When the paladin looked back up at Khadai, her cheeks were flushed with emotion and her eyes glistened with the tears she had shed. She found herself at a loss for an answer, especially when she glimpsed the rare wistful expression on the warrior. She stared at him for a moment longer almost dumbfounded, before she hastily wiped at her face to erase the trail of moisture there.
“Why.... do I wish to aid you?†she repeated hoarsely. “I…â€
Roen paused again. Did she know why? She had warned him of the cruelty that existed in this world… because she believed that it would crush his optimism, his belief that people were inherently decent. She knew first hand what that lesson felt like, and she was desperate to spare him of it.
But was that not the realization that should be taught to others? That virtue had no place in this world? Was he not headed down the same path of disappointment and regret if he continued to hold onto his unwavering faith in humanity? If she truly believed it to be so… she should be doing all she could to grant him that understanding. So why was there a part of her that wanted to protect him from it?
“I… see parts of myself in you, Khadai.†She bowed her head, her voice just barely audible over the creaking wooden beams of the cellar. “How I used to be. Driven with hope. Believing others to be fair. Eager to do what I could to help those who were in need. I… do not wish to see you become like me, as I am now. Lost.â€
Roen tucked the earrings back under her breastplate, letting out an exhale as she felt the gems come to rest against her chest. Her gaze drifted to the stone grooves on the floor as she spoke. “You said we all learn to leave our path and wander. I have been wandering for sometime now, feeling adrift. I thought that was what I wanted.â€
The paladin shook her head. “But all I felt was emptiness. I thought if I pushed everyone all away, then I would feel nothing. I was wrong.†She turned back to Khadai, peering up at the warrior. “It was in coming to your aid that some of that hollow feeling was forgotten.â€
She shrugged with a quiet sigh--an almost a helpless gesture. “I... have no purpose of my own. Not… not yet. But perhaps in aiding you… I can start to find my own way.â€
Roen regarded him for a moment longer, her expression softening despite the sadness that lingered there. “And you are a foreigner in a land you do not know. You should not go about it alone. It seemed like the right thing to do.â€
“Why.... do I wish to aid you?†she repeated hoarsely. “I…â€
Roen paused again. Did she know why? She had warned him of the cruelty that existed in this world… because she believed that it would crush his optimism, his belief that people were inherently decent. She knew first hand what that lesson felt like, and she was desperate to spare him of it.
But was that not the realization that should be taught to others? That virtue had no place in this world? Was he not headed down the same path of disappointment and regret if he continued to hold onto his unwavering faith in humanity? If she truly believed it to be so… she should be doing all she could to grant him that understanding. So why was there a part of her that wanted to protect him from it?
“I… see parts of myself in you, Khadai.†She bowed her head, her voice just barely audible over the creaking wooden beams of the cellar. “How I used to be. Driven with hope. Believing others to be fair. Eager to do what I could to help those who were in need. I… do not wish to see you become like me, as I am now. Lost.â€
Roen tucked the earrings back under her breastplate, letting out an exhale as she felt the gems come to rest against her chest. Her gaze drifted to the stone grooves on the floor as she spoke. “You said we all learn to leave our path and wander. I have been wandering for sometime now, feeling adrift. I thought that was what I wanted.â€
The paladin shook her head. “But all I felt was emptiness. I thought if I pushed everyone all away, then I would feel nothing. I was wrong.†She turned back to Khadai, peering up at the warrior. “It was in coming to your aid that some of that hollow feeling was forgotten.â€
She shrugged with a quiet sigh--an almost a helpless gesture. “I... have no purpose of my own. Not… not yet. But perhaps in aiding you… I can start to find my own way.â€
Roen regarded him for a moment longer, her expression softening despite the sadness that lingered there. “And you are a foreigner in a land you do not know. You should not go about it alone. It seemed like the right thing to do.â€
