(12-24-2015, 07:52 AM)Rathalos Wrote: Ok, I'll just point out a few lore problems.Thank you Rathalos!
Try to avoid using "tribe" as a Keeper, tribe is a Seeker method of organisation. Keepers live in families (also called Clans), a number of people that varies, but is much smaller than a tribe. As far as I can remember, women take care of the young and males are often away, stray cats. And although they can be wild, it seems like the Keepers are much more integrated to society in the Shroud instead of being reclusive. Keepers are indeed the hardest kind of Miqo'te to find lore about, but at least this little is there.
The Coeurlclaw are a bunch of females taken by the Coeurl King and kept in a system akin to a cult; the postmoogle quest "The Past is a Story we Never Tell" explains much of how they behave, if you cannot complete it search the transcription of dialogue in the databases. There's only one male there. You're free to use it if you want, but Garlean experiments within the sept are something very unlikely to happen.
Edit: I'm not sure if it's intentional, but your character's mother has a typically male name. Female Keepers have no suffixes in their names!
The clan vs tribe thing was definitely a thing I got confused on. I kept hearing the two 'factions' as a whole (Seeker and Keeper both) are clans, and they both lived in 'tribes'. I've heard others say other things, one site say another, etc. I got so confused, so now I know. XD I will change all the tribe-areas to clan.
As for the reclusiveness/wildness, I had meant for him to be an exception to the more integrated Keepers-- his mother was definitely the one to take care of him, but he really never 'knew' his parents due to some kind of 'force' (using 'force' as a general thing at the moment because I may end up changing the groups of people responsible for taking his mother away from him, depending on responses and suggestions) taking them away from him at a very young age. It was pretty much the age for a miqo'te where they were able to grow up on their own, but couldn't really remember people from that period of time after so long, if that makes sense. After that, thats when he would have grown up on his own and just became a bit of a 'nature boy', more in tune with the forest and natural things than the typical Keeper Miqo'te. His clan would have been a bit similar, but probably not as wild. Just more structured.
The Coeurlclaw part I'm definitely looking to change somehow. Originally I had thought them to be a basic 'thug group', but with your explanation, I can see they aren't. X3
As for his mothers name, it was not intentional. X3 I will also change that too.
Thank you very much Rathalos! If you have any suggestions for replacements that could equal the Coeurlclaw or the Garleans, please let me know.
Speaking of Garleans, would experiments in general be something they would do? (Not in conjuction with the coeurlclaws, of course.)
Legion of Solace Linkshell (Currently Inactive)
(We are looking for people interested in a rebel-group of defected imperials, ex-garlean slaves with strong emphasis on Garlemald as an FC antagonist. We also deal with side threats like void, and general adventuring/heroism. They would also treat each other like family.)
Lucius' Wiki: https://wiki.ffxiv-roleplayers.com/pages...s_Ignatius
*Feel free to add your own rumors~!
(We are looking for people interested in a rebel-group of defected imperials, ex-garlean slaves with strong emphasis on Garlemald as an FC antagonist. We also deal with side threats like void, and general adventuring/heroism. They would also treat each other like family.)
Lucius' Wiki: https://wiki.ffxiv-roleplayers.com/pages...s_Ignatius
*Feel free to add your own rumors~!
