“I did,†Roen answered without much hesitation, her gaze also remaining on the far wall. “The reason I came to Ishgard was to run away from my failures.â€
That much she was willing to admit. And a part of her was surprised that there was not a stronger pang in her chest as she did so. Was it because Khadai was a stranger? She had found that confessing her thoughts was a cathartic and even a helpful thing when she had confided in Ser Heuloix in the Cathedral, because he too was a stranger then. Or was it because she saw fragments of herself in the Xaela warrior’s disposition?
“Where I came from, the sun scorched the stone and soil from sunrise to sundown.†Her voice grew distant as she began to recall the bright sandy landscape of Thanalan. “Snow was a miraculous thing in Ul’dah if it ever happened, and often it melted as soon as it hit the sand. It was exactly the opposite of Ishgard in climate. It is also where I trained as a knight and had called home for many years.â€
The paladin paused, her finger absently tracing the chain links of her armor. “Perhaps that is why I came here. I sought to run far away from all that I knew… to dismiss from mind my regrets, my mistakes.†Roen snorted ruefully and shook her head. “I thought that coming to a land plagued by a thousand year war, where all they hoped for was to survive against beasts that sought to destroy their lives… I thought that would be enough to bury all other troubles.â€
Long auburn forelocks fell before her eyes as she lowered her head. “I was wrong. I was foolish to think so. You cannot bury your past. You cannot forget all that you have done.†Her voice had dipped and her expression had turned sour. “So aye. I did seek refuge, and perhaps for poor reasons. I came here because I could not stay where I was. And yet here, I am still lost.â€
That much she was willing to admit. And a part of her was surprised that there was not a stronger pang in her chest as she did so. Was it because Khadai was a stranger? She had found that confessing her thoughts was a cathartic and even a helpful thing when she had confided in Ser Heuloix in the Cathedral, because he too was a stranger then. Or was it because she saw fragments of herself in the Xaela warrior’s disposition?
“Where I came from, the sun scorched the stone and soil from sunrise to sundown.†Her voice grew distant as she began to recall the bright sandy landscape of Thanalan. “Snow was a miraculous thing in Ul’dah if it ever happened, and often it melted as soon as it hit the sand. It was exactly the opposite of Ishgard in climate. It is also where I trained as a knight and had called home for many years.â€
The paladin paused, her finger absently tracing the chain links of her armor. “Perhaps that is why I came here. I sought to run far away from all that I knew… to dismiss from mind my regrets, my mistakes.†Roen snorted ruefully and shook her head. “I thought that coming to a land plagued by a thousand year war, where all they hoped for was to survive against beasts that sought to destroy their lives… I thought that would be enough to bury all other troubles.â€
Long auburn forelocks fell before her eyes as she lowered her head. “I was wrong. I was foolish to think so. You cannot bury your past. You cannot forget all that you have done.†Her voice had dipped and her expression had turned sour. “So aye. I did seek refuge, and perhaps for poor reasons. I came here because I could not stay where I was. And yet here, I am still lost.â€
