“Purpose,†he repeated softly. The Xaela stared at the runestone for a while longer. As she tucked her bauble back into her breastplate, so too did the runestone vanish into the folds of the ebon black tabard that adorned his armour.
Kasrjin glanced at her directly for the first time in their conversation, his shimmering viridian eyes meeting her grey gaze. It was considerably less steely than before, having softened considerably.
He exhaled in contemplation. Purpose. A reason for being. It was something that seemed so fleeting to so many people here. He had never had cause to question purpose. He was Khadai, one who was called upon to defend. Purpose was never in doubt or question.
Or was it?
That was not always true. There was a time where he was in flux. His place in the world uncertain, his direction lost, his efforts apparently meaningless in the face of doubt. Where purpose was questioned. Why had I been placed in this world?, he had thought. Why this, and not another? Another where such anxiety and incertitude did not have a place.
Purpose. To feel as if one belonged in the world they had been placed in.
It was a doubt that could kill, if one was not careful.
He glanced away.
“I have not always been Khadai,†he murmured, his voice filled with baritone resonance. “Perhaps you think all of my people to be like stone, unwavering against waves. And at times, they may be.†He shifted his legs, lowering one knee and raising the other. “All are called upon to use the greatest of their skills and knowledge. As Khadai are called to defend, so are Erdegai called to create. And Yerenai called to nurture. But it is not infallible. There are lapses in resolve. This becomes uncertainty. Doubt. A feeling of...lacking purpose, for purpose and function are not identical.â€
Kasrjin shifted, clearly uncomfortable with his word choice and unsure of whether or not his statements were being received in the way that he intended them. A part of him always disliked talking for this very reason: it was an awkward method of communication filled with nuances and ambiguities. Nonetheless, he pressed on.
“There are times where one wonders why they are placed in this world, and not another. Where they belong, if they belong at all. If one’s nature is not conducive to one’s function, but one’s function can override one’s nature, who is this person? What is their...purpose?â€
He sighed and shook his head to clear the haze from his mind. “All wander,†he repeated. “But to wander and to be lost...they are not one and the same. Lacking purpose only means...one will find it in the future. Regardless of what comes.â€
Kasrjin glanced at her directly for the first time in their conversation, his shimmering viridian eyes meeting her grey gaze. It was considerably less steely than before, having softened considerably.
He exhaled in contemplation. Purpose. A reason for being. It was something that seemed so fleeting to so many people here. He had never had cause to question purpose. He was Khadai, one who was called upon to defend. Purpose was never in doubt or question.
Or was it?
That was not always true. There was a time where he was in flux. His place in the world uncertain, his direction lost, his efforts apparently meaningless in the face of doubt. Where purpose was questioned. Why had I been placed in this world?, he had thought. Why this, and not another? Another where such anxiety and incertitude did not have a place.
Purpose. To feel as if one belonged in the world they had been placed in.
It was a doubt that could kill, if one was not careful.
He glanced away.
“I have not always been Khadai,†he murmured, his voice filled with baritone resonance. “Perhaps you think all of my people to be like stone, unwavering against waves. And at times, they may be.†He shifted his legs, lowering one knee and raising the other. “All are called upon to use the greatest of their skills and knowledge. As Khadai are called to defend, so are Erdegai called to create. And Yerenai called to nurture. But it is not infallible. There are lapses in resolve. This becomes uncertainty. Doubt. A feeling of...lacking purpose, for purpose and function are not identical.â€
Kasrjin shifted, clearly uncomfortable with his word choice and unsure of whether or not his statements were being received in the way that he intended them. A part of him always disliked talking for this very reason: it was an awkward method of communication filled with nuances and ambiguities. Nonetheless, he pressed on.
“There are times where one wonders why they are placed in this world, and not another. Where they belong, if they belong at all. If one’s nature is not conducive to one’s function, but one’s function can override one’s nature, who is this person? What is their...purpose?â€
He sighed and shook his head to clear the haze from his mind. “All wander,†he repeated. “But to wander and to be lost...they are not one and the same. Lacking purpose only means...one will find it in the future. Regardless of what comes.â€
