chip on her shoulder becomes a killing machine, gets roped into a conspiracy to try and assassinate the Emperor (probably BECAUSE she's a half-breed and considered disposable, unlike a pure breed Garlean), it all goes horribly wrong.
That part is solid.
So what if she landed in Doma BEFORE the Empire stomped through, found an Au Ra ninja master who taught her new skills and allowed her to find peace with herself? She realizes relentless conquering and subjugation is not the way, yadda yadda yadda, but then whoops here comes he Empire, so much for that peaceful new life.
If they found out she's actually not dead she is FUCKED, so she has to flee to Eorzea with all the other Doman refugees, much as she may want to either stand & fight for her new home or even rejoin them and go back to her old one. She can't do either, it sucks, is probably still a sore point.
Maybe she wants to find a way stick it to the Empire somehow. Maybe she wants to meet with other defectors, see how they cope. There's a lot of angles to work it. Is she ashamed of her old killing machine self? Does she try to repress it only to have it come out in the heat of battle? Does that embarrass her if so? Or is she totally zen these days, like a new person?
Think about what she wants, what she's afraid of, because weaknesses are ultimately even more important than strengths.